One of the nightmares I’ve been having lately is that it’s our wedding day, and we’ve forgotten EVERYTHING. The candles aren’t lit. My dress is wrinkled. No one knows where they’re supposed to be. And WORST of all, we forgot to get a marriage license!!! NO WEDDING WITHOUT THE LICENSE!!!
This morning, I dragged Kev to the courthouse. Obligatory picture for anyone who lives in Dekalb county and is getting married:
Oh yeah, you know you’re in Georgia now, buddy!
There are many scary rules in the Marriage and Pistol License probate court office. First off, they point you to a pile of clipboards with forms to fill out. The top sheet on the clipboard says “DO NOT APPROACH THE CLERK WITHOUT FILLING OUT PAPERWORK!”
“Do not approach the clerk?” Sounds like a good band name.
Under that order/thinly veiled threat (or what? what happens? I approached the clerk first…am I on a list now? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME????) is a sheet of instructions on how to fill out the booklet. Those instructions stop at line 15 of the booklet, with two more pages yet to fill out. OH MY GOD, I NEED TO APPROACH THE CLERK! Yes, we have to fill those out. I pull out the whole booklet and finish filling it out (my handwriting is neater, therefore, I get to fill out all paperwork in this relationship. And Kev kills bugs. We should formalize these duties in our vows).
Paperwork done, we approach the clerk. Then, another panicky moment…at the top of the clipboard, a sticker: “DO NOT REMOVE ANY PAPERS FROM THIS CLIPBOARD”
Holy shit! We’re screwed!
I frantically stuffed the booklet into it’s spot in the clipboard before the clerk got to us. Whew! that was close!
Those people are STRICT!
We had to swear an oath (right hands raised and everythihng) that all the info we had given was factual and complete, blah blah blah. Paid an OUTRAGEOUS fee, and that was it. We were handed the certificate and an envelope of more papers. Hmmmm…
“Congratulations on getting married. Let us tell you about AIDS!”
That was weird. I guess this is lieu of a bloodtest now?
To celebrate our halfway legalness, we ate breakfast at Chik fil A. Because nothing says We Are Ready To Make A Lifetime Committment To Each Other like chicken biscuits and sweet tea.
Last week on the phone, my mom asked me if I was still going to do the reception centerpieces.
Whoops.
So today, I took the afternoon off and went to Michaels, Office Depot, Target, and CVS. I bought small baskets, votive candles with glass holders, floral foam, and assorted silk flowers and leaves. I was disappointed with the fake goard assortment, so I’ll have to see if grocery stores start carrying real tiny decorative goards soon. Very soon.
I bought paper for the wedding programs. I bought waterproof mascera, individual fake eyelashes, and long lasting lipstick, as per my stylist’s instructions.
I bought a gift for my brother, and a small gift for my future mother in law. Kev already bought her the latest Sopranos DVD as a gift, but I thought that might not scream “thanks for all the money for our wedding.” So I bought her a mother of pearl ring with a butterfly on it.
I still don’t know what I should get my parents. Maybe…TiVo? Any suggestions?
OK, way too much wedding stuff. Here is a fun picture of Sadie for those of you who made it all the way through!
