Archive for the 'misc' Category

the art of BS and goodnews/badnews

Published Monday, February 5, 2007 in relationship/sex, misc, ask ESC and friends. 14 Comments

The art of science writing: taking something very simple and writing very complicated sounding things about it.

I think this is why I am sucking at writing. At my base, I am a very plainspoken writer

no, really? go ON, ESC? you? plainspoken? blunt? honest? tactless?

shut up.

I am not so good at the flowerly language. And similarly, I am not so good at the BS science writing. You can just come out and SAY “Next, we did X to proove Y, see figure Z”. You have to figure out how to say that one thing in three statements, using 4 figures, and using language that makes the whole process so much more complicated that it really was.

Can you tell I’m spending a lot of time banging my head on my laptop? I have dents in my forehead.

bad news: one of our wedding gift wine glasses committed suicide from the wine glass rack yesterday

good news: I sold a set of stitch markers. the profits of which will be spent replacing the wine glass

bad news: it’s not really profit, as I spent $50 on beading supplies in a “this will cheer me up” crafty shopping spree at Michael’s on Saturday

good news: I had no real stake in the super bowl on Sunday, so I cheered for both teams. Consequently, my team won! Go us!

bad news: my friend Elizabeth’s son has just been diagnosed with some neurological issues that are affecting his development

good news: it’s not life threatening, and especially since they caught it so early, it’s completely overcomable

bad news: I am cold all. the. time

good news: i am surrounded by things that are warm - Sadie at my feet, hot coffee in my mug, and a down blanket on my lap.

good news: I am apparently a relationship genius. you all should consult me before making any relationship decisions. this is incredibly ironic considering how long I was single and relationshipless before meeting Kev. And considering the lack of drama in our relationship. Anyway, write to me with your relationship problems! And I will SOLVE THEM FREE OF CHARGE!!

happy monday. hope your good news outweighs the bad news this week!

a thursday thought

Published Thursday, February 1, 2007 in rants and misc. 6 Comments

if we can’t have people putting up lite brites displaying a cartoon character flipping the bird without causing mass panic and evacuations…

…then the terrorist have already won.

***

Dear city of Boston,

Get a grip. No one cares about you enough to bomb you.

love,

ESC

Tuesday nibs and bits

Published Tuesday, January 30, 2007 in daily and misc. 6 Comments

I haven’t forgotten about donations for Nanner. I’m getting the impression that she is a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing. Which is just too bad, because her friends are going to help her out ANYWAY! so THERE!

****

did you know that when you get something from JT’s stockroom, you get a tootsie roll pop with your order? How many licks indeed!

****

To the 14 year old girl who apparently has me linked from her myspace blog:

if you are indeed a 14 year old girl, I’m pretty sure you’re not really allowed to have a myspace blog. Isn’t there an age limit? It says right there in your profile that you are 14. Seems like the dorks over at myspace would be able to filter you right off.

In spite of that, your username, “ohbabyletsbang,” is hugely HUGELY way inappropriate. You are 14. The only thing you should be banging is your head against the wall when your parents won’t let you get your nose pierced. There should be NO “oh babys” that you are banging.

Now, there is the distinct possibility that you are NOT a 14 year old girl. You could be, in fact, a fat sweaty 47 year old man still living in his parents basement, luring young boys to your faux nasty site for unthinkable nastiness and Dateline Tuesday’s next Emmy nominating pedi-smackdown.

In either case, get offs my internets, and removes the linkages. You are nasty and gross and DON’T MAKE ME GROUND YOU, YOUNG LADY!!!

housekeeping

Published Tuesday, January 16, 2007 in misc and ask blogland. 15 Comments

Anyone else have to work yesterday? Well, I assume most of the midwest crackah’ states did. Most of georgia was shut down, of course. Except for me.

Made up for it today by working at home. Woke up this morning with some pretty bad stomach cramps. Seriously, if it’s not one thing, it’s ANOTHER with me lately! Anyway, decided “fuck this” and stayed home to write. Nothing like writing in comfy pants with a dog laying on your feet.

I also updated my links page. Same rules apply - if you feel you have been removed unjustly (”I swear, I’m still around!” “I can’t update my blog because of the rehab!” “I don’t leave comments because I’m lazy!”) let me know. If you’ve been added and you are horrified of the little icon I made for you, let me know. If you have been a faithful commenter and I neglected to add you (I have things on my mind, it happens), let me know.

And speaking of commenting, seems like I’ve gotten a few lurkers out of the woodwork lately (where are the woodworks, exactly? Is it, like, cabinetry? A land of cabinetry?). I am sure there are more of you out there, so HEY LURKERS! GO AHEAD AND COMMENT!

I rarely bite. REALLY! If you have a blog, link it and I will check it out and if I like it or if you keep leaving nice comments on my site, I will link you! And even if you don’t have a blog but are just plain LAZY and mooch off the glory of other people with blogs, leave a comment! Kidding about the mooching part! And hey, start a blog!

what’s that funny smell?

Published Wednesday, January 3, 2007 in daily and misc. 15 Comments

Took a sick day today. Headachey and body achey and some coughing and a general what the fuck is going on with me? feeling.

But you don’t want to hear all about that, and I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about my super mario brothers woes, so I was at a bit of a loss as to what to post about.

So how about I tell you about my creepy neighbor?

OK, I won’t lie, many of my neighbors are creepy. But this guy is SUPER creepy. He lives on the other side of the building, facing the parking lot. And he was hard to miss when I first moved into my condo.

He’s very skinny and very pale. Mostly bald, I would say in his late 40’s, and always sporting a very sour look. I noticed him because he had this weird habit of spreading out a blanket at a sunny spot behind the building (where I am) and just sitting in the sun. Not *enjoying* the sun. just sitting in it, in shorts and t-shirt. As if he was trying to supplement his vitamin D production, but wasn’t happy about it. Because of his looks, and this weird habit of his, I started (mentally) referring to him as “chemo man,” because he just had this sickly look about him. Even though he spent time in the sun, he was always pale and sour looking.

After that first summer, he stopped his habit of sitting in the sun. I started seeing him less and less. And when I did, he never acknowledged my presence. He had a car, and would occasionally drive…somewhere. But his appearances were rarer as the years passed. One day, there was a guy installing a new front door on chemo man’s place. Along with that door, there was some kind of motion detector alarm that went off any time someone walked by his door. Unfortunately, since anyone who lived in our section HAD to walk by his door to get to the parking lot…the beeping got to be quite annoying. Ah, so he’s not only creepy chemo man, he’s creepy PARANOID chemo man.

After a few weeks, the beeping must have gotten on his nerves, because the alarm got deactivated. But it became apparent that his voyages outside the condo because fewer and fewer. Flyers would build up for a week or three, and then just when I’d think maybe it was time to see if I noticed any peculiar oders coming from his direction, they’d all disappear and his car would be gone for an afternoon.

His blinds are always closed, and behind them is always dark.

Current status: It’s been weeks, possibly months. There are all kinds of fliers and menus stuck in his door, as well as a bag of phone books that arrived some time in november.

Is he…dead? Uber-hermiting? Should I knock? Call the police? I don’t notice any obvious smells, but I haven’t gone right up to his door and taken a good whiff. Plus I’m not sure if I could tell the difference between “decomposing body” and “creepy unwashed old man” smell. Kev says to leave it alone, it’s none of our business.

BUT IT’S SUCH A MYSTERY! Who is this guy? How does he support himself financially? Is he sick? Is he dead? Why doesn’t he lay in the sun anymore? Why did he in the first place? Is he a fugitive from police? A serial killer with a fridge full of body part “souvenirs?”
The suspense is killing me. All that stuff is still piled up in front of his door as of this morning.

I will probably never know, though. Next wacky neighbor installment: the incredibly butch woman.

last weekend of gluttony

Published Friday, December 29, 2006 in daily, misc and photos. 6 Comments

What are you doinggggg new years….newwwww YEEEEARS daaaaaay?

In all probability, I will be spending the weekend playing super mario brothers on my ds lite. Oh yeah…got it yesterday. Now THIS…THIS is a video game. It is Old Skool. This is a game I can play. Suck it, King Koopa.

But really, Princess Peach? Can you NOT go anywhere without being abducted?

What a flake. That’s the problem with Old Skool video games - no good strong female role models. Except that chick from Street Fighter (was that the name?). She kicked ass.

Anyway, tomorrow we’re going out with friends for new years eve eve - japanese food and then back to their house for games and drinks. We were going to do it Sunday, but Saturday was the only time her parents could watch their kids. It’s weird when friends breed. Scheduling is a real issue.

Sunday….who knows. Maybe a movie and a trip to circuit city to buy one those cool ds lite cases - though I still haven’t decided which one I want. Maybe it will help if I can touch them both. I’m leaning towards the skulls one, though it’s more expensive.

Monday will mostly likely be filled with alternating sleeping, ds lite, and knitting. And then a traditional dinner of pork roast, mashed taters, sauerkraut, and kielbasa. Oh, and I bought Kev a can of black eyed peas to make him happy. Weirdo southern traditions. I’m not making collards, though. bleack!

*****transition!*****

Today I bought stamps. I can’t remember the last time I bought stamps - who mails things anymore? But I had a stack of happy new years cards to get out, and I needed stamps. I asked if they had any “festive new year” stamps, and was handed a catalog. Ehhh…flags…flowers…”crops of america?”…breast cancer - too depressing…favorite children’s book characters? SCORE!

My name is ESC and I am 4 years old. My new years cards have curious george and olivia the pig and the monster from “where the wild things are” on them.

Ok, I don’t think I can make it any more obvious that I have NOTHING to say today

nothing to say? Jeebus, girl, you have a whole post here, and then say you have nothing to say? You talk alot for someone with nothing to say.

Shut up, asshole.

Anyway, I’m dry, so here’s a picture of Kev holding some of his christmas loot.

kev and his stocking loot

And I just realized that the red stocking he’s holding on his lab kind of makes it looks like he’s wearing a giant man thong. And he’s going to kill me for saying that. But I thought I would before everyone just ASSUMES that Kev got a man thong for christmas. Because he didn’t.

My grandmother did buy him boxer shorts though. CREEPY!

signs

Published Thursday, December 14, 2006 in misc and science!. 7 Comments

on a billboard on my way to work:

“Do you believe in love at first zip?”

-Earthlink

doesn’t that seem a little dirty for an ISP advertisement?

On a door I pass on my way to the pop machines:

“Please do not open this door. Doing so will compromise our experiments.”

Really? What are you doing in there? It’s not dark, I can see light coming through the foil and cardboard taped on to the window. I am now OBSESSED! What would really happen? What could opening your door possibly do? Are there fearful mutants in there? Why couldn’t you have just put a “keep door closed” sign on the door, and I would have never given it a second thought. But now it’s all I can do to walk past your door WITHOUT EXERTING MASSIVE WILLPOWER TO KEEP MYSELF FROM OPENING YOUR DOOR!!!

Two doors down from previous door:

“Beware of very friendly dog”

What????? Is there a dog in your lab? I’d open the door to check, but I’m afraid that I would compromise your experiments.

On a totally different note, I just screwed up and ruined the experiment I had planned for today. I have something else I can do today, but I felt it best to give myself a little “time out” before I go ballistic and do something crazy. Like open a door.

how to recover…

Published Saturday, November 18, 2006 in misc and food. 11 Comments

…ESC style

once you haven’t puked in over 12 hours:

eat a bowl of oatmeal and some toast, just to make sure your stomach isn’t faking (stomachs like to do this “oh, I feel better. go ahead. eat the burger. I swear I won’t make you throw up…….PSYCHE! ALL OVER YOUR SHOES, BITCH!!!”)

once you have determined that the bug is completely out of your system:

1. go eat bbq. lots of bbq. with fries. and fried okra. feel drunk with food. attempt Karaoke at bbq’s “family night.” sing a song written by lesbians, just to mess with the hicks. fail miserably at maintaining proper pitch, but don’t care. FOOD!

2. go home. drink….nog. nog and spiced rum. ahhh…yeahh….that’s the good stuff.

dancing with rum and nog

happy holidays, yo.

I have planned a thanksgiving menu, and even picked up a turkey. a WHOLE turkey. 10.7lbs of fresh young butterball turkey. the fact that it has “young and fresh!” scrawled across it makes me feel a little…dirty. yesssss…yesssss…I likes them YOUNNNGGGG! and…freeesssssshhhhhhhh….


ew.

I need more nog.

good and bad

Published Wednesday, October 25, 2006 in relationship/sex, misc and photos. 9 Comments

the good:

Yesterday I put our new sheets, blanket, and quilt on the bed, and replaced the bright red curtains in a calming neutral shade to match (OK, they are twin sheets used as curtains. but they still look good). They are beautiful. A marked contrast from the previous set - all bright yellows and oranges and reds. When I first moved to atlanta, and when I bought my condo after living for a year in an apartment of all whites, I wanted COLOR! BRIGHT BEAUTIFUL BOLD COLORS! Excitement! Passion!

But now I want soothing, calming colors. Rich and luxuriant. Chocolately warm colors with a hint of pale pink femininity. I was obsessed with brown and pink in the registry. I think I did pretty good - I couldn’t find a set that met all my (er…our) needs, so I mixed and matched to get what I (umm…we) wanted!

Our bed is gorgeous. And the high thread count sheets are amazing. Kev and I both loved the softness, and he especially loved that the quilt, in contrast to the previous bulky comforter, was warm without being suffocating. We very much enjoyed…hehe…breaking in the new bedding last night.

the bad:

our bed is now so damned comfortable that I absolutely could not get out of bed this morning. I am supposed to be writing, dammit! Not snuggled deep in my bed, blanket pulled up to my chin, watching HGTV until noon!

(noon? did I say noon? of course not! I meant…errr…10:00. yeah. sweetie, I was totally out of bed right after you left)

old bed: (actually, this pic is really old - pre-Kev. look how less cluttered it is. *sigh*)
old bed style

new bed:

new bed style

you look so calm!

Published Monday, October 2, 2006 in daily, misc, science! and wedding. 10 Comments

Nothing stresses me out more than people telling me how not stressed I look. “are you nervous? You look so calm! I’d be so freaked out right now! HAHAHAHA!!”

Hahahahahafuckyou.

I’m on very good drugs, OK? And for once I think I have things ALMOST under control. Except that the ditz limo guy still hasn’t faxed my mom the payment form, and I still have to pay the cake guy - I’m probably going to have to drop it off in person…SWELL…and there is much confusion at the church office about wedding protocol, as my pastor told me they would use the deposit that they weren’t supposed to cash that they DID cash anyway towards the fees for janitorial services, the organist, etc, but apparently no one told the office manager this and OH MY GOD I hope they get that straightened out, otherwise we are going to owe a lot more money…even though we’d get some of it back..

AND ARE YOU CONFUSED YET, BECAUSE I SURE AM!!!

**************

depressing stereotypes

I sat behind a girl who happened to be african-american on the shuttle today, and noticed her studying a notebook of her handwritten asian writing of some kind. I asked her what language she was studying.

“Japanese”

“wow. I’m really impressed!”

“hehehe thanks! It’s really hard.”

“I’m sure it is!”

I had so much respect for her, trying to learn such a difficult language. I suck at languages - I can’t imagine learning one that’s not even romantic/germanic based.

1 minute later I lost my respect for her as she answered her cell phone.

“hey! where you at?”

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

*************************

geek nostalgia

The contents of the lab are officially moving off to Duke next week, and the lone post-doc and I are scrambling to get things ready. We need to hoard away the stuff we’re keeping, and get everything else cleaned up and ready to move that’s going.

I’m going through the shelves above my bench, pulling out half-empty bottles of media, old no-longer-sterile water, and no-longer-used buffers…when I find…

Buffers I and III. Old school miniprep buffers.

They were also the very first buffers I made in the lab. Probably on the first day - the date on the bottles is right around then. We don’t use them anymore - we have the miracle of pre-made kits. But still…it was a little hard to dump those down the drain.

*******************

*twitch*

For some tradition which origins are unknown to me, and probably are non-existant, Kev and I are…”refraining” for this week leading up to the wedding. Some people do a month, some do two weeks…we think we might make it a week. This is some kind of stupid idea thought up by people like us who have been living IN SIN and think that by abstaining for a few days before the wedding, our virginities will magically reappear and our wedding night can be super duper special.

Which is not only bullshit, but also some kind of cosmic joke, because just when you’re at your MOST stressed and need some kind of outlet…NO SEX FOR YOU!

We kind of cheated last night, but not really. We just…uhhh…made ourselves happy in the vicinity of each other. Bwaha! how’s THAT FOR WORDING!

Anyway…this is going to be a rough week all around.

oy.

Mean, clean, dancing queen

Published Thursday, September 21, 2006 in daily, misc and friends. 12 Comments

Mental note: the people in the hallway cannot hear the ABBA on my iPod, and therefore will greet my groovin’ and boppin’ to “Take a chance on me” with raised eyebrows and strange looks.

**************

Yesterday, I got GOODIES in the mail! SOAP! From our own Scented Serra! Four bars of Peachy Green Tea goodness for me, and two bars of manly Sweetgrass Cedarwood Sage for Kev. They all smell yummy. I’m happy to report that I used my peachy green tea soap last night, and NOT ONLY was the result a very squeaky clean ESC, but a very sweet smelling and soft-skinned ESC as well.

I recommend…no…no…what’s the word…demand! I DEMAND you all go to her site and request lots of soap. Her prices are reasonable, and she discounts if you buy 3 at a time.

So a big SHOUT OUT THANK YOU to Serra for the soap - it was a long time coming but the wait was totally worth it!

**************

OHMYGODI’MGETTINGMARRIEDINTWOWEEKSHOLYSHITI’MNOTREADY

ANDMYCONDOISAMESSANDMYPARENTSAREGOINGTOYELLATMEEEE!!

my hair is awesome

Published Wednesday, June 7, 2006 in misc, blogging, science!, links and ask blogland. 16 Comments

It is. Maybe I’ll take a pic later to delight and amaze.

My week was going so well at work - seriously, I was finally getting somewhere.

Then, last night after I left, the powersupply on my 2nd dimension gel crapped out. Probably after an hour. Leaving my dna in a bright beautiful arc…about an inch from the start. So I’ve got it set at 190V in an attempt to complete the run by the end of the day. But now I’ve got nothing to do. I should be writing, or something. But i’m not.  I’m wasting time on the internets.
Anyway, go here and figure out where your limit is. I can hear 17,000Hz, but nothing after that. Some of the younger punk undergrads in the lab can hear a faint 19,000Hz, but nothing after that. So maybe it does work!

*************************

On a completely unrelated note, does anyone out there know how to “grab” a favicon from a website, so that I can use it as a button link? I found a plugin that’s supposed to do it for me, but I can’t get it to work.

ehmm…something something “evil,” annddd…bwahahahah and such

Published Tuesday, June 6, 2006 in daily and misc. 8 Comments

Yeah, maybe I should do a whole post about me being “evil” and today is 666 and it’s the number of the beast, except that it’s not, it was on the 1st, so I hope you were prepared and bought your evil day gifts in time.

I was going to do a longer post, but my hair salon squeezed me in for a 4:00. It’s not my usual stylist, so I’ll be CHEATING ON HIM! In FULL VIEW of him, too. Serves him right for not catering to my last minute whims.

Catch ya later.

juxtaposition

Published Tuesday, May 23, 2006 in misc. 13 Comments

two bumper stickers seen on the back of a van last night.

#1. Non-judgement day is coming.

#2. What part of illegal don’t you understand?

Uhhhh…I’m confused.

did I say productive?

Published Monday, May 22, 2006 in daily, misc and on the teeveeee. 7 Comments

Did I say that we were actually going to do more work on sunday? Because what I SHOULD have said was “on sunday, we’re going to lay around the house, moaning about back and leg pain.” because that’s exactly what we did. The only productive thing I did was make a cake for someone’s birthday in the lab for today. Mmmmm…cake!

We did watch a few entertaining hours of Ted Nugent’s reality show, where he takes a bunch of city sissies and makes them shoot guns and kill animals. I particularly like the numerous breakdowns the annoying vegan animal rights activists kept having, where she tearfully asked the cameras how she could possibly deal with everyone around her killing and eating precious precious animals, and how she’s the only one who cares about animals, and it’s like SLAVERY because no one cares but her.

1. It’s Ted Nugent. What did you think you’d be doing, weaving baskets? Of course you’re going to be killing things.

2. there is a difference between caring about animals, and respecting them. just because you kill and eat an animal, doesn’t mean you don’t have respect for them. If your places were reversed, that chicken would have eaten you in a heartbeat.

Whiney people on shows are so entertaining. SUCK IT, BITCH!

And then the gay guy won (this is what I like about this show - instant gratification. not some long, tedious, 8 week elimination process. nope - quick eliminations, you know who wins by the end of the two hours. THANK YOU!), and showed his appreciation by giving Ted a big bear hug. I was rooting for a sloppy wet kiss, as Nug had previously expressed his lack of support for that kind of “lifestyle.” But he kept it clean. damn.
it’s amazing where people reach their “line.” even die hard libertarian “keep your rules off my land, tell the government to suck it, fucking USA home of the FREE, MOTHERFUCKERS!” have their limits. “Freedom for everything…uhhh…except for gays. that shit ain’t normal.” yeah, uh huh. whatever, Nug. go kill a wild boar, or something.

Tonight instead of doing more work at home, we’ll probably go BACK to Ikea to pick up the flooring - hooray! And it will cost much money. booooo. everyone wants money from me lately. Julie and Aimee want me to come to NY in July. Fun! But…flights are $214. Can I afford that??? I DON’T KNOW! PROBABLY NOT! But it may be the closest I get to having a bachellorette party, with my bridesmaids out of state or in a state of extreme mommyhood. Really, I just want to go there to drink and buy knock off designer purses.

Somehow, I must come up with money. Maybe I can start working the streets. Hey baby…wanna date? Wait, are you a cop?

lil’ bits

Published Wednesday, April 26, 2006 in daily, misc and TMI. 16 Comments

I may be in the scooter/moped market in the near future.  For reasons that are an entire blog posts worth on their own, and I’m not going there quite yet.  Anyway…

anyone have one?  do ya like it?

***************************
Is it wrong to use those expensive “e2″ lithium batteries in an electric toothbrush?  My mom puts these batteries in my christmas stocking every year.  I never use them.  Everything I own that’s electronic is rechargabe.  Except my cheapo Crest electric toothbrush.  Which seems a waste of the battieries superior “e2″ power.  However, my teeth are now really REALLY squeaky clean.  Powerfully clean.
**************************

awkward moment at curves.  actually, two awkward moments, both involving the same woman.  I’ve seen her there before.  But I noticed her today because oh my god, her highbeams were on.  Good lord woman, I can SEE that you’re wearing a sports bra.  Those things are supposed to squash everything DOWN.  and it’s NOT cold in here.  Do you have those inserts in there?  Seriously.  Turn those things down.

As I was finishing up my workout, I overheard her talking to one of the employees about the 6-week program, which is that diet I was on earlier.  She’s interested.  So I stopped to chat, letting her know what it was about…carefully keeping my gaze at her face (jeebus, woman, you are working out!  those things must be made of diamond!)  One of the things I told her was that I had difficulty fitting in all the little meals you’re supposed to eat, because I got home from work so late, that by the time I ate dinner, it was too late to squeeze in another snack.  that’s when she came out with this gem:

“Yeah, by the time I get home from work, and then shower…well, I don’t ALWAYS shower.  Because by the time I get home, you know, I’m not really sweaty anymore…so anyway, by the time I get home…”

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA…why on EARTH did she feel the need to share THAT disgusting bit of information???  Now I’m the first to admit, I don’t shower every day - not good for my skin.  But I ALWAYS shower after working out.  Because you’re not washing off the sweat, lady.  You’re washing off the funk that the sweat leaves behind!  Ew ew EW!  However I see that she is not wearing a ring, so I’m guessing the only offense is to her…I’m guessing…three cats at home.  She seems the type.
And another thing, WHY do people feel the need to share these little tidbits of their disgusting lives with me?  I am forever sharing uncomfortable elevator rides with people who have blurted out things like “boy, I’m glad it’s the end of the day, my corns are KILLING me!  Hahaha!”

What do you SAY to that?  “sorry about your nasty ass feet?”  STOP SHARING THESE THINGS WITH ME, ANONYMOUS STRANGERS!

This probably goes along with my dislike of going into the bathroom, and then using the same stall I just saw someone I’m familiar with come out of. 9 times out of 10, it’s OK.  But on that 10th time, I really don’t want to have to pass you in the hallway every day and think “hey, there goes pees-on-the-seat-and-doesn’t-clean-it-up girl.”  Or “leaves-a-floater” woman.

I have issues.

all the emotional maturity of a 12 year old boy

Published Tuesday, April 18, 2006 in misc. 7 Comments

I watch a lot of home improvement shows. One day, I will be able to build my own environmentally friendly and energy efficient home out of recycled styrofoam cups and mashed old newspaper pulp. And then tastefully decorate it using homemade art and mosaic tiles. It will be glorious.
But

I always giggle when I hear the the phrase “biscuit joiner.”

hehehehehehehe….biscuit joiner.

free advertising

Published Monday, March 27, 2006 in daily and misc. 6 Comments

I want to give shout outs (for free) to two internet based business that recently saved me a shit load of money.

the first is Petshed. It’s a pet supply business based out of australia. You know how all those people are going to canada to get their prescriptions filled, and the government is all pissy about it, even though the drugs here are outrageously expensive for no good goddamned reason? Well, australia is like canada. For pets.

A while back, I bought a generic version of Heartguard, which can cost me $60 at other places, but only cost me $25 (including shipping!) at PetShed. This is the illegal bit, because Heartguard is a prescription (for some insane reason - it’s less dangerous than frontline, for god’s sake - I know this because once sadie got into the heartguard and ate 4 of them at once, the little bitch, and suffered NO ILL EFFECTS) and you’re not allowed to get your prescriptions from other countries, and you’re not supposed to be able to get them without a prescription (I didn’t send them one). And it was NO PROBLEM at PetShed!
Last week I bought some Frontline, which would cost me over $80 normally, but I got for $50 (including shipping) for a 6 month supply (which will last me a year) at PetShed.

I *heart* PetShed.

The second shout out goes to Kokopelli music. My ipod mini’s battery was definately going shitty (after a whole year….right after the warrentee ran out. bastards). It would only store enough charge for a few hours, and then the battery indicator stopped being accurate, so it would tell me that I had half a charge, when really I had next to nothing.

For $17 (plus shipping), I got a battery replacement kit and instructions. it was scary and a little challenging, but I did it. And my mini is back to being supah wonderful. So if you’re iPod battery is acting up, and you don’t have $300 for a new fancy one, install a new battery yourself!

Or, you can send them your iPod and they’ll install a new battery for you. I think this service is $35. Still cheaper than a new one.

So there ya go. ESC sells out for no money. Patronize and enjoy!

things I’ve learned so far this weekend

Published Saturday, March 18, 2006 in daily, misc and food. 0 Comments

1. never buy the pre-made roasted veggie and hummus wraps in the cafeteria EVER AGAIN. EVER.

2. Neither Kev nor I enjoy corned beef, really. We never have to make it again.

3. my 3 favorite words right now: Mmmmmint Mmmmmmocha FRAPACCINO!

4. my 3 LEAST favorite words right now: Limited Time Only

5. Target shoes are cute and cheap, and I LOVE THEM!!!

6. Posting a picture of my nekkid legs on my blog must freak some people out. Next time, maybe my arms? ok, that’s just me being paranoid.

7. cooking light is the best food magazine EVER and you should all go out and buy the issue with the mac and cheese on the cover and then make the greek bulgar salad and also the red lentil soup. fucking fantastic.

8. my dog has a red eye with a swollen, slightly enflamed corner of her eye. I am keeping it clean with saline solution and giving her benedryl in the hopes that it’s allergies. not really something I’ve LEARNED, but I wanted to get that in here at some point, and this list format seemed to be a good way to do it. also, she’s mad at me because I gave her a bath and clipped her toenails, and now all her bedding is in the wash so she doesn’t know where to sit, so she just keeps wandering around the living room giving me longing sad looks with her red eye. I don’t feel guilty, though, because she’s so cute and fluffy after her bath. OK, I’m rambling.

9. knitting cotton washcloths is quick and satisfying. and useful!

Overheard at Michael’s

Published Monday, March 13, 2006 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

(the craft store, not the blogger)

a teenage girl, one aisle over;

TG: Like, we get a day off for, like, Martin Luther KING day, but, like, Jesus Christ raises from the DEAD and we, like, don’t get a day off for it????

does she know easter is on a sunday this year…and EVERY YEAR???

Sunday night picture show

Published Sunday, February 26, 2006 in daily, misc and photos. 0 Comments

suddenly, VH1 takes over this blog

You know who is REALLY having the Best Week Ever? Best TWO weeks ever, really. Andrea Bocelli. Seriously, I’ve seen more of this man in the past two weeks than I have for the past 6 years.

And what the hell…Avril Lavigne in the closing ceremonies? Seriously, Italy…you can do better.

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the pampering continues

Today I got my hair cut! Now for gratuitous self-portraits!

front view
the front, all grunged out and hanging over my eye. I have one with it tucked behind my ear (a must for any new haircut - MUST GET HAIR OUT OF FACE!) but my eyes were all psycho looking and scary, and OK if you REALLY want to see it, go here.back view
the back, all super short and layered

My hairstylist said my hair was “fun to cut.” Apparently, nobody likes fun hair cuts anymore - all one length bobs and shit. Not me! If I’m going to shell out $30, make me look FUN!Note that I’m still doing the reddish color. I should take a poll: keep it this color, or go back to blonde for the summer?***********************
kaufen Sie Ihre Schokolade anderwohin!

I did a couple of favors for our Lab Goddess, driving her and her husband and son to and from the airport this week while they visted family in Germany. My thank you was some german chocolate. Mmmmm…tasty!

german chocolate

The bag on the right are rum truffles. And OH MY GOD, ARE THEY STRONG. Of course, that hasn’t stopped me from eating a couple. The chocolate car is apparently a popular car in Germany. the box says “Heilemann Confiserie.” Anyway, I’ll bet it’s pretty tasty.Lab Goddess said she REALLY wanted to buy the chocolate for me from some really gourmet bakery and chocolate store, but was in danger of being thrown OUT for even DARING to ask if they had any chocolates that didn’t contain nuts. (If you will remember, I have a severe nut allergy. A french chocolate put me in the emergency room once. STUPID FRENCH!). They were really rude about it, and informed her that she would have to wait until MONDAY when the person who made the chocolates came in. So screw that. She got me chocolates with readily available ingredient information somewhere else.What I have learned, then, is:

1. Nut allerigies are very rare in Europe

2. Germans take their chocolate VERY SERIOUSLY. I would make a soup nazi/chocolate nazi comparison joke here, except that I also know that Germany takes Nazi jokes VERY UNFAVORABLY. See, cause they HAD them over there, and it didn’t work out so well.

But the chocolates are nut free, and tasty. I will save the car for when Kev gets back (thursday), but those rum truffles are FAIR GAME!

LSC

Published Saturday, February 25, 2006 in daily, misc, photos and conversations. 0 Comments

More conversations…

ESC: did you see my post about the oral hygeine order?

Kev: yeah.

ESC: Most people seem to floss AFTER brushing. then some weirdos brush again, but HA! I am RIGHT!

Kev: I’m still going to do it my way. Plus, maybe all those people who commented are wrong.

ESC: no. no…just you.

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watching the news about Cheryl Crow

ESC: ohh, that’s sad. She’s had a rough couple of months

Kev: how come?

ESC: She just broke up with Lance Armstrong.

Kev: oh yeah.

ESC: oh! maybe this will get them back together! He has one ball, and she’ll have one boob! It’ll be perfect!

Kev: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! You are so fucking MORBID!

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very very quiet

I have become the “Lonely Science Chick” as Kev has gone to visit his family for a few days. We were supposed to go together for the weekend, but the memorial service for our choir director’s partner was this morning, and I had a dematology clinic appointment that I had forgotten about (they only do them twice a month at the student clinic, so if you have to reschedule, expect a two to three month wait).

Kev decided to go anyway - it’s his mom’s birthday - and then stay a few extra days. She needs a new car, so he’s going to find one for her - hopefully a gently used Highlander with *LEATHER SEATS.* He’s found PLENTY of gently used highlanders she could have had by now, but she’s insisting on the leather seat. I find this hysterical, since what she’s driving around NOW is some ancient toyota that’s falling apart with fabric seats and a lovely gray peeling exterior.

out of guilt for not going, I knitted her a quickie funky wrap, which she will either LOVE or absolutely hate, but never tell me.

anyway…I am on my own. and instead of using my first day of psuedo-singleness to go out on the town, have a girls night, or even clean up around the condo…

I spent most of the afternoon napping. In my PJ’s. Now I’m watching the olympics*, still on the couch, and munching on a low fat, no sugar added Klondike bar.

ahhhhh…

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Half Nekkid…too late for thursday

I did have my spoiled moment Friday, as for the VERY FIRST TIME, I got a manicure and pedicure. This was my valentine’s gift from Kev. I was a total dork at first, staring blankly at them when I was asked “did you pick your colors yet?” umm…was I supposed to do that?

My nails were done by a very young, very effeminate, asian guy, with a very distracting zit on his chin. Seemed to be a family business - his mom and two sisters were also working there. I think the certificate on his bench said that his last name was “Van Cham,” so they were probably all from the lesser known Dutch section of Vietnam (or where ever).

Everyone was very nice and tolerant of my tard-ness. And of course, the experience was WONDERFUL and how long before I can do it AGAIN??? ahhhh….leg and foot massage….

The most impressive part was that he was able to find and paint my tiny, mutant toenails.

pedicure

I opted for a light light natural looking pink on my fingernails - maybe I’ll go funky some other time, but I didn’t want to have hot pink nails at the memorial service today.

manicure

Maybe for my wedding, I’ll get acrylic tips put on, and then I’ll SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT!

*Goddammit Bode, you are the biggest tard of all. SUCK IT!

shaking down my readers for information

Published Friday, February 24, 2006 in misc. 0 Comments

First off…maybe my readers can settle an argument…well…not an ARGUMENT. That’s too strong a word. Maybe solve the incessant picking-on that goes on between Kev and me.

PLEASE PLACE THE FOLLOWING IN THE CORRECT ORDER:

mouthwash
floss
brush

We argue…I mean pick on…each other ALL THE TIME about which way is correct. I ask YOU, the VOTING PUBLIC to help us out.

OK, now the shakedown for information. My car insurance is up in March, so I thought I shop around…AGAIN…for a better deal.

AllState is giving me a quote that is almost $200 less than what I’m paying now. What I’m paying NOW is $200 less than what I was paying with Progressive. So AllState is almost FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS less than AllState.

I am intrigued…

Yet concerned…

While I’d like to trust the friendly black guy/former president on “24″/deep soothing voiced announcer person they have for their commercials, I am suspicious of their low low rates.

They also quoted me a pretty low rate for insuring the contents of my condo and my ring, which if I buy from them, will give me even MORE of a discount on my car insurance.

And please don’t ask me to check out Geico or 1-800 Safe Auto - RIP…OFF…ARTISTS! Jeebus christos, just becaues you FLOOD THE TV AIRWAVES with commercials saying your prices are low, does NOT MEAN YOU ARE!

They aren’t. Don’t fall for it.

So…does anyone actually HAVE car insurance through AllState? Is it any good? Any complaints? Anything suspicous? I need to know before I make my final decision.

Thanks!

you’ve been WAITING FOR IT!

Published Monday, January 30, 2006 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

This is going to be a busy week for me. Lots of stuff in the lab to do, plus EvilScienceMom is coming to visit. OK…technically she’s EvilLibrarianMom. But that means much cleaning is to be done before wednesday. and then the delicate balance of working in the lab and then sneaking out early to do stuff with mom.

and what stuff will we be doing?

I will be looking for a WEDDING DRESS!

NOT this one:

Yikes! How does she get through doorways?

Also we will be experimenting with wedding invite designs. To save money, AND because I’m NOT having one of those 500 guest wedding extravaganzas, we’re making the invitations. And probably putting together a guest list. hoo-ray. The obscure cousins and great uncles come out of the woodwork.

Oh well, as long as they send presents…

I’m such a bitch!

So on to the point….as I will be bery bery busy this week, and probably neglecting my blog somewhat, I think now is a good time for another installment of ASK THE EVILS!

You can ask any question you want of me or Kev. You can ask for advice! Further details on juicy stories! Opinions on world political events! Anything! Ask away! You have all week. Probably longer - ESM doesn’t leave until next tuesday. So have fun, folks!

OK, I lied

Published Friday, January 13, 2006 in rants, relationship/sex, misc, blogging and science!. 0 Comments

I lied in my comments in the last post. I did have some time to tweak around my template. of course, I SHOULD have used that time to knit. Or clean. But something like that just eats at me. TEMPLATE PROBLEMS! POOR, DEPRIVED READERS WHO CAN’T VIEW MY BLOG PROPERLY!

I am nothing but a fan whore.

So I tweaked. New people and regulars who had trouble before - please let me know how it looks. The banner at the top looks weird in IE, but I’m not sure what to do about it. And if you have 800 x 600 screen resolution….well…good luck.

**********************
and boy howdy, if I thought the place I looked at yesterday was expensive…today’s was even more. Yikes! It’s a beautiful venue for a reception…but I think it’s too pricey. Plus no attached hotel for drunken friends.

And no comped hotel room for the bride and groom….I mean….COME ON!


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Enough of that.

Miserable week in science.

There is construction work going on in our hallway - they’re renovating the lab space adjacent to ours. They’re also doing something funky to the ventilation, and on tuesday, we had some kind of weird wind tunnel effect when our front door was open. The pressure would actually prevent the door from closing, and we had a strong breeze blowing through the lab.

Carrying construction dust.

Over the media plates I was using for my experiment.

Of the 300 plates I used in my experiment…I would say that 270 of them were complete covered in…NOT beautiful and perfectly round and happy yeast colonies…but A SOLID LAWN OF WHITE FUZZ.

contaminated. I would suspect it was the water, but there were a few plates unscathed. Must have been the air flow bringing in dirty air from next door. GODDAMIT!!! A waste of a week. Nothing was usable. Even the few left clean don’t help me.

Also a bad week in science in general. EVERYONE is talking about the scandal in Korea. We have a Korean post-doc in the lab, and she’s REALLY taking it hard. Not that we’re disappointed that there aren’t any cloned stem cells…but the fact that they LIED! and SO MUCH other unethical stuff - coercing female techs in the lab into giving up their eggs…ugh. And right now…SCIENCE DOESN’T NEED THIS! Science is already in the limelight for the whole evolution thing. We’re gaining ground there. But this puts EVERYONE’S credibility in question.

not that we aren’t perfectly aware that there are certain labs (which shall be unnamed here, don’t wanna get Dooced) that have stretched their data a little thin. Made sweeping conclusions on flimsy results, and only got published because they’re in the national academy, or know someone on the editorial board.

But something THIS huge hurts us all. I can’t even believe they thought they would get away with it! CLONED HUMAN STEM CELLS?? SURELY NO ONE WILL DOUBLE CHECK THAT!

And then there is the tool from University of Pittsburgh who, once the scandal broke, requested that his name be removed from the paper.

What a jackass. If your NAME is on a paper, you’d better be DAMNED sure that you were actively involved in confirming results, you’ve gone over the date critically, and are sure that the conclusions are solid. That’s why your name is on the paper, even if you didn’t personally do the work. You were consulted. You gave opinion.

If you FAILED to do any of this, and just decided that it would REALLY inflate your ego and boost your career to have your name on a GROUNDBREAKING paper, and you didn’t do your homework…

tough shit. You dug your own grave there. and it’s POOR FORM to all of a sudden say “oohhhh…I don’t want my name associated with this scandal.” You go down with the ship, asswipe.

But that’s just my opinion.

**************
And ummm…for those that came over here from Erosblog looking for more sex posts…

ummm….

boobies?

sorry. my blog isn’t consistantly naughty. it isn’t consitantly anything.

tis the season for work satisfaction

Published Thursday, December 22, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

clicky here for music

I know that the NYC transit workers are going back to work, but I thought I’d remind everyone that they aren’t the ONLY ones who are unsatisfied with their work this time of year.

Elf’s lament

I’m a man of reason, and they say “’tis the season to be jolly”
But it’s folly when you volley for position

Never in existence has there been such a resistance
To ideas meant to free us
If you could see us, then you’d listen

Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages
There’s no union
We’re only through when we outdo the competition

I make toys, but I’ve got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There’s a list for who’s been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

A full indentured servitude can reflect on one’s attitude
But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous

Absurd though it may seem, you know, I’ve heard there’s even been illegal doping
And though we’re coping, I just hope it’s not contagious

You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement
But when thrown into the moment, we just don’t seem so courageous

I make toys, but I’ve got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There’s a list for who’s been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

You look at yourself
You’re an elf
And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories
Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you aren’t just happy making
Crappy little gizmos
Every kid knows they’ll just throw this stuff away

We’re used to repetition, so we drew up a petition
We, the undersigned, feel undermined
Let’s redefine “employment”

We know that we’ve got leverage, so we’ll hand the fat man a beverage
And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment

It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow
He may thunder, but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went

I make toys, but I’ve got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There’s a list for who’s been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price
Naughty or nice, but consider the price
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf.

temporary lack of blogging time

Published Tuesday, December 20, 2005 in relationship/sex, misc and blogging. 0 Comments

Really, I am too busy to blog. WAY to busy.

yep.

shouldn’t be blogging.

at all.

nope.

also, while I have a few ideas rattling around up there (”conversations with Jeeeeesus about the war on christmas,” “our post-docs bizzare party experience,” “more damn pictures of stuff I’m knitting and baking,” etc, etc), none of them want to come out of my fingers, on to the keyboard, to make a coherent post. But then again, when have my posts ever been coherent? Never stops you people!

blowjobs!

buttsecks!

see? you people will read anything.

anyway, I really am swamped. I’m struggling to finish two scarves and do some last minute baking. and I have mentioned the christmas cards? NOT A ONE FINISHED! Nothing is mailed yet. I am such a slacker. And instead of attending to those things…I am blogging. Well, I do have white chocolate cherry cookie bars in the oven…so I am doing SOMETHING useful.

Last night I intended to be useful, but instead Kev decided that a MUCH better use of my time was to get a thoroughly intense session of hot monkey sex.

on the couch.

So think of THAT if any of you visit me and sit on my couch.

And the person I bought the couch from occasionally reads this blog. And has sat on it since I took ownership of it. heheheheheheheeee!

I got off topic.

What was my topic? Oh yeah, how I am too busy to blog.

Yep.

sleeeeepy

Published Friday, December 16, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

the only reason I am at work right now is that our lab’s christmas party is tonight, and it will be kick-ass. I am SO FRIGGIN’ TIRED!

And I left work EARLY yesterday! Not to goof around, though.

For the party, we always do a white elephant gift exchange. If you are not familiar with the concept, what we do it buy the funniest, tackiest, most horrifying gift we can find for $5 or less, wrap it up pretty, and put it under Boss lady’s christmas tree. Then we all draw numbers from a hat, and starting with #1, pick presents. Then #2 can pick a wrapped present, or steal #1’s gift, making THEM pick a new present.

It is hysterical. Especially with people’s kids there. The kids LOVE this. I had to pick up two gifts, since Kev and I will both be participating. I think I might have outdone myself this year, and I should probably go apologize to boss lady in advance. You see, she has a daughter who, for some reason, always ends up with at least one of the gifts that we bring. Usually both, because one of her brothers will get the other one and just give it to her because SHE WANTS IT SOOO BADLY! It’s like we are polar opposites on the horrifyingly tacky spectrum.

This year I got:

a stuffed monkey that wraps around your neck via velcro, and when you squeeze his paw, he wiggles and vibrates and makes monkey chatterning noises, all for just a bit longer than neccessary.

a…how do I describe this? You know one of those dressmakers’s fitting dummies? OK, picture a tiny one…covered in black satiny fabric with pink polka dots and trimmed with fluffy pink feathers…oh, and it’s a LAMP.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Love it.

So after finding THOSE gems and a quick stop at chick fil a (mmmm…chickin’), I went to my hair appointment. Remember, this was a new place for me, so NEVERWRACKING! It did seem like one of those places I wasn’t quite cool enough to be in, but everyone was really nice. The guy that cut my hair was WONDERFUL, and very funny. He did a great job, too! Maybe I’ll post pics later - I need to redo my dye job, too. and you know how sometimes in a nice salon, someone will come around and offer you some water, green tea, etc? Well, in the middle of my appointment, a woman came around and offered me…a COSMIPOLITAN.

awesome. I was tipsy for the next hour. Nothing like a drunken haircut!

Then down the road to my Local Yarn Store (or LYS, for those in the “know”) for the monthly Stitch and Bitch. Fun! Got a lot accomplished, including starting and ALMOST finishing a gift for little Lyric, aka “fuzzbeast.”

Then to Kroger to pick up some fresh herbs and then HOME, just before 10pm, so I can make the veggie dish (with fresh herbs) that I’m bringing to the party tonight.

So…I got to be last night around 2am.

zzzzzz….huh? wha?

Fortunately, I don’t have much to do today. Boss lady is at home, preparing her house for the party, so I can goof around a bit…(hehehe.. A BIT, like I don’t do that on days when she IS here).

crock pot delight

Published Wednesday, December 14, 2005 in misc, food and conversations. 0 Comments

I should post this on my recipe site, but I’m too lazy to try to figure out amounts. This morning, I mixed chicken broth, soy sauce, lime and orange juices, ketchup, garlic, ginger, and brown sugar, and poured it all over chicken legs in the crock pot and let it cook all day.

OH MY GOD! The chicken pretty much fell off the bones when we tried to tong it out of the pot, but served over rice with a side of snow peas…mmmm…so good!

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blogger bitching

why has blogger taken away the timestamp editor? I NEED TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE DATES ON MY POSTS! It’s how I organize my recipe site. DAMMIT! so STUPID! WHY DID THEY DO THIS????

***********************
please go away forever

Why is Howard Stern still relevant? Seriously, I don’t understand his popularity. HE INTERVIEWS STRIPPERS AND PORN STARS…EVERY DAY. While this may make him some kind of hero to guys, please, everyone, stop acting like he is at all socially relevant. He is NOT.

***********************
say this over and over again all day, for fun!

Artificial!

Retractable!

Foreskin! (probably not safe for work)

and….THERE IS A VERY INFORMATIVE VIDEO!!!

Kev told me that I did not NEED to watch an informative video on the foreskin…I am HOME SCHOOLED!

another favorite (yet unrelated) Kevinism- “Emeril could probably squat on top of the counter and take a shit, and those people will STILL scream and applaud like crazy”

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email correspondance…or “what I do instead of work”

from Kev: VEGETARIAN - Ancient Indian word meaning “poor hunter”.

with Julie:

me - the myserious bump on my neck was NOT, in fact, polio. It was an ingrown hair. which Kev popped and dug out for me. and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is TRUE LOVE.

Julie - But would he have popped it and dug it out for you if it were on your ASS? I think THAT is true love. ;)

Me - uummmm…yeah. we’ve both done that for each other.

wove….TWWOOOO wove…

Julie - Leads to Mawwiage. ;)

Me - Mawwiage is what bwings us hew today

know what I hate worse than ants??

Published Monday, December 12, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

mondays. bleah.

*************
sweet Jane St. Clair

We have a grad student doing a rotation in our lab who’s very sweet, and her name is Jane. Now I can’t get that damned song out of my head every time I say her name.

Jaaaaaaaaaaaaane, divided, but I can’t decide what side I’m on
Jaaaaaaaaaaaaane decided only cowards stay, while traitors run

************
hypochondriac alert

I have a painful small bump on the back left side of my neck. I can’t see it in a mirror, and I’m not desperate enough to have someone in the lab check it out for me. It’s most likely a zit, but because it’s monday and I hate it here right now, I’m going to tell myself it’s malignant cancer which has already spread all over my body, with no cure.

Or it’s polio. mmmm…sweet polio.

Hey ESC, that’s not funny, my MOM has polio.

Your mom IS polio. Shut up.

*****************
lab bitch

I hate to be the lab bitch, but seriously…

Last week, someone noticed that our broken glass disposal box was gone. Everyone was amazed…who would steal it? It was almost full, anyway!

The thing is, these are just disposable cardboard boxes. when they are full of broken glass, you seal them up and take them down to the facility that disposes of broken glass. We have a STACK of extra boxes that you just fold together to make a NEW broken glass disposal box.

But for a WEEK, while everyone discussed the fact that it got stolen, NO ONE GOT OUT AND PUT TOGETHER A NEW DAMN BOX!

Guess who had to do it?

yeah, that’s right. Jane found some broken tubes and needed a place to put them. Since she is a newbie, it fell to ME TO DO IT!

dammit. Those things are a pain to wrestle with.

got nuthin’

Published Friday, December 2, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Later tonight I’ll post pictures of yarn and complete projects, which I assume will be boring for most of you.

Wish I had some exciting sex romp story for you, but Kev’s been feeling a little under the weather this week. He says he feels better today, so I’m hopeful for tonight.

Also added fun tonight: I’m trying to clean out my freezer a bit, to make room for christmas cookies. So I removed two aluminul foiled mystery meats! poorly labeled! WHAT ARE THEY??? who knows! but they are what’s for dinner tonight! hooray!

Soooo….in the meantime, I guess…

LLAMA TIME!

 

adopt a pet thing stolen from SSB

more OUTRAGEOUS LLAMA LINKS!

the llama llama duck song

a naked dancing llama gives you advice

the llama butchers

grumpy llama - with terrible greeting cards!

all about the llama

hey, watch out for that berserk male llama!

learn more about BMS

buy a llama of you very own!

too funny

Published Wednesday, November 30, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

In light of our recent little addition to blogville, I thought this was HYSTERICAL!

I DON’T KNOWWHAT THE BIG DEAL ABOUT HAVINGA BABY IS

HAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

Time to smile on tuesday

Published Tuesday, November 22, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Some things keeping me entertained today:

from BoingBoing:

Super Mario on the Marimba

Pat Robertson, Satanist

The Fatal Consequences of Masturbation

FSM Dildo Cozy

From Serra:

Yoda T-shirt

FOR MEEEE! (just came in today)

Beaker T-shirt

Special request

OK, this is a little late for thanksgiving stuff, but it is the holiday season. And I want you favorite holiday recipes! Side dishes, main dishes, appetizers, DRINKS and WHATEVER it is that you throw together for your favorite holiday tradition. Post it on my recipe site (if you are a member) or email it to me at evilsciencechick (at) gmail (dot) com and I’ll post it. My favs will be posted at my much neglected “recipe of the day” on my sidebar.

backing off now

Published Wednesday, November 16, 2005 in rants, craftiness and misc. 0 Comments

OK, I think I scared some people with that last post, because after the initial influx of comments…no one wanted to poke it with a stick.

Point taken.

On to happier topics.

knitting news

I finished my Chullo hat! Um…it’s a little big. With some helpful advice from other knitting bloggers, I attempted to shrink it. which was sort of effective. It’s not as long…but it still slips over my eyes a bit. So when it’s dry I might have to resort to sewing in elastic, which should go SO SMOOTHLY because we all know how easily things go for me the FIRST TIME I TRY THEM. Which is how I ended up with a huge hat IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Pictures up later tonight.

Speaking of yarn, my latest order of yarny goodness arrived in the mail today. Ohhhh…how I love the smell of fresh yarn in the morning. Included is yarn for a hat for Kev. Last year I made him a scarf, and he didnt’ break up with me. I’m hoping that means we’re immune to the “knitting for the boyfriend curse,” but I’m tempting fate again with a hat. It’s neccessary though, because boy does not own a warm hat, and he’ll be in PITTSBURGH for christmas! His kissable shiny head will be cold! I must to action!

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mini rant

If you are waiting at a red light, and you’re maybe the third or forth car back, and the light turns green, and everyone in front of you drives off, and you pull up to the green light, stop, and THEN put on your left turn signal….

you are a complete asshole and I hate you.

that is all.

*********************
writing science sucks

God, it’s like throwing up words no one wants to read, let alone me. I need to get this paper done! Why is it taking me so long??? I SUCK! SUUUUUCK!

***********************
band geek flashbacks

So have I ever mentioned that I was a total band geek? yeah. You’re all shocked, I can tell. I played trombone. Marching, jazz and concert band in high school, and a small concert band in college (where for a year I was the only trombone player). God, that was so much fun. BAND, BABY! And if my friend Jen happens to read this…HEY JEN! OH MY GOD, HOW MUCH FUN DID WE HAVE??? REMEMBER THE DONUT THEORY OF LIFE? AND WHEN THE OLDER GUYS STUCK MAXI PADS ON TOM’S BACK AND LOCKED HIM IN THE GIRLS ROOM? AND FAT ANKLES??? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Oh shit…those were great times.

I’ve had one or two opportunities to play since moving to Atlanta. I toyed around the idea of playing for the school’s orchestra, but decided against it because I didn’t think I’d have enough time to make the commitment. But you know….back in the DAY…I was pretty good. *cough*

So last week in choir practice we sang a new song that had some instrument accompanyment written in, including a trombone part. Sometimes our director will hire players, but usually only for our big services of music, where we sing the whole service. So I looked over the part, saw if I could remember the slide positions (most of them, I think), and decided to remind our director of my past life.

He seemed enthused about the idea, and told me to bring my trombone to our next rehearsal. That’s tonight. So last night I decided to get out my trombone, clean it up, make sure everything is well lubed (hehehehe) and then proceeded to annoy my neighbors and freak out Sadie by playing a few notes.

It came back to me…slowly. My chops are SO out of shape. I could remember half of an old fight song, some scales. Remembering how tightly I need to “buzz” my lips for certain notes was difficult.

Kev got a kick out of it. I showed him how to hold it and how to “buzz” to make the sounds. He happily played some loud notes and the fun “WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH” down the slide sound that everyone who picks up a trombone for the first time does.

Hopefully I won’t embarass myself tonight. If anything, I’ll come home with sexy swollen lips that Kev won’t be able to resist ;)

up too late picture post

Published Saturday, November 5, 2005 in craftiness, misc and photos. 0 Comments

Got some new and overdue pics to post…randomly.

Remember my felty mule shoes I talked about the other day? here they are! Clicky clicky to make biggie biggie.

felty shoes

OK Sloth, go change your underwear.

***Look ma! JAZZ HANDS! No silly! it’s just my fingerless mittens, done!

fingerless mittens DONE!

*****this is the cocktail monkey bag from knitty. It’s made from hemp cord, which is a little more difficult to work with than regular yarn. It’s a little darker than it appears in this pic - the flash washed it out a bit. It’s a pain in the BUTT to keep all those needles from falling out!

cocktail monkey bag

******My most recent frivolous yarn splurge - baby alpaca. I bought it under the guise of making something from my dad, but as soon as I walked out of the store, I decided it wasn’t masculine enough. DARN! Guess I’ll keep it and make something for ME! Like a nice warm hat!

baby alpaca

fun fact: I’m in my pj’s in that pic above. The best sleepwear ever: a Pittsburgh Pirates nightshirt, circa early 90’s. The tshirt material is worn soft after years of wear, and the Pirates logo on the front is almost illegible. Just how old is it? On the front is a pic of a catcher tagging a runner out at home. I’m pretty sure that the catcher is Mike Levallier (sp?). I *heart* this nightshirt!

Dilemma

Published Friday, November 4, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Alleve helps the cramps, but not the headache.

Excedrin helps the headache, but not the cramps.

WHICH ONE TO TAKE??????

alleve. cramps always win.

the good news? well, getting my period is ALWAYS good news. Yay not pregnant!

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Brace yourself

Kev and I are taking…are you ready for this? a CHEESE MAKING CLASS tomorrow! A GOAT cheese making class!

I shit you not.

Oh yes, there will be pictures and stories.

and cheeeeese. lots of cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

am I RIGHT ladies?

Published Wednesday, November 2, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Can’t…..stop….laughing….tears…streaming….snot….
flowing….wheezing…can’t breath!

this.

don’t be eating when you read that.

mini-bites

Published Wednesday, November 2, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Must less ranty today. Blogger is still being so-so…but I can handle that.

I’m wearing my felty mule shoes today. Sloth will probaby crap herself because of their hideousness, but I LOVE THEM! LIKE WEARING SLIPPERS TO WORK! Ahhhhhh….

Today I learned that kecap manis is sweet soy sauce. I bought a very cool book called “delicious noodles” for $3 at Borders last week. It is full of yummy asian noodle dishes (HA!) and very strange ingredients. God bless google. A lot of this stuff I’m pretty sure I will have to go to an actual asian market for - not even my beloved farmer’s market carries some of this stuff.

I finished the fingerless mittens, too. Just in time for the weather to get warm again. OF COURSE! But as SOON as that thermometer dips, baby…my palms and wrists are going to be COZY WARM!

Free lunch with a speaker today…ahhh…the joys of free lunch for a grad student. I don’t even care what kind of food…FREE, BABY!

I got me a MDG!

Published Tuesday, October 25, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Just saw a commercial for the International School of Pet Design. How fancy! How international! How sophisticated!

what do you learn there?

Dog grooming.

frrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiday!

Published Friday, October 21, 2005 in daily, misc and science!. 0 Comments

random sadie pic

dude, I'm trying to sleep, here!

fun with data!

The two isolates that were behaving themselves last week are now acting totally screwy. The isolates that are acting not so screwy, give me the exact opposite results that I got last week.

Nothing I do is ever straightforward. Why the hell did I go into science???

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fun underwear friday!

red lacey boy-cut. what are YOU wearing?

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ABBA and Vikings and Trolls! OH MY!

Tomorrow, Kev and I are DEFINATELY going to this. How wonderfully campy! and I’m a sucker for fun festival food. Swedish meatballs! Sweet!

And there will be pictures. Oh my yes…there will be pictures.

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Blogger bitching

Is anyone else having trouble saving posts as drafts? Thank god “recover post” is working.

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upgrade my flower, biotech!

So at my curves, there is a wall of laminated paper “flowers.” everyone has a flower with their name on it. What kind of flower you get depends on how far along you are. Previously, I was in the 10-25 points group, which is a pink tulip. The step above that is an orange…daisy-esque flower (the kind of flower an 8 year old girl draws). So imagine my disappointment when I walk in and see my name and “17.5″ on the same crappy pink tulip it was on last week! FUCKERS! 36.5, BEEEEEOOOTCH!

So yeah, I made them change it. At least they were apologetic about it.

The positive flower re-enforcements will be sparce from now on, though. The next step up is at 50 points - a reddish-purple rose. And then at 100, you get a white lilly. There’s only a few purple roses, and even fewer lillies.

But dammit…I WANTED MY FLOWER! SO ALL MAY SEE AND BE AMAZED!

My life is so small…

boo’s and yay’s

Published Monday, October 10, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

boo: I got jury duty

yay: I get a year deferment since I’m a graduate student.

boo: There’s a wood screw in my front tire,. which explains why it’s kept losing air for the past few weeks.

yay: Kev let me take his car while he takes mine to Sam’s club to be repaired (it’s free for me there)

boo: it’s columbus day, and Sam’s club is packed. Kev gets frustrated at the wait and leaves.

boo: the data I got from last weeks experiment is confusing. If I had done 2 isolates instead of 4, it wouldn’t have been. this is what I get for being thorough.

boo: I have to give a seminar on thursday, and really need to figure out this data before then!

boo: I can’t figure out a good way to edit my talk down to 25 minutes worth of stuff, without leaving out a whole bunch of background, which without, will end up confusing people

yay: people are usually confused at my talks anyway, due to the nature of my research, so I won’t get too many questions.

yay: last night…hehehe…ummm…last night was…yeah. last night was VERY good…

boo: icky weather today

yay: I think my nails might be a little stronger….

UPDATE yay: Kev found another Sam’s club that didn’t have a 3 hour wait, so now my tires are patched, fully inflated, and rotated. sweet!

a day of gauze ***update****

Published Wednesday, September 21, 2005 in misc, photos and TMI. 2 Comments

very ouchy today. but I picked up some CVS triple-antibiotic PLUS pain killer (sweet!) today, as well as the NON-STICK gauze and some medical tape. I am a ONE WOMAN WALKING 1ST AID KIT, BITCH!

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blog news

I replaced my “disturbing searches” section on my side bar with an “esc recommends” with some of my fav links. Got a link to suggest? PUT IT ON YOUR OWN BLOG, DAMMIT! no, seriously, just email it to me (CLICK THE EMAIL BUTTON! IT’S RIGHT UP THERE ON THE SIDEBAR! I DESIGNED IT MYSELF AND EVERYTHING!).

Hate my recommendations? I don’t care! :)

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this one goes out to all the truly geeky out there

I have a Toshiba e355 Pocket PC which I really like, but I’m not getting as much use out of as I’d hoped. What would REALLY help is an internet connection, but I’m not paying to modem up that sucka. What I WANT is to give wireless capability to it, so I can use it at home, or anywhere I can pick up wifi.

The only pda wifi card I can find out there is a Sandisk…which happens to NOT be compatable with the e355 model. bitches.

My idea is to purchase a USB adaptor cord, and then get a USB wireless plug. But I’m not sure if there’s Pocket PC software to make that possible. Are there ANY uber-geeks out there that have any solutions? And no, “get another/better pda” is NOT an option! I want to keep this an “under $50″ expense.

Any ideas? If you DON’T know, you don’t have to guess, or whatever. I’m perfectly capable of doing the hours of google searches myself. I’m just being somewhat lazy, and hoping someone out there already figured this shit out.

************UPDATE! WARNING! NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!******************

I’ve got pics of my stupidity wounds. I’ll post them below, but DON’T LOOK and then BITCH ABOUT “EWWWW, GROSS, WHY DID YOU POST THESE??” If you dont’ want to see them, don’t look!

OK?

are you sure???

alright then…

my thigh

thigh

and my foot

callus

Grody, no?OK, a la boingboing, I will leave you with a “unicorn chaser”

happy working girl

Published Friday, September 16, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

It is a beautiful thing to enjoy work again.

:)

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friday rant

Attention musicians. I sort of understand the concept of the “hidden” track on your cd’s. It’s a nice little bonus for your fans, and you get to throw in your funky experimental stuff that maybe your label thinks might be a little avant-guard for the main cd. this is fine.

But PLEASE don’t put 10 FUCKING MINUTES OF BLANK AIR in between the last song and your dirty little secret. It’s REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING….especially on my mini, where I’m left wondering if my battery’s dead, or if I just had a stroke.

Keep it a minute or less.

Thank you.

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busy busy busy

Tonight…if I get out of work on time, we’re meeting some friends at the Raaaaaging Burrito (woohoo!) and then going to see a concert at a small venue in Decatur that I’ve never been to before but I’ve heard it’s pretty cool.

***UPDATE***
alright, check the comments for her name (I’m avoiding google searches) Here is one of my fav songs.

Tomorrow I need to WORK OUT (I haven’t gotten to Curves all week! I can FEEL my muscles atrophying!), get to the lab for a bit, then hopefully I’ll get a call from a hung over Julie, and make plans. It will involve drinking. And knitting. And it will ROCK!

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speaking of knitting

I “re”felted my tote bag. I’ll post pics when it’s dry. It definately shrunk some more, but the felting it a lot more even. Yay!

post of frothy rage and some random bits

Published Wednesday, September 14, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Today really REALLY sucked. Let’s not talk about today.

Bag lady
My bag was a big hit….BUT…I’m a little concerned. The felting isn’t as even as I had hoped it would be. The top and bottom are spot on, but the middle section is still not there. Can I re-felt? Does anyone know? KNITTER POWERS, ACTIVATE!

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Whatever I WANT to do! GOSH!
How lame and behind the times am I? Kev and I finally saw Napoleon Dynamite tonight. IDIOT! GOSH!

A friend of mine told me that we wouldn’t really laugh while watching it, but as soon as it was over, we’d start cracking up. This was true.

“You know, there’s like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bo staff.”

BWAAHAHAHAHA!

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Why don’t you go fuck yourself?
Anyone else annoyed by those “have a happy period” commercials? The only time I’ve ever been happy about my period is when I was a little bit worried that I wasn’t going to GET one. You think a PAD is going to make me happy??? NOT UNLESS IT COMES WITH PERCOCET, BITCH!

A lot of commercials are irritating me these days. There’s some kind of painkiller war going on. I hate the one with the EXTREME closeup of the woman’s face, spreading paranoia that ibuprofen could be EATING YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT! YOU WOULDN’T KNOW! YOU’D DROP DEAD ONE DAY! OH MY GOD! FUCKING IBUPROFEN!!!! So even though it worked perfectly well, she switched to tylanol, which couldn’t pain kill it’s way out of a tissue. Leave me and my stomach dissolving ibuprofen and aleeve alone.

The commercial I love above all others is the AARP ad with Ping. The guy who clones himself. YES! I WOULD LIKE A PING OF MY VERY OWN! How cute is Ping? All commercials should have Ping in them!

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random computer bugs
this is weird…my cut and paste don’t work…UNLESS I open up the clipboard. Just by having it open, I can ctrl-C and ctrl-V. But next time I reboot, it won’t work again, and I’ll have to open up the clipboard.

Anyone know anything about this? WHY DOES MY LAPTOP GET WEIRDO BUGS???

(cause it’s CHEAP, ESC! YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR!)

shut up. GOSH!

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serenity now
There was a lot of rage in this post.

So let’s all just relaaaaxxx…with a Sadie pic! This is what Sadie does while I’m sitting on the couch on my laptop.

are you done yet?OK…are you done yet??? It’s “me” time now!

worms of mass destruction

Published Monday, September 12, 2005 in dog and misc. 0 Comments

My tote bag is almost done. I’m halfway through the second strap for it. The bag itself is mega-huge. I keep forgetting to take a picture of it - I’ll have to do “before/after” with the felting process.

I realized that I am OUT of heartworm medication…ack! Sadie’s gone over a week without it! But I have nooo budget for paying a huge amount at the vets for it. So I’m buying the generic version, apparently illegally, from a web site called “PetShed.” Illegal, it seems, because buying prescription drugs from other countries, even drugs for your pet, is still apparently frowned upon. PetShed is in Australia. HI AUSTRALIA! THANK YOU FOR YOUR CHEAP, GENERIC, HEARTGUARD! Even with shipping, it costs less than half what I’d pay at the vet.

And WHY IS HEARTGUARD STILL A PRESCRIPTION??? I can get Frontline flea medicine, which is MUCH MUCH DEADLIER WHEN MISUSED without a prescription. I know heartguard isn’t deadly because once Sadie got into the cabinet I store all her stuff in and ate 4 months worth of the stuff. oooo…I was PISSED! But the emergency vet lady told me on the phone to not worry unless she starts showing unusual symptoms. LIKE WHAT? UNUSUALLY RESISTANT TO HEARTWORM???? Stupid expensive dog.

SORRY SADIE! I LOVE YOU!

High Five!

anyway, we’ll see if I get raided by Homeland security. It’s not like they’re doing anything ELSE useful. I’VE GOT MEDICINE OF HEARTWORM MASS DESTRUCTION! QUICK! LOCATE MY LIBRARY BOOK HISTORY!

Speaking of wastes of space…BUH-BYE, DUMBASS! I think the more appropriate headline would use “dangerously incompetant” instead of “embattled,” but then that’s just my opinion.

Wow, I’ve got no real coherent thoughts today. Except an idea from the comments in Sloth’s site about making fuzzy blog-friend bracelet. Yes…yes…excellent. I’LL MAKE MEEEEELLLIIOOONNS! MUAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

step one: knit bracelets

step two: sharks with lasers

step three: WORLD DOMINATION! (ooorrrrr…profit. either one would be good, really)

reeetreeeeeeat!

Published Saturday, September 10, 2005 in daily, misc and food. 1 Comment

The retreat was fun! Got there around 5:30 with my bottle of wine and chocolate cake. Sat and drank and munched while everyone trickled in.

Can I just say OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT CAKE IS THE BEST GODDAMNED CAKE I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE!!!!! It was instant orgasm for everyone there. Beth, who was the reason I made the cake in the first place because of her gluten allergy, DEMANDED that I email her the recipe. I got lots of requests for it, actually. Later that night, a guy from another group staying at the calvin center tried a small piece and asked me to write out the recipe for him. I hope I got it right from memory, after a few glasses of wine! He has my email, so if I wrote something like “…then take the goat down to jiffy lube…” he can get in touch with me.

I posted the recipe here, and it’s featured in my “recipe of the day” in the sidebar. I strongly suggest you all go out and make it RIGHT NOW! It looks more complicated than it is. You don’t even need a fancy double boiler. Just do what I did - a pot of simmering water and a couple really big bowls. I am soooooo greatful to Sunni for the recipe, and will have to think of some very nice way of thanking her :)

Anyway, we played a couple of rounds of music and biblical jeapordy, which my team sucked at, but we still won quality prizes of rubber monster finger puppets and gold-esque adjustable rings. YOU ARE JEALOUS!

We stayed up WAY too late drinking and laughing and eating….lots of eating. Our new associate pastor was there with us, and I found out, disturbingly enough, that he’s YOUNGER THAN ME!!! I AM SOOO OOOOOLD!

Today was spent in rehearsals - we’ve started advent music! ack! holidays! I am clinging to summer with all my strength, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

I made friends with some geese on the lake. Literally. The started honking when Jess and I approached so we honked back. This either made them happy or seriously pissed them off (how can you tell with geese, really?) because they followed us around the lake. The gander got pretty close - close enough to bite at my hand. Stupid geese. It was funny, though, the more we honked back at them, the more interested in us they were.

ESC: the goose whisperer.

There was an evacuee family staying at the center. They had gotten out before the hurricane hit, but they had lost everything. It was a huge family. They were musicians, too, and had lost their instruments. What a perfect choir mission! We’re going to see what we can do for them. They were just the nicest people, and even though I didn’t get a chance to talk to them as much as some other people in the choir, I still got a big hug from the mother - I wanted to cry. I WANT TO DO MORE! Our church is also going to set up an area for a family. I signed up to help provide toiletries, bedding, clothing, etc. I have a ton of acrylic yarn laying around, I should start on an afghan!

insert non-awkward transition between two completely unrelated topics here

We signed up for broadband tonight - Best buy is running a sweet deal through comcast - with rebates, modem and install kit are free, plus you get a $50 best buy card (in the mail…poop!) and the service is only $20 a month for 6 months. Then goes up to basically what we’re paying for DSL now. Sooo…we’ll save some money and get faster internet. sweet. Kev will install it tomorrow. Surely there will be no difficulties….

I am lacking in sweaty hot monkey love. Tonight I will demand satisfaction. He must comply. COMPLY!

doooooomed

Published Wednesday, September 7, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Research is still pissing me off lately…all I can say is that my last 2d gel result had BETTER be a fluke, or I might just quit all together.

I AM NOT KIDDING!

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general health and well being

The past two evenings I’ve gotten a bad stomach ache. It goes away by morning. However THIS evening, I have a headache. My pain is mobile…and taunting me.

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stat spike

I've been erosblogged!

I knew as soon as I checked my stats today (yes, I DO check them!) that something was up. those are unique hits, so I knew it wasn’t one person obsessing (but don’t think I don’t KNOW WHO YOU ARE, PERVERT!)

I’ve been Erosblogged! Again!

Obviously, the glory hole castle isn’t as wildly popular as the anal sex post, but still…maybe I’ll get a few more readers out of this, like last time.

Welcome new readers! Come for the anal sex and random explicit castle ads…stay for the random ranting and confusing science jargon!

RAGE! RAAAAAGGGE!!!!

Published Tuesday, September 6, 2005 in rants, misc and conversations. 0 Comments

I am so fucking pissed off today. I was a raging evilsciencechick. I wanted to throw glassware across the room. I wanted to choke my advisor. I wanted to scream at her “YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY AND MAKING MY STAY HERE LONGER AND UNBEARABLE!!!!”

Instead, I said “No. No. I’m going to do it THIS way, first.”

I’m still too angry to go into any more detail. So instead I’ll blog about anything else.

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straggler questions

Nanner asks:
do you shave your hoo haw, if so how much, and what does Kevin prefer vs. what you prefer?

Yes, I do shave my hoo haw. It’s a topic near and dear to my heart, and I’m pretty sure I’ve irreversibly burned images into the brains of my real-life friends who occassionally read here with descriptions of my shaved hoo haw.

I shave off everything but a little triangle - a “dorito,” if you will, which I keep trimmed. Once Kev asked me to go au natural…but things just got a little too prickly down there. So Kev is happy with the trimmed look - also keeps things from tickling his nose…during…um…uhh…fun times.

Riz asks:
How long does it take before a vibrator wears out?

Good lord, I have no idea. I haven’t worn one out yet! Ummm…I know you’ve received one as a gift rather recently, and I would have to say that if it’s worn out already, either it was a cheap ass product…or…you really REALLY REALLY need a boyfriend!!!!

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opinion poll

thanks for making the first ever “ask the evils” a success! Now…I can just leave it be…OR I can make this a regular…say monthly…feature.

What say you, my loyal readers?

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weekend wrap up

We had a fun, but not so relaxing labor day weekend in ‘bama. I guess it was a “working” vacation. Saturday, Kev stayed at his mom’s and patched some leaks on her roof and the roof of the shed out back. I took Sadie and headed over to his sisters, where I WASHED THE HELL OUT OF MY CAR.

Have I ever mentioned my talent for detailing a car? yeah, I rock. Wash, polish, wax. I vacuumed. I used a special mitt to pick up dog hair. I armor-all’ed the dash and doors. Washed the windows. And finally sprayed the whole interior down with Febreeze.

My car is awesome.

my shiny car

you are jealous, and want me to do YOUR car. I will…for $60.

Our respective tasks took most of the afternoon, so we crashed pretty hard that evening.

Sunday morning, I awake bleary eyed, and emerge from my room with an energetic Sadie.

aside: I make Sadie sleep in my room when we’re there. Kev’s mom INSISTS on taking the couch, and Kev sleeps in her room. Sadie LOVES his mom, and wants to sleep in the living room with her. NO! good lord, the poor woman wouldn’t get any sleep. So I keep Sadie with me. And she displays her displeasure by NOT SLEEPING AT ALL and GLARING AT ME and making MOUTH SMACKING WET NOISES all night. Fucker. I just ignored her. I don’t think she slept more than 3 hours all weekend. Consequently, she’s only left her bed/crate for walks since we got back. And…nice…5 minutes ago she left to throw up a big chunk of grass. Thank you, Sadie. You are the gift that keeps on giving.

Kev’s mom was in the kitchen…cooking? I thought she didn’t cook anymore. She told me to go wake Kev, and then something something “biscuits.” Kev LOOOOOOVES his mom’s biscuits.

Kev was still asleep in bed. I crawled in with him, and spooned up against him.

me: your mom says it’s time to get up. I think she said something about biscuits.

kev: mfffmmmmmfmmfmmmm..biscuits….mmmffrrrrmm….

me: what was that?

Kev: mmmfmfmmm you’d better get in there and learn how to make them, woman.

me: I know how to make bicuits!!!

Kev: uh huh.

me: I DO! First you peel the paper off the tube until it pops open…

Kev: *grooooan*

me: then you take out the biscuits and put them on a baking sheet…

Kev: gaaaaaack! that’s not how you make biscuits, woman!

much tickling…but no nookie. mom’s down the hall, after all.

Kev’s mom made what is apparently a southern breakfast specialty: biscuits and chocolate gravy. Yes…chocolate gravy. It’s like a thick hot fudge sauce, but not quite as sweet. It was sinfully delicious…

More work on my car. My power steering had slowly been failing me, until my steering wheel creaked like a fat man getting out of bed. Kev took a look - the power steering fluid was black. That’s not right. That’s actually pretty bad. What the hell is up with my power steering????

So there’s no real easy way to do this. He drained it, added a special power steering cleaner, all while I sat behind the wheel, turning the car on and off, turning the wheel, etc. The system has to be flushed, too, so he poured fluid in, let it drain, then more fluid. In between I had to drive down the road to the high school parking lot and do figure-8’s. Yes, I felt RIDICULOUS! As I made the last figure-8 of my last trip, another car drove up and joined me. He rolled down the window.

“you lost?”

seriously, if I were lost, would I be doing figure-8s?

It was a lot of work, but now my steering is smooooooooth. Thanks, baby!

taking a break

and dude…is there ANYTHING hotter than a tired, dirty, greasy man, taking a break after working on YOUR car?

no. THERE IS NOT!

He even checked out his mom’s car.

Kev working on car

*drooooool*

umm..where was I?

Kev’s mom treated us to a steakhouse dinner that night. The next morning, Kev quickly changed my oil, and we headed out soon after lunch.

And THAT was our last hurrah! summer vacation.

I’m exhausted.

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quick knit note

I so want to make this.

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recipe request

This next weekend is the choir retreat. Which yes, SOUNDS lame, but really…it’s awesome. Much drinking and eating and games and fun will be had. Last year was a blast.

Here’s the deal: last year I made yummy brownies, which EVERYONE loved…everyone but Beth, who is allergic to gluten. ooops. And while she was very gracious about it, I know how left out I feel when someone brings some delicious treats to an occasion, chock full o’ nuts.

So…while I am perfectly capable of looking up some gluten-free recipes, I was just wondering if anyone out there in blogland has any good ones? Preferable a flourless chocolate torte-y kind of thing. Anything with chocolate. AND no nuts.

Email me your recipes at evilsciencechick at gmail dot com. I will post them on the recipe site, of course, and whoever sends in whichever one I choose to make for the retreat, will receive…ummm…a “special prize,” I guess. Something fun! PLUS, if that WASN’T ENOUGH…when everyone in the choir is all “ooooo…ESC this *whatever* is soooooo good!” I’ll reply with “well, it’s my good friend’s *your name here* recipe! aren’t they great??” And my choir will love you.

See? a special prize AND the adoration of a small, presbyterian choir. You can’t beat that with a stick.

The only rules are that you HAVE to have either made the recipe yourself, OR gotten the recipe from a friend, and you’ve actually tasted and approved of the recipe.

Soo…COMPLY!

Plenty of amenities…

Published Friday, September 2, 2005 in misc and links. 0 Comments

I know I said no posts until next week, but I just HAD to say some of your questions are cracking me up! Hooray! Plus I need to yank myself away from horrific hurricane damage. I think I’m actually making myself physically ill.

But first, a little amusement: found a link on madville of European castles for sale. One in Italy was only 500,000 euros! Hell, there are houses in Atlanta that probably cost more than that. For kicks, I checked out the features. Scroll down to “features-amenities.” 3rd column. second one down.

Now THERE’S a castle with amenities!

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You still have PLENTY of time to submit questions to “ask the evils.” I have informed the Kev that he will be assisting me with this. He didn’t look so thrilled. I may have to ply him with forbidden pleasures.

Darn.

So keep those questions coming! The dirtier and funnier the better! Anonymity will be respected! Remember, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people.

Don’t be stupid. Ask me a question.

…and now for something…

Published Thursday, September 1, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

..completely different.

I would love to change the mood here…but seriously, I got NUTHIN’! We’re headed to ‘bama tomorrow to spend the long weekend with Kev’s family. wooHOOO! More sex on the back of a 4-wheeler, baby! In the woods! With 3 dogs watching! Does it GET any more redneck? I DON’T THINK SO!

But today has been super busy in the lab, as I try to get things done so my lack of coming in this weekend won’t result in projects getting pushed back. AND I have a ton of things to get done today: workout, clean (I hate going away and coming back to a scuzzy house), clean out my car (while we’re there, Kev will be changing the oil and I want to give my car the full hand wash, polish, and wax it’s been deprived of for years. yes…I’m giving my car a hand job), give stinky Miss Sadie a bath, and…oh yeah…pack.

Soooo…I’m going to try an experiment. And if it works, maybe it will become a permanent feature. If it fails miserably, then we will never speak of this again.

In chatting with Jamie last night, she jokingly suggested that Kev and I should have a relationship advice column. HAHAHAHAHAAAA! I am SO NOT QUALIFIED! Also, I seem to have earned the title of “blogland’s resident anal sex expert,” and seriously…I have GOTTEN QUESTIONS! ABOUT ANAL SEX! Love it…just…love it.

So an “ask the evilsciencechick” might be fun…and I MIGHT be able to convince Kev…aka “evilcomputerguy” to chime in, too. So please specify if it’s a question for him, me, or both of us.

Sooo…in comments, in email, anonymously (since Sloth’s anonymous secret post was so popular and FANTASTIC!)…ask WHATEVER you want. Questions about relationships (no guarentees there), science (umm…none there either), my life…NO HOLDS BARRED! ask ANYTHING!

Of course, I retain the right to not answer.

And please, no questions that you ask just to piss people off, like “WHY DO YOU SUPPORT KILLING BABIES? HUH? WE SHOULD CALL YOU EVILBABYKILLER!” So shut up. And besides, babies are tasty and go well a side of mashed garlic taters and a nice Sauvignon Blanc.

mmmmm…babies….

As I will probably not post over the weekend, you have until….neeexxxxt…let’s say tuesday afternoon.

And again…if no one ask any questions, I will delete this post and deny all knowledge. DENY! EVEN UNDER TORTURE!

ooo…yes…torture….

tuesday tiddies

Published Tuesday, August 30, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Knit Owl

I thought, foolishly so, that by remaining “invisible” on yahoo IM that I would not be chatting with other time zones into all hours of the night, and therefore get to bed earlier.

Foolish mortal.

Now I KNIT! I KNIT INTO THE NIGHT!

Last night I was obsessed with getting to the third color on my tote bag. That means I’m 2/3 of the way done. What time did I get to the first row of green? 1:30am.

Seriously, I need help

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oddity

We have an autoclave that is shared by the 3 labs that occupy the “open lab design” here. Usually, the autoclaves smells like badly burnt sugar and dead things.

Today, it smells like vanilla.

Why? Who knows? But it smells like freshly baked cookies back there.

Later, I will ruin it by autoclaving my bag full of used yeasty plates.

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sad

another reason I was late this morning is because I was glued to the TV, watching the devastating aftermath of Katrina.

I had been hoping to visit New Orleans soon. It’s always been on my list of places that I really wanted to go. Kev and I had talked about it a while back…

But now…is it changed forever? Will New Orleans ever be the same?

And for all those affected, I know I can offer no consolation, but my prayers are with them all.

A few “fingers” made it through atlanta. Last night it brough thunder and rain. Today the wind whips through the trees, and large puffy clouds zip through the sky. I can’t believe that the origins of this cooling wind caused so much devastation

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Spaghetti inside

Buy a shirt from BoingBoing and support the National Center for Science Education (NCSE). (clicky the pic above)

What the hell is the Flying Spaghetti Monster? DO YOU LIVE IN A CAVE???

Origins here.

all 4 in one post…

Published Monday, August 29, 2005 in craftiness, relationship/sex, misc, science! and food. 0 Comments

knitting

I’ve had to learn continental style knitting for my latest project. I HATED IT…at first.

But now…NOW I…KNIT LIKE THE WIND!!!!

progress

I kick ass. Almost halfway done with the body of the tote bag…in only one weekend.

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science

the other 50% of my 2D gel blot didn’t pan out. DAMMIT! THAT WAS THE 50% I NEEDED! So I spend a good part of this weekend, when I wasn’t knitting, back in the lab, starting another 1st dimension.

We’re also planning to go to Alabama this weekend, which means I won’t be in the lab AND I’m taking labor day off.

I’m going to get “the look” from my advisor again.

*sigh*

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food

I feel a cooking slump coming on. Seriously, I’m just TIRED! I got Kev to take me out on friday (mmmmmm…thai noodle bowls…). Yesterday Kev made a rotisserie chicken, I made some side dishes (mashed taters and sauteed veggies).

Tonight….ugh. I picked up some hot dogs…now…they were QUALITY hot dogs, and we dressed them up with saurkraut and stuff. And HUGE slabs of juicey sweet watermelon. Mmmm…

Then Kev made pudding. mmmm…puddin’.

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sex

We’ve sort of forgotten about the sex toys lately. I don’t know why…we just haven’t used them as much as we used to.

Welll….Saturday night I discovered…via the help of a fun toy and a very enthusiastic Kev…that I could, if I wanted, sing soprano in the church choir instead of alto.

Though the conditions neccessary to repeat the circumstances would probably not be condusive to a prayerful church atmosphere. Technically, though..I was SORT of praying…

Speaking of church, I wore a skirt to church today. Nothing sexy, just a stretchy khaki knee-length thing. I wear a choir robe at church, so it’s almost ridiculous to dress up…YET I STILL DO! CAN I BE ANY MORE PRESBYETERIAN????

Anyway, something about me in a skirt sets Kev off. Seriously. I can be sitting on the couch in nothing but a nightie, and while he’d be appreciative, if he’s preoccupied, I get NOTHING. But me in a skirt (Ok, well, it does show off my newly totally ripped calves nicely. seriously, my legs look FABULOUS!)…and he can’t keep his hands off me.

I’m not even allowed to get undressed! Maybe that’s the thrill for him, the skirt is easy access without the time consuming “removal of clothing” first.

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summary

well, there you are - all 4 of my most common subject in one fun filled post! hope it wasn’t too jarring. unless you LIKE that kind of thing…in which case…come closer…. :)

running around in circles

Published Saturday, August 27, 2005 in craftiness, misc and photos. 0 Comments

deja vu

Last wednesday, I went around to different labs looking for a specialized nylon mesh to separate blots in a single hyb tube during hybridization.

Everyone I talked to nodded their head..

“oh yeah! the mesh! looks like…mosquito netting!”

“yeah! so…do you have any?”

“oh…nope! don’t think so”

this happened several times. Eventually I gave up and tried another tactic for my hybridization.

Today I drove all the way out to bum fuck lilburn to an upholstry and fabric warehouse, looking for supplies for my chair project. I needed to replace the mesh (mesh! again!) that separates the springs from the padding of the seat. Surely they would have it. I even took the old piece with me, as a reference.

The sales guy I talked to nodded his head…

“Oh, sure! mesh! nooo…we don’t carry that. what you CAN use is a really heavy duty stiff burlap. That’s what they use nowadays.”

“sooo…you have that here?”

“nooo…we dont’ sell that any more. you can walk down the sidewalk to the furniture reupholstering shop. he might sell you some.”

well, I’ll spare you the details…that guy didn’t have anything either.

So off to a regular fabric store to buy some regular old burlap. I decided to just get some cardboard and wrap the burlap around it a few times to use as the divider. Then Aimee calls. She suggests instead of cardboard, I use [some material i can’t remember the name of, but is used to make the brims of baseball hats]. They should definately have it there, just ask…it should be by the [other stuff I can’t remember].

So I ask the clerk for [baseball hat material].

“oh..yeah…someone came in asking for that just last night!”

“do you have it?”

“ummm…let me check in the back………

……no”

so I just bought the burlap and some padding. There are forces conspiring against me reupholstering this chair.

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Special Plea from Kev

Kev wants me to send a request out to blogland for recipes for injectable marinades that are low in fat.

I maintain that any marinade can be injectable, as long as it’s not chunky. But there you go. So if any of you hard core grillers have a super secret recipes for injecting your chicken, send it to me and I’ll post it on the internets.

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Picture pages, Picture pages!

knit poncho

the poncho I finished last week. Not the greatest lighting…but you can see the rich dark colors…and there’s a metalic thread woven through the mohair/acrylic blend.

balcony visitor
I was out harvesting some rosemary when I saw that I had a visitor. I hope she stays a long time and eats all the nasty little buggies that eat my plants!

another day older and deeper in debt

Published Friday, August 26, 2005 in rants, misc and science!. 0 Comments

Once again I went to my advisor’s office with all the wonderful things I had done this week. Gotten results (well, 50% of the results) from my latest 2D gel, I’m a few hours away from confirming a strain construction, I came up with and began implementing a FASTER way of completing the rest of my strains.

What DIDN’T I do? Start on my paper. It is REALLY hard for me to switch gears so quickly, esepecially to a project I finished two years ago. So to have all this stuff going on with my latest project, and to THEN start thinking critically about the old one…my brain just sort of collapses. But I think now that I have a solid plan for the rest of my strain construction, and soon I can just go into data collection mode (which is kind of mindless, actually, the construction of the strains is the brain twisting hard part), I’ll really be able to sit down and concentrate.

So what did she say?

I’m not spending enough hours in the lab.

GAH! this happens about every other time I sit down with her.

ok, yes, this week has been bad. I haven’t been feeling 100%. But I have NEVER planned out my week by the hour. I have things I need to get done, and I stay in the lab until I finish them. Strain construction especially can play havoc on my lab hours. Some days I’m here a really long time. Some days, I only have a few hours of work to do. That’s just the way it is. But it’s really discouraging to take a bunch of positive results to her, and then instead of her being HAPPY, she just bitches that I’m not in the lab enough this week.

I suppose what I should be doing is spending those extra hours reading and writing…but that I can’t do in the lab. We do have use of an office down the hall. But there is another grad student using it to write her paper - A. A stresses the hell out of me - she’s just wound so tight, especially when she’s stressed and writing.

I’ll stop now before I get Dooced.

So what does that leave me? I could work from home…BUT THAT WOULD BE LESS HOURS IN THE LAB NOW WOULDN’T IT??? I suppose I could take my laptop to the library, hang with the med students. I dunno.

thank GOD it’s friday. i’ll have to be in the lab over the weekend, but at least I get more stuff done when no one is around!

also…just thought of something…I really kind of liked working late, the lab was pretty much empty…except for Brenda. we could talk to each other and get stuff done at the same time, and it was FUN! I MISS BRENDA!

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Brenda reads here sometimes - she’s the one who just moved to Boston. Brenda just got some REALLY GOOD NEWS! Fanstastic WONDERFUL NEWS!

(no, she’s not pregnant…at least I haven’t heard anything…)

I can’t really write the whole story out, because I haven’t been given permission, and I wouldn’t ask that of her because it’s a really painful and very private story. BUT after months of stressing out, and dealing with INCOMPETENT BUREAUCRACY, and PILES OF SHIT TO WADE THROUGH..and the BIGGEST ASSHAT HITLERESQUE WOMAN IN THE WORLD…they made it!

The people who were causing them the most problems are still trying to cling to a shred of power over the situation, but there’s NOTHING that they can do to stop it. So…CONGRATULATIONS, BRENDA AND RYAN! I knew everything would work out for the best! *BIG BONE CRUSHING BEAR HUGS!*

ESC’s angry digestive system

Published Tuesday, August 23, 2005 in misc and TMI. 0 Comments

Ugh.

This morning my body decided to punish me for my lack of gall bladder again. It does this to a certain degree every day, but a couple of times a year, the beating is severe.

So I spent much of this morning curled up into a little weeping ball of pain in bed, running to the bathroom, where food I ate 2 years ago reappeared, surprisingly intact, and then returning to the ball of pain.

Not fun.

I eventually got to work around 11:30, a little shaky. Feeling better now, and I’m finally hungry - but afraid to add food to this volitile mix. My digestive system is very angry right now. I might not want to incur its wrath again with leftover mac and cheese.

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In non-digestive news…

I got to talk to Brighton on the phone last night! Hooray! She has just the cutest voice with juuust a slight hint of accent. Yeah yeah, I know a few of you MET her, and others have already done the phone thing…but this is MEEEE. I will now add her to my drunk calling list. If I decide to ever get stupid drunk again and call people. It’s been a long time, sooo…Brighton you probably have nothing to worry about.

Then I IMed with Julie and we realized that we have never spoken on the phone. This is STUPID because she and I are actually in the same time zone, as opposed to the rest of you central and pacific FREAKS! Keeping me up at all hours…PFT! Anyway, we agreed to talk soon. We’re discussing plans on how to become multi millionaires and taking over the world by knitting baby blankets. I think. It was late, and I’m a little hazy on the details. But it made perfect sense at the time.

Alright…I think I’m going to risk that mac and cheese now. Pray for me.

ACK! she GOT ME!

Published Thursday, August 18, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

So no one wants to see any more pics of how abused my back and neck are, right? OK, done with that.

Brighton tagged me! DAMMMNNNNNN YOOOUUUUUU BRIIIIIIIGHTOOONNNNN! actually, not a painful meme to accomplish. And I have spread the evil to other people…BWAAHAHAHAHA!

1. What is the ratio of sexy panties to granny panties currently in your possession?

alright…are we defining granny panties as anything that is non-thong, or as anything that is obviously not intending to be sexy? I’m going to chose the latter, because I really don’t OWN granny panties. I’ll lump my thong and lacy-type stuff together…and say…ummm…2:1, sexy vs. purely cotton comfort. however, IMHO, even some of the cotton ones are sexy ;)

2. Pretend you won one of those “make your dream come true” deals that Oprah is always giving away… what would you ask for?
a HUUUUGE beautiful log cabin house in the woods by a lake. and a boat. annnd…an ATV for Kev.

3. Describe your high school days in one word.
sheltered

4. If you could shag any celebrity in the world, who would be your top three picks?
alright, Brighton picked a cute guy, an old guy, and a chick. so I’ll follow suit.

Ewan McGregor - he’s cute AND got the cute british accent AND he can sing!
Morgan Freeman - i dunno…he just seems so quietly confident and comforting.
Liv Tyler - I just think she’s hawt. can’t really explain it.

5. If you had all the money in the world… more than you could ever spend in four lifetimes… would you eat some??

ew, no. I would use it to buy REAL food, and then eat that. what a stupid question.

6. Tag Three People…

Jamie

Serra

Cinnamon

daily annoyances

Published Monday, August 15, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

#1. this morning I was sitting with traffic at a light, when it turned green. I was in the left lane, with a large truck way up in front, and it was taking it’s good sweet time to get moving. I survey the lane to the right of me, there was a large gap between the car that just passed me, and the pick up truck behind him - several car lengths worth, plus that lane wasn’t even close to full speed yet.

So I flicked on my turn signal and went for it.

mr truck did NOT like that, and angrily beeped at me. I ignored him - dude, get over it. I didn’t cut you off, there was plenty of room in front of you, and you didn’t even have to tap your brakes because you weren’t moving very fast at all, as the light had JUST turned green.

but mr truck did not let it go. I got into the rightmost lane and sped along, happily drinking my morning coffee. Mr truck sped up, passed some people, and flew by me, laying on the horn.

at this point, the finger was in order. get a life, sir.

#2. I was perusing etsy, as I have been doing more and more lately (but I haven’t bought anything…yet), and found some beautiful yarn I would like to purchase (no, I’m not telling you which because you’ll STEAL it from me). But I need to know if I can combine shipping from one seller. But before I can contact the seller, I have to register. Fine. I got through the process, and the site tells me I have to wait for an email and click on the link provided to confirm the registration. Pretty standard.

Exept that it was 5 hours ago and I STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN THE EMAIL! I even reregestered with a different username and email account. Nothing. Nada. Apparently, Etsy has been BoingBoing‘ed, and everything is running painfully slow. pbbth.

BUT I WANT THE YAAAA-AAAARN!

#3. There are remains of a hard boiled egg - shards of shell and fragments of yolk and white - on the floor in one of the stalls of the ladies room.

My mind shudders away from the implications.

I mean, I know if you’re in there for a long time, you might get hungry…but…

ew.

a post which makes no mention of Ikea at all…

Published Wednesday, August 10, 2005 in rants and misc. 0 Comments

…except in the title.

Last night I chatted with the lovely Lovisa about her recent nasty bout with spyware. Out of curiousity, I did a search on my laptop.

GAH! nail.exe! aurora! SEARCH ASSISTANT!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

But she walked me through extermination of the nasty bugger. It involved going into my Registry! and Deleting Things! with the horrific possibility of Deleting Something Important that would Destry My Laptop for All Time. I’M SCARED! HOLD ME!

I got through it, though, and my laptop SHOULD be Search Assistant free. At least it was last night at 2:30am. When I get home today, I will check to make sure it is STILL Search Assistant Free.

So for you, Gorgeous Canadian Goddess of the Snowy White North…I give you the ultimate reward:

THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE! laugh and enjoy.

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heeeere kitty kitty!

I had a doctor’s appointment today, for (as Brighton likes to call it) my “kitty.” These appointments are all very chatty and full of TMI on both sides, because when I’m nervous, I blurt out things. Like when she asked me if I did regular breast exams, I responded “well, my boyfriend helps!” And she informed me (for some unknown reason) that men shy away from chlamydia and gonnorhea tests because they think they’re going to get a q-tip shoved up their urethra.

ummmm….yeah. I’ll keep that in mind.

She also keeps pushing poly-cystic fibroid disease on me. Every time I go to her, she does this. She lists all the symptoms, and how it can increase the chances of uterine cancer, etc. I am not sure WHY she does this…I don’t have hair sprouting up in strange and new places (at least, since I was 12) and I don’t have b-acne. I think she brings it up because one of the symptoms is weight gain. Helll-OOOOO! I’m just FAT, lady….AND I’m in grad school! WEIGHT GAIN HAPPENS! And actually, I’ve lost a few pounds. So PBBBBTH!

But she still gave me the option of testing.

Maybe she needs to fill some sort of weird poly-cystic quota? She said 1 in 10 women have it. Maybe she’s got 9 patients who are poly-cystic free, and it’s freaking her out in a kind of OCD way? THERE MUST BE ONE!!!!

(not to be confused with “there can only be one“)

So over an HOUR later, my kitty gets the all clear. I can share her with the world!

ummmmm…no.

sorry to get your hopes up.

warning: bitchiness follows

Published Thursday, August 4, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

want some cheese with that?

Ugh. Got the period today. I have NO CALL to complain, because I’m on the “every 9 weeks” birth control pill plan…so I only get it a few times a year. Still…I shall whine….oooooooowwwwwwwwww! My cramps huuuuUUUUUUUUURRrrrrrt!!! Still…loving the Insteads.

My eyes have gone from hurty to itchy. What up, eyes? wtf?

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geeking out for dummies

This is a cool little animation from NOVA that explains something called RNAi. But it also has a nice little recipe/chef analogy for how DNA -> RNA -> proteins. Just click on the “show metaphor” link.

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wow it’s hot

Do you just want to smack all news and weather people who insist on telling you how hot it is? WE KNOW IT’S HOT PEOPLE! THAT’S WHY I’M DRENCHED AS SOON AS I WALK OUTSIDE! I’M NOT STUPID - I KNOW IT’S NOT RAINING!

I also want to smack people who try to make small talk about the weather. “hoo boy, hot enough for ya?” *smack* Yep, and now you’re hot AND in pain. suck it.

I think maybe the heat is making me a little cranky. Think?

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daily food droolings

last night I made udon noodle/stir fry soup, and sesame chicken skewers. If you ask me nicely, I may post the recipe.

and if you don’t ask, I might do it anyway. SUCK IT!

don’t MESS WITH ME I’M FUCKING HOT AND CRAMPY!!!!

sorry.

sorry about that.

I love you guys.

seriously.

*ouch*

*sweat*

hump day randoms

Published Wednesday, August 3, 2005 in daily, misc and conversations. 0 Comments

together too long

we’re squished up on the couch together, Kev resting his head on my chest. we’re watching Rachel Ray enjoy Sante Fe on $40 a day (which rhymes). She’s watching some kids play kickball.

Rachel Ray: I’ve kicked a mean ball in my past.

Kev and I…SIMULTANEOUSLY: I’ll bet you HAVE!

(laughter and tickling)

Kev: you’re going to blog this, aren’t you?

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From the whiney complaint department

My eyeballs hurt and I don’t know why. And I’m out of Excedrin at work. OOOWWWEEEEEE!!!!

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Random racisim

I answered the phone at work today, and it was our departmental manager - the woman who knows who to call when something breaks, goes out, or floods. She was calling about an email request from someone else in the lab for some extra office furniture…it was all very confusing. She ended up yelling..ok, talking VERY LOUDLY at me about how LAB GODDESS SAID YOU DIDN’T NEED A FILE CABINET WHY DID POST-DOC SEND AN EMAIL?? ASK THE CHINESE GIRL!!! WHO IS THAT CHINESE GIRL??? ASK THE CHINESE GIRL!!!

and my brain just stopped, because I knew she was talking about N, who is Korean and very sensitive about racial issues. And I couldn’t even come up with a response, because as she was yelling my brain kept screaming STOP SAYING CHINESE!!! STOP….SAYING….CHINESE!!!!!

Not that I would expect her to know N is from Korea, but christ, PLEASE don’t assume all people of asian descent are CHINESE!!! AT LEAST SAY “ASIAN!!!”

or even better….LEARN HER NAME, she’s BEEN HERE FOR 2 YEARS!!!!

I handed the phone to our lab goddess, because I couldn’t deal WITH THE YELLING!!!

CHINESE!!!

CHINEEEEEESE!!!!!

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Because you can’t leave here not hungry

Last night I made beef and bean tacos for dinner. Today I met a friend for lunch at Top Spice and we both had panang curries.

Tonight I’m going to try out some stir fry over Japanese udon noodles.

My stomach is a multi cultural melting pot. I think tomorrow we’ll have to eat hot dogs or fried chicken, so we’re not labelled anti-american and rumsfeld knocks down the front door in a homeland security raid.

in the meantime, she can read the classifieds

Published Tuesday, August 2, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

No stinky surprises this morning, and she kept down the rice and canned food mix I fed her for breakfast.

Hopefully, there will be nothing gross waiting for me when I get home. There are newspapers covering her crate and the whole floor area of the sun room - so I hope if there is a surprise, it will be a contained one.

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güd-bye

Is it next week yet? I’d really like for it to be next week, because on monday, we’re taking a LAB TRIP TO IKEA! So far, this is not advisor sanctioned. We debated whether or not to tell her, but figured if she walked in on monday afternoon and her entire lab was GONE, she might get suspicious. So we’ll probably tell her, but blame it on Brenda.

Brenda is leaving us - she got a post-doc position at MIT.

WAAAHHHHH!!!!

I am REALLY going to miss her. Even though our projects have been very different, we still help each other out a lot. Also, she’s been a good friend to me - calming me down when I break down in tears. And I’ve calmed HER down the few times SHE’S broken down. She’s probably the person in the lab I get along with the best. There’s still another grad student, A, who’s a couple years younger. It’s not that A and I don’t get along…it’s just that I think we’re very different people. Brenda and I have always gotten along swimmingly. I think we have the same sense of humor. And we have the BEST late in the day, only people left in the lab, non-scientific discussions. Including a HYSTERICAL conversation in which I tried to describe and then DRAW OUT what an uncircumcised penis looks like. BWAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! That was great. We also share the same non-shame in discussing the most intimate and delicate things, such as periods and cramps, detailed surgical procedures, and boobs.

WHO WILL I HAVE THESE CONVERSATIONS WITH NOW????

I’m going to miss her like crazy.

Next wednesday will be her last day. Saturday, our advisor is throwing a pot luck BBQ for her. It will be a bittersweet farewell: good, because it proves that there IS life after grad school, and bad, because I think I will be lonely in the lab without her.

ANYWAY, we’re using that as an excuse to play hooky for an afternoon and check out the new IKEA, maybe splurge on some swedish meatballs. Mmmmmmm!

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shameless plugs for the recipe site:

I posted the BEST BEAN SOUP RECIPE EVER.

Riz posted a DELCIOUS sounding enchilada recipe.

attention alien beings:

Published Wednesday, July 20, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

yesterday after work, I went to Curves. the music is better now. the “theme” this week (at this new place, every week there are “themes,” and there are contests and fun facts about those “themes”) is money management. according to the calendar, next week’s theme is panic disorder. A workout AND an education!

then I went to the international farmer’s market, where among other things, I bought lots of garlic, both peach AND passionfruit nectars, good olive oil, and a really soft creamy bleu cheese from denmark.

Instead of cooking anything gourmet with my purchases, I made meatball sandwiches - with frozen meatballs. In a jarred sauce (which, in all fairness, I did add sauteed onion, garlic, and green peppers to). The provalone I melted on top was from the farmer’s market, though.
And I made a salad. Hey, not EVERY day is 5 star food! And those frozen meatballs are DAMNED GOOD!

Then I watched nothing on tv with Kev, until he got bored and left to play his game.

No sex, but I’m hopeful for tonight.

Chatted with some friends. stayed up too late. Fell asleep fretting about stupid supreme court nominee, and what I would do if my reproductive rights were taken away, and I accidentally got pregnant. We would be screwed. Bastards.

I really REALLY need to clean my place. But there is still a shopsmith across from my kitchen, and a rocking chair in the middle of my living room. This makes cleaning difficult.

So ultimately my life has been boring this week. NOT WORTHY OF AN ALIEN ABDUCTION, IN CASE ANYONE OUT…”THERE” IS LISTENING!!!

I’ll try to be funny or something later. In the meantime, check out google moon. keep zooming in until you get all the way. This has entertained me today, which is good because I have to play with radioactivity today, and I HATE it.

I have been feeling blah lately - this has been going around blogville it seems. So today, my dear loyal readers, I beg of you to entertain me. Jokes, limericks, short stories, naughty tales…ANYTHING. Either in comments or email. Lurkers welcome. PLEASE! I NEED SOMETHING TO GET ME OUT OF THIS FUNK!

wanna quickie?

Published Thursday, June 30, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

No time for a real post right now. I’ve had to do a million things today. But…

1. my financial aid form is signed and turned in.

2. my DNA from the CsCl gradient is drying on my bench.

3. we made liquid nitrogen ice cream. awesome. pics tonight (maybe)

4. I ALMOST have a truck rented for trip home. I’m waiting for car rental lady to call me about her conversation with the first dumbass guy I talked to, to confirm the reservation. If all goes well, I’m dropping my dented car off at Maaco, and the nice car rental people will pick me up and give me a truck. We pay for rental from Friday through Monday. Insurance picks up the bill from Tuesday to Friday. We would technically pay from Saturday to Monday, but Maaco thinks they might need to keep my car until then…which means car rental would reimburse us.

This is the plan. CALL ME BACK, LADY!!!!

Also: I heart tanning gel. I look like I’ve been at the beach for a few days. Sans the sand in my crotch.

Sweaty and dirty

Published Saturday, June 25, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

whoops…

I went to take a heartburn pill…and instead took my thyroid pill. I already took my thyroid pill this morning, so that’s two in one day.

I hope I don’t die.

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Sweatin’ for Jeeeesus

Went to Curves this morning. I’ve pretty much kept to my Monday, Thursday, Saturday schedule.

So they always have music playing. It’s always a techno dance-mix kind of thing. Alot of ABBA, some show tunes, some oldies…but always to the same driving beat. It really keeps you moving. I don’t usually pay a whole lot of attention to the words of the music (which is not normal for me…i LOVE singing to music, but it’s hard to sing and excercise at the same time). But today they had on a music mix that I hadn’t heard before. A few of the words jumped out at me…”praise,” “worship,” “forever.”

Hmmm…maybe a fluke.

Nope…the next song was the same. It was Christian techno rock. I kept looking around to see if anyone else was noticing this. No one was. Of course…I was in north atlanta suburb hell. They probably saw nothing wrong with a theorectically secular workout facility playing Christian techno music. We’re ALL good CHRISTIANS….right? Well, OK, I’M a Christian. But that doesn’t mean everyone is. And ugh…christian techno beats? Gag.

I can’t wait to transfer to one closer to my home. Just a couple more weeks. Of course, I live in what I like to call “little india,” so maybe they’ll play Hindi techno mixes. that would be cool.

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Everything’s furry…

Today I vacuumed. It was time. Everything that has touched the floor quickly became coated with dog hair. Everything. Papers, shoes, purses, slow moving old people…

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…and green!

I did what I HOPE will be the last of my balcony planting - my italian parsely was pathetic and spindly, so I bought a new one, along with a new house plant.

And I finally got around to straightening up my balcony. It was covered with dirt, debris, the plastic pots you buy plants in, plant name tags…and of course DOG HAIR. So now it’s a nice place to sit and be…but it’s too damn hot to be out there sitting and being.

A fact which I realized quickly after only a few minutes of working on the balcony. I had JUST showered after getting back from curves, and I was getting all hot, sweaty, and dirty again.

Which probably turns on the perves. “ooooo…I’m soooo hoooooot….think I’ll…take off my bra…”

HA! Perves.

where was I…oh yeah…

Go to my flickr pages to see the fruits of my labor. Or click here for poppy slideshow goodness.

Fabulous prizes!

Published Thursday, June 23, 2005 in misc and blogging. 0 Comments

Whoops! My counter hit 30,000, and I didn’t notice. Sorry about that, #30,000. Guess you’ll just have to wait until 40,000 to get the prize -

nekkid pictures.

(I didn’t say “of me,” perves!)

Any-hooo…ummm….

Yeah, I got nothing right now. I’m hungry. Time for lunch. Leftover pasta….and puddin’. Sweeeeeeeeet.

ya HUMP!

Published Wednesday, June 22, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Adventures in getting to work

This morning I was pretty distracted…and late…getting to work. Therefore I wasn’t really concentrating all that hard while driving.

So I didn’t see the obvious, not-even-trying-to-hide cop with the big radar gun until it was I was almost passing him. I was going 50. In a 35.

Shit.

The look on my face must have been pretty comical, though, because all the cop did was laugh, shake a finger at me disapprovingly, and point to the radar detector. He wasn’t even trying to hide, so it must have been pretty funny to him that I was speeding past him.

I laughed with him, pointed to my head and made a helpless gesture…more out of the utter absurdity of the situation than relief. I hit my brakes to slow down, and continued on my way.

Whew!

Then I was behind a woman with a vanity plate. MORFR8.

what?

more freight? morf rate? more fright?

very confusing.

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Equality and good movie lines

I was reading Bacon Strips the other day, and one of the guys did a post on his Top 20 Movie Quotes. They were all good, mostly expected, but disturbingly…all by male characters.

I made the comment that there were no women characters represented, and he replied that he couldn’t think of any good lines by women characters.

hmmm…

Well, there are certainly FAMOUS lines uttered by female characters - “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore,” “I’m ready for my closeup, Mr DeMille,” etc, etc.

but were there any like those he had posted? That were cleverly funny, or expressed anger and rage, summed up in just a single sentence?

Hmmmmm….

No doubt my friends out there can come up with some, but last night it struck me. One of my favorite lines, spoken in my absolute favorite movie. I’m cheating somewhat, in that orginally it was a play, not a movie. But back then, there WERE no movies, plays were movies. So I maintain that it counts.

I included several lines, to give the context, but I’ve bolded the best one - and yes, technically two sentences are bolded…but it’s all part of the same “phrase”

Is he not approved in the height a villain, that
hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O
that I were a man! What, bear her in hand until they
come to take hands; and then, with public
accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour,–
O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart
in the market-place.

awesome. Rage, anger, dispair…all there. So that’s my vote for best movie quote by a female character. Anyone have any additions?

God I love that movie. And I will always hear those words in my head as spoken by Emma Thompson.

I think I need to watch it again. It’s been awhile. I’ll do it while Kev’s playing his Unreal, since it’s such a chick flick, and I have a tendencey to mouth all the lines to myself.

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HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!

Flying Spaghetti Monster theory of creationism

via BoingBoing

Daddy’s Little Gamer

Published Sunday, June 19, 2005 in misc and photos. 0 Comments

Happy Father’s Day to all the good daddies out there.

I got my dad one of these:

yeah yeah, it’s the “MS pacman” one…but it’s the only one that has Galaga. Galaga was our favorite game - my dad and I played each other on our old Nintendo system, and any time we’d be at a restaurant or arcade that had Galaga, we’d always slip in a few quarters to play. I’d get so excited every time I saw that familiar green game…”DAD! GALAGA! can we play? huh huh? can we?”

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! And practice that game…I’m a big girl now, and I can probably beat your high scores :)

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Green ESC

and not that I’m at ALL jealous of Sylvana’s beautiful garden…cause I’m NOT! but…my little balcony garden seems to be doing well this year:

Green tomato #1

The relatively mild spring and lots of sunny days and stormy evenings have done wonders. Hooray!

Lots of fragrant herbs and hopefully, some nice ripe tomatoes very soon.

I don’t do flowers.
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I promised Restless Angel some pics of the new hair color.

Before:
bangs

After:
Hair color

Yeah, it’s not a dramtic change. But I got what I wanted. I’ve always been a sort of kind of maybe dirty dishwater dark icky blonde. A sort of non color. I’ve gone bright blonde before…it wasn’t pretty. So I decided to take the alternate route. Now my hair is a satisfying light to medium brown…with blonde highlights.

I used the L’Oreal “Couleur Experte” in the “Almond Rocca” color. It’s the kind with hair color and highlights. The highlights are a little tricky to do, and I think I might have overdid it a bit…but when I saw how dark my hair looked…I freaked out a bit.

Small sense of accomplishment *now with more squirrel!*

Published Wednesday, June 15, 2005 in daily, dog and misc. 0 Comments

Yesterday, I cleaned.

I’m just so sick of doing the same things over and over in the lab and them not work. I feel like I’m going insane. Like it’s all pointless. Nothing I do works.

And I got home, and I stared at the mess of papers on the floor, shopping bags on chairs, old mail in piles on endtables…and I said THIS I CAN DO!

So I cleaned. I sorted. I moved. I scrubbed. I did everything but vacuum, because then Kev got home with the Chinese take out. Maybe I will vacuum tonight after choir practice.

I even cleaned up the desktop on my laptop.

I am organized.

THAT I can do.

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Julie’s recent squirrel issues made me think of a funny story.

Way back during my first year in atlanta, I lived in an apartment..a rather ghetto apartment. I had sadie only for few months, and still kept her locked in her crate at night. One saturday morning, she started getting restless and whiney at around 7am. OH NO YOU DI-INT! So I went out and yelled at her (yeah, I’m mean like that). She quieted down for a little while, then started up again.

I contemplated getting up again, when I heard *clink*. Clink? wtf? Nothing in her crate should be going *clink*!

*clink* There it was again!!!

I walked into the living room/dining room, and didn’t see anything to weird. Sadie was REALLY anxious. I walked over to the table where I kept all her food and treats. The lid was off the glass container that held her peanut butter biscuits, which had been full the night before, and now was completely empty. OH SHIT!

I let Sadie out of her crate, and she bolted into the kitchen and started sniffing around the fridge. I was thinking…rat? Oh shit, I hope it’s not a rat. Would a rat be able to climb up the table and lift the heavy glass lid off the jar? Not sure…wait…what else could it be….

SQUIRRRRRRRRREL!

I pushed Sadie out of the way, but didn’t put her back into her cage. She was my only protection against a violent squirrel attack. Cautiously, I pulled back the fridge and peered behind.

There was…a HUGE FUCKING HOLE IN MY WALL!!!! At least 2 x 2 feet. At some point in the past, some asshat maintenance person decided that the best way to fix the hole was to nail (not screw in) a piece of plywood over the hole. Eventually, the nails worked themselves loose (or, more sinister, the squirrels hammered them out from the inside using acorns and small rocks…hmmmm….) and the piece of crap plywood fell, exposing the hole, and providing a nice squirrel access passageway into my kitchen. IN MY APARTMENT! MY DOMAIN! I’VE BEEN INVADED! I think I was hyperventilating a little.

So I shoved the fridge back into place and (this is the genius bit) propped up some baking sheet pans to cover the spaces next to the fridge. Take THAT, stupid squirrels! You can pull a heavy glass lid off a jar, but COWER BEFORE MY ALUMINUM BAKING SHEETS!!!!

I called the front office “THERE’S UMM…WELL THERE MIGHT BE, OR THERE WAS A SQUIRREL…OR A RAT…I DON’T KNOW…IT’S GONE I THINK BUT THERE’S A HOLE IN MY WALL! BEHIND THE FRIDGE! SQUIRREL! BISCUITS!”

“OK, ma’am, we’ll try to get someone over there sometime today”

WHAT??? FUCKING RIGHT NOW BITCH!!!!! But it was Saturday. Nothing gets done on Saturday.

So I waited…and waited. Sadie kept guard next to the baking sheets. Then I decided…this is silly. I am a Strong, Independent Woman Living On Her Own. I am not Weak and Useless. And, most importantly, I Own Tools.

So I grabbed my hammer and cautiously pulled back the fridge enough for me to get access - making as much noise as possible, to scare off any potential second wave of squirrel infantry. I quickly nailed the plywood back in using the old nails, and then shoved the fridge back in place.

I was jumpy for the rest of the weekend. I started leaving Sadie’s crate door open at night, but there were no more suspicous incidents. As far as I know, the asshat maintenance people never showed up, and that hole is probably still there to this day - while the squirrels slowly work away at the backs of those nails.

I bought Sadie more peanut butter biscuits and apologized for yelling at her.

Baseball and fire

Published Sunday, June 12, 2005 in daily, misc and conversations. 0 Comments

ooooohhhhhh ohhh ohhohhhhhh….

Saturday, the lab got together and went to a Braves game. We’d been planning it for awhile, figuring that after all the problems we’ve all been having, PLUS Brenda will be leaving for Boston at the end of the summer, we NEEDED some fun time together that wasn’t spent screaming “NOTHING GREW ON MY PLATES!!! I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!”

The day was cloudy and muggy, and I wanted to dress for comfort. I chose a green stripy tank top. Who are the Braves playing? I have no idea, but I can’t think of any green teams, so I figured I chose a safe color.

Kev and I rode MARTA (it’s “smarta”) to avoid traffic. This weekend was Music Midtown, and I knew traffic in and around the city would be nightmarish. We all managed to meet up and find out seats.

So who are the Braves playing, anyway? The Oakland Athletics. Shit…THAT’S CHEATING! Stupid interleague game. The Athletics color is green. Oh well, no one hasseled me.

It drizzled off and on throughout the game. I was sitting next to D, the very fidgety son of our Lab Goddess. As long as LG kept food or drink in his hands, he seemed OK. It was fun to see his excitement, though. He’d grab my arm and yell “Look! Hit the ball!”

We only had to drag out the umbrellas once for about 15 minutes, but we spent most of the game cool and just a little damp. Overall, a good day for baseball. As a bonus, the Braves won - hooray!

(note to the Pittsburghers: I was, am, and always will be a die hard Pirates fan, as difficult as that has been the past…10 years. And the Braves have a history of being a heinous foe to the Pirates. When I moved to Atlanta and joined my lab, I made an agreement with my Braves fan labmates: as long as the Braves were not 1. playing against the Pirates, or 2. competing with the Pirates in a close penant race, I will cheer for the Braves while in Atlanta. This make everyone happy. But I do die a little inside when I do the tomahawk chop)

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conversations, part ? in a series

we’re watching a home show on DIY, and their showing a built in Wok burner that can be separate from your stove. Very shiny and stainless steel. Cost? $2000.

Kev: you’d have to cook a lot of Wok stuff to make that feasable

Me: well, maybe if you’re Asian.

Kev: You’d have to be pretty hardcore Asian.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! HARDCORE ASIAN!

Kev: You’re going to blog this, aren’t you?

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The three alarm false alarm

Just about a half hour ago, I wake up still groggy from my nap. I’m still on the couch, contemplating whether I really need to wake up, or if I can still pass out for awhile longer, when I hear sirens. Close sirens. Cool! Somethings going on! Maybe I can see! So I shuffle outside in my bare feet, through the breezeway to the front of the building. Where I’m met by a couple of fire marshal type people and a firetruck, which fully geared up fire persons are climbing out of.

“WHERE’S 2002?” Firemarshal #1 asks me. “ummm…” I’m still waking up, and a little in shock. fortunately, one of my neighbors has come out and is a little more with it “Downstairs in the back.”

I run back and peer over the railing as Firemarshalls #1 and #2 knock on 2002. The nice hispanic lady who is either renting or housesitting (we haven’t determined which, yet) comes to the door.

“did you report a fire, ma’am?”

“What?? no! no fire!”

Now one of the sisters renting the unit below me come out. “We’re just burning papers in the fireplace!”

By this point, about 4 or 5 fully geared up firepeople are milling around, and I can hear more sirens. A fire rescue ambulance and ANOTHER firetruck are pulling into the complex.

Firemarshall #1 is on his walkie talkie, trying to figure out if they have the right unit number.

Neighbor sister calls up to me “Did YOU call?”

“No! and what are you doing with a fireplace fire in June???” I’m laughing now. She’s laughing, too.

“We’re just burning papers! I TOLD my sister to buy a shredder!!!” I feel bad that we’re having a good laugh at the expense of these very brave and hardworking firepeople, but it’s a little comical.

None of us can figure out who called in the fire. It had to be someone from another building who saw smoke coming from the top of the building and thought that something must be wrong, because WHO lights a fire in June? In ATLANTA??? And now there’s a firemarshall truck, TWO firetrucks and a rescue ambulance parked outside, and no one knows what to do. It was all pretty funny.

Eventually, the fire department left and now everything’s back to normal. I went downstairs to get more of the scoop, bu she’s just as confused as I am! Oh well, at least I got to have a nice long chat with a fairly new neighbor. She’s very sweet.

ESC is sick and tired of her project

Published Friday, June 10, 2005 in misc and links. 0 Comments

Today is not a good day. Bleah.

Bleah bleah bleah.

But it is friday, and I will cope. In the mean time, here is a fun thing called Googlism that I got from Brighton. Below are some of my favorites. I used my real name, but replaced it with ESC to avoid any unfortunately family googles. Yeah, I’m paranoid about that sort of thing.

ESC is a stud monkey
ESC is synonymous with greed and jealousy
ESC is forced to pit for sheet metal repair around the grill opening
ESC is congenial
ESC is not only an inspired and leading scientist
ESC is winning battle of the posters
ESC is dismissive of the notion that psychedelic drugs can provide genuine mystical illumination ESC is firmly on the other side of the farmyard fence
ESC is hypnotized and gets angry
ESC is clandestinely digging amid a ring of stones and she sees lachlan teetering on the brink of a cliff
ESC is a peripatetic historian
ESC is of counsel to the buffalo
ESC is very quick handed
ESC is essentially an oedipal monster and hysteric
ESC is a powerful vocal force to be reckoned with
ESC is definitly the snake in this garden
ESC is on a mission to save whales
ESC is ensconced in her bedroom
ESC is just a precocious little prankster
ESC is maintaining in her mind
ESC is facing the death penalty for espionage
ESC is the president and ceo of the futurework institute
ESC is out of touch with reality in terms of how the tax office operates in 1995
ESC is to have this one basic right
ESC is a precocious young girl who starts behaving strangely
ESC is not all serious
ESC is annoyed by clayton’s presence
ESC is overwhelming
ESC is always on duty and often makes house calls
ESC is pissing on the collective carpet
ESC is found in someone like you
ESC is found in black knight
ESC is not only an inspired and leading scientist
ESC is lukewarm at best
ESC is an idiot

my personal favorite is the “ESC is dismissive of the notion that psychedelic drugs can provide genuine mystical illumination.” Also, it’s very educational, as I learned what “peripatetic” means. We strive to educate our readers here at “…but mostly rants.” and by “we” I mean me and the evil monkey that lives in my closet.

He wasn’t always evil.

Tittilating Tuesday

Published Tuesday, June 7, 2005 in misc, blogging and conversations. 0 Comments

Raw Monotany

Yet another conversation while watching wrestling (aka “wraslin’” )

Me: That’s how they ALL end

Kev: What?

Me: Then all end the same. That guy is winning, then the other guy, then the first guy pulls himself up and he’s winning…and just as he’s about to win, someone else entirely jumps into the ring and kicks his ass. they’re ALL the same.

Kev: no they’re not!

Me: YES THEY ARE!!!!

Kev: … dammit!

much tickling and our own kind of wrestling ensues. yay!

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Ebay power

My phone thong finally came in today. It is SOOO CUTE! Oh YEAH you want one! Don’t even be TELLING me that you don’t!

And I got it for $7 (including shipping). OH YEAH! WHO’S YOUR HERO???

Yeah, that’s what I THOUGHT you said!

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Layout musings

I’ve noticed that I’m doing a lot of these posts broken up into little sections. I could just post each one individually, a la Dan Tobin. But whenever I bury a post, everyone stops commenting on it. Doesn’t seem to be a problem on his site….but then he uses a lot smaller font than I do, so maybe that’s the key. If I made my font smaller, then more small posts would appear on the screen at once.

Then old people wouldn’t be able to read my blog, because the type would be too small for them. And I really don’t want to descriminate against old people, even if, as far as I know, no really old people (I’m talking 60+) read my site.

Maybe Dan Tobin hates old people? Bwahahahaha! (sorry Dan, you know I love your site!)

Doesn’t matter anyway, because I can start one of these posts with something very poignant, something I feel will really spark conversation. and then at the very end mention something very trivial, like how much I really like pie. Then 90% of my comments will be about pie.

So not complaining! But still…it’s very strange.

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Let’s get physical!

So if I can get out of the lab at a decent time (blogging not helping with this), and then fight traffic up to Norcross, I’m going to be joining Curves. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, Curves is a women-only excercise/workout facility. From what I’ve read, it’s just what I’m looking for. No thinking about which workout I should be doing, or waiting in a line for the bikes…everything is set up in an order, and everyone rotates and certain timepoints (I believe). Today I will sign up, and be evaluated according to my fitness needs. I will probably set off some kind of alarm as soon as I step in - WHOOOOP WHOOOOP WHOOOOP! FAT GIRL ALERT! WHOOOOP WHOOOOP WHOOOOOOP!

We get a discount through Kev’s job. he’s joining Gold’s Gym. I have to do the Curves in Norcross for a month, and then I can move my membership somewhere closer to home.

I hope I can keep it up. They recommend 3 times a week. I can handle that….I think.

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fun with food

Something to make you laugh.

woohoo!

Life of crime

Published Sunday, June 5, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Frozen white morons

As I was driving back from church, I got behind a white volvo with one of those abbreviate stickers on the back, similar to the “OBX” or “BNL” ones you see. This one said “CDN.” The letters were flanking with little maple leaf flags, and underneath in small letters it said “CANADA.”

Oh…so they just took out the “a’s” to make…canada…wait…that doesn’t work! CaDaNa? I sincerely hope that “CDN” stands for something else to canadians. Otherwise, these people were just stupid.

A few things that pointed me to the “stupid” conclusion: their license plate frame said “GO VEGAN!” and they also ran a red light right in front of a cop cap sitting in plane view. Unfortunately, the cop didn’t take the bait, but really…how stupid are you???

I am obviously NOT implying that all Canadians are stupid here. Just the ones from…Cadana. which actually makes sense if your nose is stuffed up. So maybe they weren’t stupid, they just had a cold?

~~see comments for explanation~~

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Do they make a patch for this?

I am getting somewhat frustrated with knitting as a hobby. I guess I never realized how expensive it would be. All the coolest yarns seem to be $8+…and only come in leeetle wee bundles…of which 10 or more are needed for a decent sized project.

now THERE’S incentive for a diet…lose weight and use less yarn for the clothing you make…hooray!

I am completely in awe of the knitting blogs I come across. These talented ladies turn out the most amazing projects in a matter of days…and somehow manage to support themselves with what has to be a $150/month yarn habit. All which leads me to wonder…DO THEY NOT WORK? Seriously. How can you afford the pretty yarn and still have tons of free time to use it???

My theory is that they don’t eat. Obviously, they can’t be spending any money on food. So my fatal flaw is that I like to cook. These two hobbies cannot co-exist peacefully. Something must suffer.

IT’S LIKE SOPHIE’S CHOICE!

Speaking of cooking, last night with my farmer’s market purchases I made the most WONDERFUL spicey Thai food! A super spicey Tom-yum hot and sour soup with mushrooms, green onions, and tofu. And a coconut curry with chicken and peppers with rice.

mmmmmm…

And this afternoon, I took the thick slices of Challah bread that I had left out overnight and made some french toast…droooooooool…..

(have you seen American Dad? “how’s your french toast, dear?” “smelly and ungrateful, but this AMERICAN toast is delicious!” bwaaahahahahahahaaaa!!!!)

(also, I have been bopping around singing “…I ain’t no CHALLAH back giiiiirl, ain’t no CHALLAH back giiiirl!….grooooooan!)

So anyway…yeah, giving up cooking is pretty much impossible. I must come up with another way to fund my new hobby.

I’ve decided on bank robbing. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Ack! ya got me!

Published Thursday, May 26, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Dammit. I’ve been TAGGED! just when I thought I’d snuck under the radar….

1) What is the total number of books I’ve owned?

Oh sweet jeebus…are ya kidding me? I am a book WHOOOOORE! I’ve been a voracious reader since I was little. And sometimes I purged and took boxes and boxes to my local library, only to fill up my shelves all over again. So…hundreds.

2) What is the last book I bought?

Actually, I think it was a cook book. On baking. I haven’t actually BAKED anything in it yet, though.

3) What is the last book I’ve read?

Yeeee…let me think. I’ve been pretty bad about reading recently…the past year…EVER SINCE I STARTED MY BLOG, AS A MATTER OF FACT! You people suck up entirely too much of my time. The last book I read, I believe…was “Going Postal, ” by Terry Pratchett. And just doing a little browsing, I see that there is a NEW PRATCHETT BOOK COMING OUT SOON! Hooray! So adding THAT to my amazon wishlist! Just in case some nice benefactors are out there…with money to spend…and want to send their favorite blogger a present…

4) What are the 5 (plus) books that have meant a lot to me?

I guess I don’t understand the question. I can’t think of books that have “changed my life.” If it means the books I can read over and over again without ever getting sick of them, then I would have to say David Eddings’ The Belgariad series, The Mallorean series, and the two prequels, Belgarath the Sorcerer and Polgara the Sorceress.

That’s like…12 books, right there. They’re all technically the same series, which is probably cheating…but PBBBTH!

Extra credit question, ‘What book would you wish to buy next?’:

only one?

The Art of Discworld
Thud! (the new pratchett one)
the next Harry Potter book

TAG! (5 people whose collections I want to pry into)

good lord, I can’t even remember who’s done this and who hasn’t! I tag….Julie, E-Lo, Brom-man, Pup, and Jamie. Assuming they haven’t already DONE this one. In which case, I’ll just tag someone else! BWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Little bits of non-controversial no-rants

Published Thursday, May 26, 2005 in misc and conversations. 0 Comments

Sign on Ace Hardware store on Ponce:

“BEST SELECTION OF LEGAL HERBS IN ATLANTA”

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Sammich alert

saw kelly ripa on letterman. good lord, she’s got a six pack between her boobies…what’s left of them. and that ain’t right. please, kelly, have a sammich.

******************
Whine alert

I have a canker sore on the inside of my lower lip….and it HUUUURRRRRTTTSSS!!!!

To the inventor of Kanka: I love you, and want to bear your children.

*****************
Further adventures of living together

scene: both of us on the couch, I just got back from choir practice

Kev: I have a craving….for puuuddin’

Me: really? you want me to make you some pudding?

Kev: I’m kind of full.

Me: you know, I have a whole stack of instant pudding in there, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is mix it with milk and mmmfmmfmmmmmmf mfmmfmmfmf mfmfmmmfmfmmmm…

his hand over my mouth

…and you can have pudding ANY TIME you mmmfmfmffff…

…do you really want pudding?

Kev: I do, but I’m too full. So I shouldn’t.

later that night. watching TV in bed

Me leaning over to him: I want smoochies (note: yes…we’re that cutesy…SHUT UP!)

Kev: I don’t know…I didn’t get any puddin’ tonight…

Me: YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T WANT ANY!!!

Kev: Don’t you know that when I say “no” I really mean “yes”?

Me: What are you, a girl?

Kev: that’s it. no smoochies.

Me: gah! tickling ensues, ending with smoochies. I always get my smoochies.

and yes, later that night, made pudding for us for lunch today.

Hand Drier of Doom, and other weekend adventures

Published Sunday, May 22, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Busy weekend wrap up!

Friday was a VERY busy day, and I got nothing done…labwise. First we ordered lunch out, which is A GREAT way to kill a few hours. Right after lunch, three of us plus our advisor took a trip to Sam’s Club and Publix to pick up stuff for 3rd Friday - which is a departmental party held once a month on…the 3rd friday, duh. All the labs take turn “hosting” it, and this was our month. We bought over a hundred dollars worth of snacks, treats, and…beer. The department will pay my advisor for it. So it was SPEND AWAY, BABY! When we got back, I had just enough time to check my gel and then bang my head against the wall for the totally confusing results I was getting, before we had to go set up all the goodies in the 2nd floor lobby.

So from 4 to 5, I stood around chatting and stuffing my face, and then I had to scadaddle and head over to a bar in the Va Highlands to meet some friends, and chat, eat, and drink SOME MORE!

The best thing about THAT evening was…the hand drier in the bathroom. I shit you not…it was amazing. It was a supercharged TURBO hand drier. You know how in the movies, when a helicopter hovers above water, or a field of wheat? Well, that’s what this drier did to my skin. I walked back to the group. “guys! you have to check out the hand drier! it’s really scary!”

“yeah, right. whatever”

Elizabeth was next to break the seal. She came back to the table looking unsettled. “that hand drier is…weird!”

“YES! THANK YOU!” I felt vindicated. everyone tried the drier and was suitably impressed and frightened by it. THE AMAZING HAND DRIER OF DOOOOOOOOM!

Helped that I had a really good buzz going. ;)

Saturday morning was dress rehearsal for choir, then a few hours in the lab. Bleah! But later, Kev and I went out to eat and met up with a grad student from the lab and a bunch of her friends for her birthday. We went to this place called Jillians, which is a big Dave and Busters ripoff…but much more expensive. (for the “for’ners”, Dave and Busters is a bar/restaurant/billiards/arcade for adults - this place also had a small bowling alley). Kev and I shared a swipe card and played a few games together. We played a race car game - Daytona 500, I think. He got ALL kinds of indignant when I ran him off the road at the last minute to win the race. Duh! OUT OF MY WAY, BEEEOOOOTCH! Just like my driving in real life. Right, Jamie?

This morning was the big music service at church. we sang several pieces, but our big piece was Vivaldi’s “Gloria.” I love singing in latin- it just flows so much smoother than English.

After THAT we had a congregational meeting to approve our candidate for new associate pastor. and Kev got yet MORE introduction to Presbyterian politics. What was supposed to be a relatively quick and smooth process hit a snag when someone stood up and gave a very emotional speech about how $32,000 a year is bare minimum for salary, and how could anyone live on that, and we should up that by $10,000. Gah!!! That was so frustrating, because:

1. the session had to scrimp and cut and paste to find the money to hire a FULL TIME associate. we’re not paying minimum Presbytery salary because we’re stingy…we’re doing it because that’s what we can afford!

2. you can’t live in atlanta for $32,000??? that’s $10,000 more than what I make, thank you very much! and it’s more than what Kev makes.

so, yeah, that motion got defeated. But the candidate was accepted. more good work by the Presbyterian machine.

and now I laze on the couch…tired from two nights of drinking. And a little early morning debauchery. Hehe…I was ONLY trying to wake Kev up - as I usually say, I know FOR SURE I can always wake at least ONE part of him up. I didn’t think he’d want to follow through with it. What a nice way to start the day :)

Can ya hear me now, beeeeeeotch?

Published Thursday, May 19, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Our phones! They came! I’m officially a Verizon Customer! (sorry Pup)

They were going to come either today or tomorrow, and I was expecting tomorrow, because the Verizon rep here at school called me Tuesday, the day after I started the whole process, to inform me that when she tried to access my credit…(oh shit oh shit…there are some snarky things on my credit…oh shit…they’re going to deny me! they wouldn’t right? I keep getting credit card offers..my credit can’t be THAT bad! oh shit oh shit…)…but came up against my fraud blocker, so they needed some more info from me.

OHHHHHH… the FRAUD BLOCKER STILL WORKS!

See, five or so years ago I got a call from the friendly people at Citibank. Seems they had two cards for me with two different mailing addresses, and were calling to confirm that that was correct.

ahem…I’m sorry…what?

Yep, somebody had gotten a hold of my SS# and opened up a card in my name. Thank God it was a company that catches that sort of thing. They had managed to spend a few hundred dollars, mostly on…manicures, apparently, and some restaurant charges. Pussies…they’d had it almost a month! What, no big screen TVs? I wasn’t responsible for the charges, of course. But I would have to call the three credit agencies and tell them to put a fraud warning on my account. Basically, whenever I (or some punk ass crook) would try to open up a new line of credit, the company would have to call me and confirm that it was really me doing it.

Once since then I’ve gotten a call, someone else trying to open another card up using my SS#. Besides that one other time, I haven’t had any more problems. So I don’t have any plans to change my number yet, or anything. The good part is that i’m not really tempted to open up a bunch of store credit cards to save 10% because it’s such a pain in the ass process now.

Also, when my credit snarked a year and a half ago (ohhhh… you mean I had to make those payments EVERY MONTH???) I decided to get help from a consumer credit counseling company (great people, I highly recommend them if you’re feeling overwhelmed with credit bills), so they keep a close eye on suspicous activity as well.

Anyway…where was I? Oh, so I had to confirm that it was really me trying to get the phones, yes, I have a mortgage payment…it’s through Company X. Amount of my monthly payment? I haven’t a clue…that check goes out automatically through my bank’s online bill pay…I could look it up online? Not neccessary. I answered some more questions and we were on our way!

I got the LG6100. There was a fancier motorola phone I could have gotten for the same price, but it didn’t have as good user reviews. And really… I don’t need bluetooth. Kev opted for fancy and got the Treo600, which, if you’re interested, has come down SIGNIFICANTLY in price now that the Treo650 is out…and the only exciting new features is Bluetooth. Eh, who needs it! Now Kev and I BOTH have camera phones! We can take picture of each other while we both on the phone…WITH EACH OTHER!!! Ohh…I just want to ROLL AROUND NEKKID ON OUR COOL NEW PHONES!!!

but that would crush them and that would be bad…so I won’t.

So now I’m IN, BABY!!! Who’s IN with me? Let’s exchange numbers and CHAT ALL DAY! FREE!!!

***********
Public Service Announcement

Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl” will now be the official theme song for summer. Thank you.

***********
I didn’t realize they came in 5 gallon size…

Kev went to walmart to get his oil changed. He came back with SUPER LARGE jars of dill pickles and green olives.

I shudder to think what would happen if I ever got that boy into Sam’s club…

************
Sadie is shedding. Which means I’m doing a lot of this:

“Ack! ptooey! hack! *spit* bleah!”

I wish I could just vacuum all the hair she’ll eventually lose off of her. Unfortunately, the vacuum cleaner scares the CRAP out of her.

OK…I’m going to go play with my phone now!

Maybe I need a personal blog secretary

Published Wednesday, May 18, 2005 in misc and conversations. 0 Comments

Once again, I had a whole day of “i’m going to blog that!” and i have totally forgotten all of them. When I get my NEW phone with VERIZON I am SO GOING to take advantage of the voice memo feature.

“note to self: blog about gay men liking boobies”

and people will overhear…and STAAAARE at me! hooray!

and now I remember: gay men and boobies. It’s always been a bit of a mystery to us in the lab. The guy in the lab next to us is gay, but it took us a long time to confirm this, because whenever I spoke to him, he’d spend about 50% of the time staring at my boobages. WTF? He’s GAY!

But then on the radio station this morning, they were getting all kinds of gay men calling in talking about how they find boobs fascinating and sometimes wanted to…”cuddle” with women and boobies, but generally were still 99.9% of the time attracted to men. More than one said “I love boobs, I just don’t want them around me all the time.”

Ohhh…gay men can like boobs? I had NO IDEA!!! Do I have any gay male readers? You lurkers out there…I know you’re out there! Are you gay? Is this true?

Just take the goddamn compliment, already!

And speaking of gay men, it must be “boost ESC’s self-esteem” week again in the choir. Both C and L and have been telling me what a GREAT job I’m doing. Huh? You sit BEHIND me! And it’s not like I’m singing a solo, or anything.

I think they get a kick out of the weird look I get on my face when they do it. I just can’t take a compliment! Unless it’s about my shoes…or my outfit.

“i love your sandals, ESC!”

“ooh…thanks! I got them at Target!”

but…

“you did a great job singing today, ESC!”

“oh…ummm…hehe…thanks?”

***********

Screeching change of topic with no real transition.

I LOVE my dog. Oh My God…she is so FUN! I love how I can hide in a doorway, and then when she comes to see what I’m doing…I just CROUCH into a pounce position…and she TAKES OFF like a maniac, tearing around the condo at full speed! Then, of course, she can’t stand it any more, and slooooowly creeps back to see if I’m still in the doorway…and then I DO IT AGAIN! WE CAN DO THIS FOREVER! And then…she passes out from joyful doggy exhaustion. And…this is the best part…I have NOT EVEN broken a sweat.

I love my dog.

************

Funniest conversation snippet of the day

We were discussing TV shows in the lab, when A, an Italian man from the Euro-fabulous lab next door (though A himself is not Euro-fabulous. Maybe Euro-middle-aged-sweet-but-goofy?) walks over to chat.

Me: Hey, A! Do you watch Desperate Housewives?

A : ehh…a-no….I-a chase them!”

us: BWWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

do they still sell potato stix?

Published Tuesday, May 17, 2005 in misc and food. 0 Comments

Have you ever been in the grocery store, just doing some regular shopping, and then you spot a food item that just takes you back to your past? It’s been there every time you’re at the store, but you never really thought about it?

OK, maybe just me.

Like the other day at store, I was doing some shopping, and I walk past the refrigerated section in the back….let’s see…cheese…yogurt…don’t need margarine..and…HEY!!! PUDDING CUPS ARE ON SALE! Oh my god! I haven’t had pudding cups in YEARS!!!

Why the hell not? They’ve always been there…I could have picked some up any time! But…THAT day, dammit, I NEEDED PUDDING CUPS! I LIVED on pudding cups in college. Pudding cups and canned soup.

Then yesterday I was waiting in line at the check out at Wal…at just some store…hehe..trying DESPERATELY to ignore the hoards of screaming out of control children running up and down the aisle (SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!!!!) while their parents stared straight ahead and pretending not to notice…

When…SCORE! COMBOS!!! What a blast from the past! “combos combos..c-c-c-combos”

They’re just the perfect snack…pretzels…filled with CHEESE…BRILLIANT! WHY DO I NEVER BUY THESE? I used to eat them all the time as a kid. So HELL YEAH I picked up a bag, and took it to work today. Where Brenda saw them and informed me that Combos were the official snack of NASCAR. Whoa. I am TOTALLY WHITE TRASH, BABY!

*****************
hit or miss…really…

tonight for dinner: grilled chicken sandwich with fresh sliced tomatoes, saffron rice, corn on the cob, fresh salad.

yesterday’s dinner: corn dogs

you just never know what you’re going to get at Le Bistro de ESC

Screw you guys, I’m going home!

Published Monday, May 16, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments


Me in south park
Originally uploaded by evilsciencechick.

Because everyone else is doing it! I decided to make me into a south park character at fun site

as you can see, I’m enjoying a refreshing beverage on the beach. something I WISH i was doing right now. Also evident: I need a hair cut.

Weekend wrap up

Published Sunday, May 15, 2005 in relationship/sex and misc. 0 Comments

all work and no play…

both of us had to work this weekend. bleah! Kev just went in yesterday morning, but I’ve gone in both days. We keep making plans to see Hitchhiker’s, but it’s just not in the cards. Maybe next weekend.

together too long

Yesterday, after getting home from work, but before going out for dinner to stuff ourselves too full to do anything, we enjoyed a little afternoon “sumthin’ sumthin’”, as the kids say. While I was going down on him in the bedroom, a commercial came on TV (yes the TV was on…shut up!) for something called a “well patch” , which I believe is a kind of pain reliever. The commercial featured a fat guy doing some vaudevillish broadway number about the many uses and places you can use a “well patch.” it was a corny song and stupid commercial.

I stopped what I was doing mid…umm…swirl/suck…and announced “that guy looks like a really fat William Shatner” and Kev BURST out laughing. “I was thinking the exact same thing!!!!”

We had a good laugh, and continued on with our business, leading nicely into an off the side of the bed doggy-style pounding that left me walking funny for a few hours. No fat Shatner wannabe is going to ruin OUR fun!

But things like that have been happening a lot latey, where we blurt out the same thing at the same time or have the same thought. Creepy. We’ve definately been together too long!

That’s OK, though. :)

things that go ka-blam in the middle of the night

I was up way too late last night, shooting the shit on IM. (I’ve really got to find IM friends in my time zone), and by the time I crawl into bed it was well after 2. Kev was fast asleep, and he had sprawled out across the bed and had infiltrated my side. I gently eased him over, slid in, and nudge him some more until he rolled over, facing away from me. I had just gotten into a cozy spooning position with him, my body just barely pressed up to his back, my hand resting on his side, when…

PPPPRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBT!

“oh no you didn’t!!!” I hissed at him. BASTARD FARTED ON ME IN HIS SLEEP! He didn’t even twitch.

So after waving a pillow around a diffusing the smell, I finally drifted off to sleep.

Around 5am, I was awoken by soft thunder and rain. Nice…I like rain at night. The thunder was soft and rolling….I can juuuust drift off to sleep again…..

KA-BLAAAAM!!!

Holy shit! I think both of us jumped up two feet from the bed (no easy feat, laying down). Damn, that was a close one! I was still exhausted, but my heart was pounding a mile a minute, and the adreniline was flowing.

I could hear Sadie’s tags jingle from the livining room. Normally, thunder doesn’t bother her, but I don’t know ANYONE who wouldn’t have been shook up a little. I check on her, and sure enough, she had come out of her crate next to the windos, and was laying in the living room, ears back and flat against her head, eyes huge and scared.

Went back to the bedroom, just in time for another very loud CRACK of thunder, not quite as loud, but still unnerving. Kev was wide away. He rolled over to face me. “welll…since we’re up….”

haha…no thanks. I was still exhausted. We headed for the couch and flipped on the tv. Sadie, who had moved even FURTHER into the living room, away from the windows, was really freaked out. She ran over and buried her head in my lap. Poor girl.

Eventually, the storm died down a bit, and we both got to sleep, sans nookie. I do love a good thunderstorm…as long as it behaves itself!

Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont

the alarm went off WAAAAY too early for me this morning. ugh. Church. I’d skip, but I’ve missed the last two weeks.

So it’s warm, and I decide to put on the nice summery red outfit. How red? Very red. Really really red? YES, REALLY REALLY RED! With matching really really red sandals!

But SCORE! It’s Pentecost! So everyone is wearing red, and I fit right in, and I get lots of very nice compliments about how nice I look and how cool my sandals are.

The sanctuary is decorated in red: red sashes, red pulpit cover thingies, red communion tablecloth…and red balloons. Lots and lots of red balloons, for some reason, tied to the center aisle edge of the pews. And also throughout the church. Lots of red balloons…

And the entire service (which was really cool and energetic, Pentecost always brings out the good sermons) all I can sing in my head is: 99 red balloons…something something something something…

no one knows all the words, it’s in German.

But it was still funny. Sing it ALL DAMN DAY WITH ME NOW! 99…RED BALLONS…SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING…

Happy Pentecost! Go speak in tongues to someone you love.

and this is….NOT Walden pond

Published Friday, May 13, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

A couple of weeks ago in the lab, discussion turned to Boston. My friend and fellow grad student, Brenda, defended her thesis months ago, and recently went on several interviews for post doc positions, one of which was in Boston.

She’s decided to take the position in Boston.

First, this will be quite the change for her in her husband as they both grew up in Florida, then moved to Georgia.

Anyway, there are several of us yankees in the lab, so we’ve been regaling winter horror stories of the north, and sharing any Boston related stories we had with her.

I’ve only been to Boston once, in high school for a history club trip. It is a trip that lives in infamy, because for years afterwards, club trips were forbidden.

First of all, the trip was poorly organized. We drove up on a bus overnight, spent a day and night in Boston, and then drove back the third night. We hit a good number of typical historical type stuff: Walden Pond, Emerson’s house, the house of 7 gables, lots and lots of really old graveyards, we even drove to Salem to visit the witch museum. Fun! However, during all of this…chaos reigned!

The advisor to the history club, Mr KP, was a real man-ditz. He was more concerned with being considered cool (as cool as a creepy old man with a total of 8 eyebrow hairs, each 4 inches long, could be) than enforcing any real discipline. So we’d be driving around in the bus, going from one attraction to another, and then the bus would pull over in some random part of town, and Mr KP would announce “OK, you’ve got 45 minutes for lunch! be back at the bus at 1:00!”

wtf? We were teenagers, and you’re just dropping us off in the ghetto? There weren’t any fast food restaurants, only sit down places that would have taken longer than we had (by the time we’d find a place, check out the menu to see if we could afford it, sit down, order, wait for our meal…we’d have to be back at the bus!). The only places that were quick and plentiful were Au Bon Pains. And I pronounced it “a bon payne.” Finally, my friend Jen, who was taking French class, would whip around at me and in a voice out of the pit of hell, proclaimed “it is NOT ‘a bon payne!!!! it is uh bohn puh!!!!!!!”

whoa.

So anyway, it’s amazing that no one got lost, abducted, shot at, etc. There were, however, a group of delinquents that joined the club at the last minute, just so they could go on the trip and cause problems.

(that sentence sounds weird…like, “they weren’t in it for the history, man!” like we were, or something. it was more like: “dude! free trip to Boston! we’re SO there!”)

So they snuck alcohol and drugs on the trip and were pretty must wasted the entire trip. They’d scream HOOOOOOOTERS!!!!! out the bus window at every woman they saw on the street, and just basically be obnxious the whole time.

Hence, the cessation of class trips for many years afterwards.

However, the FUNNIEST thing about that trip were the two guys, G and D, who made it their mission to (and I am SO not making this up!) lick as many historical artifacts as possible, while no one was looking.

We’d be in some random historical house, learning about how they used to put out fires in the olden days, how every house had a leather bucket, and the townspeople would form a line and pass the buckets full of water down, and she’d cheerfully point out the bucket hanging by the steps, and then we’d move on to learn how they did laundry, and as soon as we walked away from the bucket, you’d hear this muffled laughter from the back of the group. I would turn around, and there would be G and D, laughing, and the authentic leather bucket, gently swaying on its hook, a small wet spot quickly drying on its side.

Oh, my, the fun that was had! I don’t even know how many artifacts they licked, but they got quite a few. So next time you’re touring some of the historical homes in Boston, take a close look at any writing tables or cookware you see….and think “G and D licked here.”

One other funny story from that trip. We took the bus to see Walden pond, as many of us had already read Thoreau’s snoozer about what a great naturalist he was (and by the way, he really wasn’t). The bus let us off near some woods, and we walked on a path until we found a body of water which was presumable Walden pond.

We weren’t impressed. There were houses on it. And no signs, or anything. We walked around, threw some rocks in the water. A couple of people filled up bottles with the water. G and D DRANK the water. We all took pictures. After a while, we had experienced all that Walden pond could teach us, we started walking back to the bus.

When we got back, someone realized that that hadn’t been Walden Pond.

Oops.

Apparently, there are two ponds: Walden pond, and then…another. Which we affectionately called “not walden pond.” So we hiked it back a little further out to the REAL Walden pond, which had NO houses on it, signs proclaiming the site with Thoreau quotes, a rock pile where former visitors wrote names and messages on rocks and piled them up. (”ummm…does anyone have a pen?” “nope” “dammit!”). And we repeated the whole experience again: rock throwing, water saving…drinking, etc)

Later, when we showed pictures to friends and family, we would say “this is Walden pond. This is NOT Walden pond”

OK, so maybe a lot of this is “oh well, you had to be there” stuff, but Brenda got a HUGE kick out of the licking thing and will hopefully look forward to the next few years in Boston.

She’s not looking forward to the rent payments. But dammit, they WILL enjoy the pre-licked historical artifacts!!!

things that will never stop making me giggle, #1087

Published Thursday, May 12, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

The announcer guy on NPR that sounds like a pirate:

“this is N-P-ARRRRRRRR!”

Some things

Published Tuesday, May 10, 2005 in rants, relationship/sex and misc. 0 Comments

recent things that have made me happy:

- in the morning, after Kev’s alarm goes off, he’ll get up and start his morning hygiene routine, while I lay in bed, half asleep, trying to concentrate on the Today Show. After he’s done shaving and brushing, sometimes Kev will come back over to the bed, naked, lie down, and spoon me for a few minutes. It’s just the most wonderful feeling in the world, our bare bodies touching from our heads (he’ll nuzzle my neck….mmmmm) all the way down to our toes. My body INSTANTLY relaxes and I feel very safe and warm and OK with the world. It only lasts for a few minutes, but it’s just the best way possible to start the day.

- last night for dinner I made wedding soup. Mmmm….I LOVE wedding soup!

- my new favorite website/blog is Natalie Dee. check her out - she’s over on my sidebar under “wish I were as cool as”. her art is coooool.

- summer is officially here, as I have finally put away all my summer clothes and packed away my winter ones. this week it is deliciously warm. next week will probably be cold, just to spite me.

recent things that have irritated the crap out of me:

- I had a great time with Kev’s family this past weekend, but OH MY GOD, I got NO SLEEP! Thanks to various barking stray dogs (SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!) and early morning wakeup calls by a particularly vocal whipoorwill. Have you ever hear the call of the whipoorwill? there is absolutely nothing beautiful about it. It’s constant, repetitive, and loud….and right outside my window. There were a few times I thought about finding Kev’s BIL’s shotgun and taking care of some business…

- I am still stuck in the hell that is cloning in the lab. I don’t understand it. the pieces are cut, they are purified, they are complementary. They should come together nicely. But they don’t. And I have wasted a month of my life on it. A month I will never get back. And I’m back to avoiding eye contact with my advisor.

future things that WILL annoy and please me, all at the same time:

- next monday is graduation. this is good, because it signals the start of an entire summer with no punk ass spoiled rotten college kids hanging around with no real worries in life, rich parents, and generally just irritating the crap out of me. oh, and taking up parking spaces in the garage. When they are gone there will be no line at the snack bar, and parking spaces on lower levels still at 10am. It will be GLORIOUS!

However, the actual day of graduation will be annoying as FUCK, because clueless parents and grandparents will take all the parking spots in the wrong garages, and then wander around lost, until they find ME:

“excuse me, do you work here?”

sigh “yes”

“can you please tell me where the Hugh W Jackman School of Basketweaving* building is?”

“No, I don’t know where that is, sorry.”

“but you said you work here!”

Look people, I am a graduate student. see this building right here? I live here. If it’s not in this building, I don’t know where it is. The only other buildings I ever go to are right next door, and only because there is either a snack bar or a library there. I don’t have a fucking clue where anything else is on this campus, please STOP ASKING ME!!!”

but what I really just say is “sorry!”

*I made that name up, I really don’t know the names of any other buildings on campus. they’re all named after old, dead Coca-Cola CEOs** and their beloved family members.

**I am not making that up.

So come monday, I will be getting in WAY early, and playing “operation: avoid the sweet but clueless family people”

- next week I will switch to verizon. the whole process seems easy enough, but I know there will be complications, because…THERE ALWAYS ARE! But I will get a NEW PHONE to replace the crappy, falling apart, no antenna, shuts off for no good reason phone I currently use.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Published Sunday, May 8, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Did you call your mom today? Send flowers? A gift? She’s only the woman that carried you in her body for 9 months, who went through excruciating labor, who fed you and raised you and changed your diapers and wiped away your tears and sent you to your room for being a smart-mouth and SACRIFICED EVERYTHING JUST FOR YOU ALL FOR YOU, AND YOU’RE SO UNGRATEFUL YOU COULDN’T EVEN CALL ON THIS ONE DAY????

Sorry.

I’m sure you all called and were good sons and daughters. I called my mommy today :)

So happy mother’s day to all the mom’s and moms-to-be out there!

Too bad he didn’t juggle, too

Published Friday, May 6, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

This morning while driving to work, I saw a guy riding a bike on the side of the road. Full gear, bike pants, helmet, looked like he was either doing his morning workout or his environmentally friendly morning commute. Nothing unusual, except…

it wasn’t a bike. It was a unicycle.

Like a little 5 second circus for my morning entertainment.

Hola! Como esta?

Published Thursday, May 5, 2005 in relationship/sex and misc. 0 Comments

Oh yeah, 3 years of high school spanish. That’s what I remember. And that’s probably wrong!

OK, so enough with the anger and the ranting and dealing with stupid people.

Happy Cinco de Mayo! To celebrate, for lunch I microwaved two small frozen burritos. I walk on the wild side.

Some random things that happened this week:

Jarring reminder that ESC lives in the South

I met the father of a girl who’s apparently buying the condo on the other side of mine, in the front of the building. We chatted for a while when I took Sadie out for a pee. He was complaining about the condition of the place, and how they were going to have to replace all the appliances. I was unsympathetic, because they’re getting the place for about $30,ooo less than what I paid, since it’s a forclosure. Then he started telling me that the previous owner had replaced the hardware in the bathroom showers, but didn’t replace the tiles that had to be removed to do so. He found this very annoying.

he asked me “Was she black?”

blink blink…the inner me really wanted to ask “what the hell does that have to do with anything?” but then I realized that he’d probably then TELL me, and that would be worse!

“Ummmm…no. actually, she was a very nice, older white woman.”

“Well, she didn’t replace those tiles, and just put PLASTIC WRAP over the empty spots. Isn’t that the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard? How much do a few tiles cost?”

Well, since she was forclosing, her motivation to spend money on the place was probably nill. But the implication that because the plastic wrap thing was so stupid, she must have been black annoyed the fuck out of me. I hope once his daughter moves in, that he’s not around much. I will probably be disappointed, though.

Why I love my boyfriend, reason #359

Now that he’s working again, Kev and I are now going to bed around the same time. So when it’s time for me to take Sadie out for her last pee of the day, he will come out with me, to make sure no big bad mean people abduct me. We’re usually ready for bed at this point. I just throw a sweater over my PJs, but Kev sleeps in his boxers. So instead of just putting on a coat, last night he grabbed a fleece blanket from a chair and threw it around his shoulders, almost like a cape. Then he just slipped on MY canvas flip flop sandals that were near the door, and followed me out…awkwardly, since the sandals didn’t fit him all that well.

I told him he looked like the funniest super hero ever.

ESC loves a good deal

I found out that since I’m getting paid by the school, Verizon will consider me a school employee, and will give me a 20% discount instead of a 10% student discount. WOOOOHOOOOO!!! Plus free phones for me and Kev, and no start up fee. So we’ll get two lines for $50 (plus fees, of course). Why did I not check into this back in November, when my sprint contract was up??? I really like Sprint, I’ve had them for 4 years now. But…damn…this is a good deal. SO LONG, SUCKERS!

It’s like Christmas! Christmas in May!

About a year and a half ago, I tore apart my closet looking for several pairs of jeans. They were no where to be found. It wasn’t long after the seasonal clothing change over, so I thought maybe they had been put away with the winter clothes. Nope, when the weather got cold, they were still no where to be found. I sadly concluded that they must have gotten mixed up with the “for Goodwill” pile and I would never see them again. I was really depressed about this, because among the missing was a cool pair that had a flowers appliqued’ (sp?) on the front left thigh, and they FIT really well. I’d pretty much forgotten about it, until the other night, when Kev was going through his dresser, figuring out which of his clothes qualifed as “business casual.” When he opened up the very bottom drawer, he said “oh, these are yours.”

“what?”

“these jeans. remember? you needed more space, so I let you use the bottom drawer.”

ohhhh…dimly…this was when he first moved in and I lost half my closet space.

He pulled out the jeans with the flowers on them. “haven’t you been looking for these?”

OH FRABJOUS DAY!!!!

4 pairs of jeans, once lost, now are found! The Old Navy boot cuts, though…ummm….are a little tight now. Ooops. Drat, I loved those. I will keep them, of course, because VERY SOON….well…THIS WEEK….ummm…NEXT WEEK FOR SURE I will go on my drastic, must lose weight, high school reunion is in July, crash diet.

Soon. Very soon.

spam spam spam spammity spam!

Published Thursday, April 28, 2005 in misc and links. 0 Comments

I’m torn.

I got what I believe was a spam email on my gmail account. But it was different than most spam email. For one, it didn’t try to sell me “c1alis” or “v1agra” or tell me that I need to “give her what she wants!” or anyting stupid like that.

It was simple, to the point…and intriguing….and against my better judgement…I clicked.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!

Oh…my….what a FABULOUS IDEA!!!! Because only the stupid religious right and only the most ignorant of politicians would fail to secure that domain name.

So…should I spread the spam joy around? I have no idea how I got on this list…but I’m lovin’ it.

It’s a little NSFW….no pictures, or anything…but some graphic descriptions. It’s one of those sites that says its one thing, but is really something quite different, in a very ironic and satiric way.

So…click at your own risk. Here’s the email:

patricia randall

to me
 

with….EXTRA CHEESE!!!!

Published Wednesday, April 27, 2005 in misc and food. 0 Comments

I am giving into the universe and snacking on cheese and crackers. BLEU CHEESE and crackers, and even more specifically “bleu D’Auvergne” that’s “unpasteurized”. Deadly! deadly french unpasteurized cheese! Closest thing to an orgasm you can spread on a cracker. Mmmmmmm….

*****

Briefly watched “fear factor” as a guy tried to choke down a thousand year old egg. Kev noted that they were a delicacy in some countries.

I wonder…if there is an equivalent to “fear factor” in those “some countries,” and if it goes something like this:

“you challenge…if you can do it…is…to eat…

THIS WHOLE CHEESE PIZZA!!!!!”

absolute look of disgust on contestants face as he stuffs down some of the weekly Dominoes special

“oooohhhhh…no! he threw it up! no prize for you! next contestant….you must eat….A BEEF AND BEAN CHEESEY BURRITO!!!!”

gaaaagggggg!

Is our food disgusting in other cultures? Probably. Who cares?

stuffs down more unpastuerized fancy french cheese on saltines

No thanks necessary

Published Wednesday, April 27, 2005 in rants and misc. 0 Comments

…for the imminent drop in gasoline prices. I just filled up my tank, pretty much guaranteeing that prices are going to drop by about 10 cents today or tomorrow. The only reason they’ve been so high recently is that my tank has been on empty for a few days. I was waiting, thinking that THIS time would be different…just maybe.

But no.

I blinked first, and filled my tank.

So please, no applause, I am not a hero. I just have really REALLY bad luck at the gas stations.

Humbly (and by humble, I mean POOR),

ESC

Meanwhile, back in Egypt…

Published Tuesday, April 26, 2005 in daily, misc and food. 0 Comments

So what have I been doing to pass the time?

Last thursday
morning: get to work, only one person there. Oh yeah…duh! PRODUCT SHOW! FREE STUFF AND FOOD! sweet! rush back to lab for…
afternoon:lab meeting, then lunch at Panera with lab alumnus in town for Passover
rush to get some kind of work done, then rush to get home for…
evening: dinner with AJ! Oh yeah, I met him. We’re totally close. You jealous?

Now, did I remember to bring my camera to the momentous meeting of another blogger? You be your sweet bippy! Did I remember to USE it? Oops. no. sorry. My bad.

AJ, Kev, and I had a very nice long dinner at Raging Burrito, enjoying large tubes of meat, rice, and beans and also margaritas. It was probably the margaritas that kept us chatting WAAAAY longer than I thought we would. It’s a school night, after all! And Kev was just a little bored, poor guy, as AJ and I gossipped about other bloggers and such. Don’t worry, we didn’t say anything about YOU! And we most CERTAINLY didn’t talk about THAT!

And Mikey? Long distance hugs RIGHT BACK ATCHA!

So yeah, thursday I ate A LOT OF FOOD!

Friday….ummm…what did I do friday? Made portabella burgers. Yeah, that was the highlight.

Saturday, SHOPPING! I blogged about that already.

Sunday: church, work, then…MORE SHOPPING! but annoying shopping. walmart, target, home depot. I was sooo annoyed. I wanted some semi-decorative hooks to put in my kitched to hang some decorative items on. I found what I wanted: they’re called robe hooks. about $2.50 for a pack of two. Walmart had them, plus they carried wall anchors, which I needed because the hooks would be going into dry wall. But for reasons too long to go into (OK, Kev got mad because their price matching policies SUCK! it has to be the EXACT SAME BRAND OF MILK? ARE YA KIDDING ME???)

Ummm…so anyway, we ended up at Target, which also had the robe hooks, but no wall anchors. I’d have to go to Home Depot. This was fine, we also needed some halogen light bulbs. And I decided I might as well wait and buy the robe hooks at Home Depot, too. Surely they carried them, they’re just simple, painted metal hooks!

Nope.

No robe hooks. They didn’t really know what I was talking about. So dammit, no “this old house” projects for me on saturday. But I DID highlight my hair! Yay! Looks pretty good. Need to take an “after” picture, though.

Today I went to the Dekalb County Farmers Market, aka “ESC’s heaven on earth.” Sloth has her shoes, I have a huge building filled with exotic foods, fresh fruits and veggies, and international cheeses.

I spent alot more than I intended. Three bottles of wine, semolina flour, sweet onions, fresh mushrooms, tomatoes, garlic, mocha java coffee beans, tilapia fillets, strawberry and cream cheese croissants, bananas, mangoes, strawberries, fresh lobster ravioli (ON SALE!), and my favorite: some pungent gourmet french bleu cheese (for the massive burgers I made tonight..HAHA! TAKE THAT, FRENCHIE! I PUT YOUR CHEESE ON A BURGER! AND IT WAS GOOOOOOD!) just to name a few things. Yeah, I bought a lot. BUT we were celebrating!

Kev got a new job! He just got the offer today: more money, shorter commute, better opportunities, and hopefully, a LOT more job satisfaction. SO YAY! WAY TO GO BABY!

I stuffed him full of bleu cheesey grilled burgers, fresh fruit, and steamed broccoli. Then HE stuffed me full of…ummmm…hehe….yeah. That was fun. Mmmmm….good times. Excellent crop usuage as well.

So I’ve been keeping myself pretty occupied the past few days. Thanks everyone for your support - you are all wonderful :)

no time like the present

Published Monday, April 11, 2005 in misc and family. 0 Comments

I am debating whether or not I can afford these for my mom for mother’s day. Found them via PopGadget. Not sure if it’s worth paying that much for plates she’d only use if she made spaghetti. And I don’t think she cooks as much as she used to, now that it’s just her and dad. Hmmmm…they are COOL, though, and I know she’d appreciate the coolness and novelty of them.

I could go for the plastic ones, but that just seems so cheap. Bleah. I have to think about this some more.

*************
One of my new sandals has sprung some kind of leak. Every time my left foot hits the ground it makes a little “pffff” sound. I don’t know how to fix it, and I hope it goes away REALLY QUICKLY because I’m tired of sounding like a walking queef all day.

And might I just add that I bought those sandals for $8 and thought “wow, I’m cool and set for the summer!” and then I read about Sloth’s $600 shopping spree and now I’m feeling very inadequate.

************
Speaking of gifts, my brother’s birthday is coming up and I need to get him something. Anyone got any ideas for something to give to a 25 year old nocturnal tatoo artist who lives with his girlfriend and only wears black?

Saturday blogging

Published Saturday, April 2, 2005 in daily, misc and family. 0 Comments

I watched CNN all night yesterday, and then all morning and part of the afternoon today…waiting. I wanted to be glued to the TV when it happened, I wanted to hear the announcement, I wanted to hear the bells.

A little after 2, I decided that it was time to change out of my PJ’s and go to the lab for a little while. I had cultures to start, and plates and tubes to set up for monday.

I get home around 4, turn on the TV, and D’OH! HE HAD DIED RIGHT AFTER I LEFT! Dammit.

I am not catholic, and you KNOW I’m not particularly reverent. I disagree with alot of what the Catholic church and the pope have stood for: their views on homosexuality, their stance on birth control, their anti-abortion stance.

But I respect a man who has led a good and holy life. A man who has stood up for his beliefs and who has done much to spread the faith. A man who has spoken out against war, against communism, against the slaughter of innocents during ethnic cleansing.

You have done good work with your life, Karol. May you rest peacefully in God’s embrace.

***************************
I talked to Kev last night. His mom is in good spirits, but has a long recovery ahead of her. She had to have a full hip replacement. Her shoulder is set, and her arm is bound to her torso, no cast. When she gets out of the hospital (we don’t know when that will be), she’ll have to go to a rehabilitation center for at least a month.

ugh. poor Kev’s mom. He spent last night with her in the hospital. Probably tonight, too.

He’ll be home tomorrow. His sister and her family live close to his mom, so they’ll make sure she get’s taken care of. We’ll probably both make a trip there soon, to see her.

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I got another charley horse in bed this morning. That’s twice this week! Why do they call it a “charley horse,” anyway? that is WAY too cute a phrase for such a vicious, painful event. Why don’t they call it “sharp, pointy knives stabbing into your calf muscle,” because THAT’S what it feels like.

Dammit. I’ve been limping all day.

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If you’re looking for a nice treat, I highly recommend Godiva’s chocolate covered cookies and cream ice cream. mmmmmmm….

what?

I bought a pint of it to console myself during my weekend alone!

Obligatory April Fool’s Nonsense…

Published Friday, April 1, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

1. I’m quitting my blog, it takes up way too much of my time, and blah blah blah whine whine nobody likes me and there’s a big conspiracy against me, blah blah whine blah.

2. I’m pregnant. Yep, just got the results of the test. Peein’ on that little wand thingie. I used the new digital ones because I’m too stupid to interpret a “+” and “-”.

3. When Kev found out I was pregnant, he left me. Packed up all his shit and moved out last night. Said he’s not ready to be a dad. Just as well, I’m not entirely sure he’s the father anyway.

4. The pope is dying.

oops, that last one is true. sorry. Unless that some kind of really cruel Vatican april fool’s joke, in which case I’d be really pissed…though very impressed.

The truth:

I will give up my blog when someone wrenches it from my cold, dead hands.
I am not pregnant.
If I were, Kev would TOTALLY BE THE FATHER, C’MON, PEOPLE, GEEZ-USSS!

Kev IS gone for the weekend. His mom fainted and fell the other day, breaking a hip and messing up her shoulder. She had surgery and is still in the hospital. So Kev’s headed to alabama to see her - right into the mess that is our weather right now. Greeeaaaat.

It was kind of a crappy week for the whole lab, so I instituted the emergency “cheer everyone up” plan, which is basically THAI FOOD DELIVERY! So yummy thai food for lunch and everyone’s mood has improved noticably. Also, we had an afternoon meeting with terra chips and cookies. Sugar rush commensing….now. Ahhhh….

I will be ALL ALONE this weekend (unless you’re a stalke/killer, in which case I will be ALL ALONE…WITH my snarling drooling vicious dog, Sadie. Don’t let the pictures fool you, she’ll LICK YOUR LEG OFF, BASTARD!). Sounds like a good excuse to go shopping! Wal…I mean that store that shall not be named…HERE I COME! Maybe Target, too. Weather is warm, I need nice new clothes now!

So far today I have been left un-Punk’d. April fools is such a non event! When I was little I would make silly hats and sun glasses and wear them to school. Oh yeah, I was the most popular kid in my class, didn’t you know. Those were rocks of LOVE the kids were throwing.

Have a sweeet weekend, kids! ;)

Another thing…

Published Thursday, March 31, 2005 in misc and geeking out. 0 Comments

…to add to my wishlist!

You have died of dysentery

When I was in elementary school, there were two computers that were shared by every student in that school. If you wanted to use one of the computers, your name went on a waiting list. Once every few months, you got a beautiful chance to sit in front of one of the amazing machines and play one of three games:

1. word/math muncher

2. some game where you’re a fish and you have to elude predators

3. Oregon trail

Oh my god, oregon trail. The best and worst game ever invented. Even more primative than those adventure games where you have to tell the game what you want to do every screen:

“what do you want to do now”

type: g-o p-o-o-p

“I’m sorry, I do not understand that command”

Oregon trail gave you several options, and you picked. Whatever you picked, you were screwed.

Oregon trail was a game where you could buy supplies, name your children “butthead” and “fartface”, and basically, die a slow, miserable death as you crossed the wild wild west. This was overshadowed by the absolute joy you and your friends got when the words “Butthead has cholera” flashed on the screen. HAHAHAHAHAAA!! THE COMPUTER SAID “BUTTHEAD”.

Oh yeah.

You family was always starving, and no matter how big the bear was that you shot, you could only carry 200lbs back. No asking Fartface for help, Oregon trail was not advanced enough for that. And that 200lbs of gamey bear meat would last your family all of 3 days. WTF? Your family apparently also had tapeworms, from their voracious appetites.

Every time you crossed a river, your axle would break OR your oxen would drown.

Your kids always died. Disentary, cholera, pneumonia, didn’t matter HOW MUCH BEAR MEAT you crammed down their maws, they always died.

Eventually, YOU would die. I didn’t know anyone who ever actually made it to Oregon.

Ah…good times….goooood times…

Since I’m already going to hell…

Published Tuesday, March 29, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Any chance we’ll get lucky and he’ll fall into a vegetative state?

‘Cause that would be a real shame.

it’s terrible and wrong and just plain WRONG!

Published Monday, March 28, 2005 in misc and links. 0 Comments

but why can’t I stop laughing? IT IS WRONG! AND TERRIBLE!!!

this

never mind, pretend you never saw this. read my earlier post about cloning, because I assure you that it’s HILARIOUS! CLONING HILARITY! JUST BELOW! NO INAPPROPRATE REFERENCES TO A POOR VEGETATIVE WOMAN HERE!!!

Here there be monsters

Published Saturday, March 26, 2005 in misc. 0 Comments

Just watched an animal planet special on dragons. It was cool, but weird. It was made as if dragons were real. There were speculations about it’s anatomy, mating habits, offspring rearing…

all narrated by Patrick Stewart, which gave it all an air of authority.

Very real.

Very surreal.

What’s the buzz?

Published Friday, March 25, 2005 in misc and Religion!. 0 Comments

I did not go see Mel Gibson’s “the passion of the christ.” I had heard enough about it to know that it was something I didn’t really need to experience. Mr Gibson is obviously a very disturbed man, to focus so much on the blood and gore. Not that I believe that understanding Jesus’ suffering isn’t important, but I think I heard someone sum it up the best: too much crucifixion, not enough resurrection.

And isn’t that the POINT? The resurrection bit? Any criminal could be crucified, but Jesus resurrectified…or whatever that verb would be.

Anyway, I’m totally being a hypocrite about that, because I LOVE “jesus christ superstar,” and I’ve been bopping around the lab listening to the soundtrack on my ipod. JCS is ALL about the events of holy week, up to but NOT really including the resurrection.

However, there is MUCH less gore than in Mel’s movie.

Maybe if Mel had included a kick ass soundtrack that included Jesus rocking out: “WHHHYYYYY should YOU want to know, don’t you mind about the future….”

and a really gay Herod, maybe.

THAT would have been great, and I would totally have gone to see that movie.

now if you’ll excuse me…

“see my eyes I can hardly see, see me stand I can hardly walk, I BELIEVE you can make me whole…”

Cheering me up while I’m sick…

Published Sunday, March 13, 2005 in misc and links. 0 Comments

Just clicking around, trying to amuse myself.

You don’t tell me about your personal Savior….

bwwahahahahaaaaahahahaaaaa*cough hack cough*hahahaaaaaaa!!!!!

****************

THUNDER! Also cheering me up! The weather was warm, sunny, and beautiful all day. I’m wearing SHORTS! Suck it, snowbound!

No rain, just thunder. And I’m enjoying sitting on my porch, watching the lightning. Dragged my sick ass to wal-mart yesterday (yeah yeah, evil empire, taking over the world, blah blah blah) and bought some potted herbs and a big ficus. All my houseplants died when I put them outside and didn’t bring them in before the first frost. Oops. Now I’ve got my little balcony garden growing nicely.

Oooo…more thunder!

Making me horny. I’m pretty sure sex is good for colds, right?

This is the title of my post

Published Monday, March 7, 2005 in rants, misc and food. 0 Comments

fuzzy math

1 small glass of orange juice + 1 smoothie + 1 coffee + 16 oz 3 calorie lightly carbonated fruit drink = around 15 trips to the bathroom so far today

at least I know my kidneys are functioning properly

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mama bear

When I was in college, my friends used to joke that I was the “mom” of the group. This is funny, since I don’t think I have many maternal qualities. But I always looked after my friends. Made sure they got back to their rooms OK after a long night of drinking. Got everyone up on the weekends to go eat brunch. Was the voice of reason (even when falling down drunk) for friends who weren’t sure if they should go home with the random guy at the party. (”that guy?? hellll no! didn’t he give Leslie some kind of itchy STD thing last month????”)

I also could be an overprotective beeotch. I broke up fights. I stood up for friends in trouble. And when one of my friends was being an unreasonable jackass, I gave them a verbal smack upside their heads.

I am no diplomat. I have no tact. I don’t mince words. My verbal smack downs carry quite a sting, but they are generally effective.

You can mess with Mama Bear, but DON’T mess with Mama Bear’s friends.

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conundrum

I enjoy cooking big, belly satisfying dinners.

But after eating a big, belly satisfying dinner, some activities become difficult. There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling amorous, and wanting…well…a “reward” for cooking such a great dinner…but being totally incapable of doing more than laying on the couch like a beached whale, with my pants unbuttoned, gently falling asleep.

and the object of my affections in a similar state. though he tries…

“sorry babe. I can help you out, though”

“zzzzmmzzzzzz…snk….zzzzz”

I think we’ll eat carrots and chicken broth for the rest of the week!

EXHAUSTION!

Published Sunday, March 6, 2005 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Blogger visitations, Kitchen aid attachments, and other such goodness

I love having friends come to visit…but I am EXHAUSTED! Is it the weekend yet? I mean NEXT weekend! I had my mom’s visit, then Kev’s family in Alabama, then blogger visits this weekend…whew!

We did have a great weekend, though! Saturday morning I had a dress rehearsal for choir, but then we met up and walked around Little 5 points, shopping in the funky stores and having a yummy decadent lunch at The Vortex. Kev had to work, but we met up with him later at Fry’s, the huge electronics store I’m always raving about. Jamie has been wanting to go there for awhile. She didn’t buy anything, but I picked up a pasta-extruder attachment for my Kitchen Aid for $20, and Turbo Tax. As soon as I get my laptop back, it’s tax time!

Kev loooooves that store, so by the time we dragged him out of there (kicking and screaming! hehe..just kidding sweetie) and got back to our place it was almost 8. Time for a late dinner of yummy ham, mushroom, and cheese risotto, fresh bread, and salad. We had good intentions of heading out to a bar…but with full bellies and too much tequila in our margaritas, we never quite made it. Just as well, as they had to get an early start in the morning.

Stupidly, I carried my camera around everywhere, and took not a single picture.

Oh well.
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gay men and my self esteem

This morning was Handel’s Messiah….finally! It went really well, even the “we like sheep” song! Got a little panicky in the “the lord gave the word,” as the sopranos rushed and the bases dragged. Gah! But it all came together in the end. and it’s over THANK GOD!!!!

There is a guy in the bass section, C, who is always telling me how great the altos sound, and how great I’m doing. Today he told me that he listened for me during the whole performance so that he could get his timing right. Shit. I screwed up a few times. Hope he wasn’t listening TOO carefully. But he always goes out of the way to compliment me every time he sees me.

I would think he was hitting on me, but I happen to know that he lives happily with his partner, L, also in the bass section. He always seems like he’s trying to build up my ego, which is pretty weird…do I seem like my self esteem is especially poor? Or maybe there’s an “adopt a straight girl” section of the Gay Pages (don’t laugh - ask Jamie. Atlanta has the Gay Pages) and C picked me. Maybe at meetings (I don’t know…gay meetings? maybe there’s a club? I’m going to hell for thinking that, aren’t I?) he holds up my picture and says “this my straight girl, Evilsciencechick. She’s doing well. Yesterday she sang the trill correctly, and wore a great pair of boots.”

It’s funny, but sweet. I cling deperately stereotype that if I have the approval of at least one gay man, my fashion sense must be pretty decent. Umm…right?

I often have inappropriate thoughts like that. It’s only the faintest thread of control that keeps me from blurting it out loud. Things like “so, how long have you been in a wheelchair?” to people I’ve just met. What’s worse is when someone tells me beforehand “whatever you do, don’t mention his/her _____!” Ack! Don’t tell me that!!! It’s like back in august at my grandmother’s funeral, whem my mom told me to watch what I say because this couple had a gay son. What? Who cares?? But suddenly, all I wanted to do was blurt things out like “wow, is that gay” or overuse the word “fabulous.”

Thank god I have this blog where I can write it all down without fear of judgment.

So how long have you had that weird thing on your nose?

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And now I’m at work sucking down coffee. can’t wait to go home and NAP!

stream of consciousness…

Published Tuesday, May 25, 2004 in daily and misc. 0 Comments

Here’s the fire story

Today has been really quite boring. K just called to ask if we needed anything from Publix besides hamburger rolls. I remember that there was something else we needed, but now can’t for the life of me imagine what it was. Oh well. I’ll have to go to publix yet again tomorrow to get my prescription refilled. Yay Epi-pens. They save my life if I eat a nut, but my insurance company still won’t cover them. My theory being that it’s cheaper for them for me to die. So I have to shell out $130 bucks for two of them every year. Thankfully, I needed the refill because my old ones expired, not because I used them. That would be even more expensive. I’m trying to avoid random medical bills right now. I tend to get sick in clusters, meaning that I can go years without anything more than my yearly checkups, and then have a month where I’m at the doctor’s office 6 times for 3 separate conditions. Hate that. Hate that the nurse there knows my name without looking at my chart (she’s really nice, though).

What was I talking about? Hamburger buns?

Bored bored bored.

My Condo Sucks

Published Sunday, May 2, 2004 in rants and misc. 0 Comments

It does. Well, not my condo itself, just the complex, and especially the association and management. Here’s my advice to the kids out there: don’t buy a condo. Drink, do drugs, and have sex, but DO NOT EVER EVER EVER BUY A CONDO!!!

Unless you want to buy my condo. It’s lovely - 2BR/2BA, new fridge and stove, new parquet flooring in entryway and kitchen (I like the home improvement shows), located inside the perimeter and an absolute steal at $110,000. If you want to buy a condo, then please buy mine.

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