Archive for July, 2006

ya had a bad day…

Published Monday, July 31, 2006 in rants, daily and TMI. 9 Comments

I spent much of this morning in the bathroom, wondering what the hell I ate this weekend that is so torturing my lower innards.

I got to the library on campus. I noticed 3 things:

1. it was colder than ann coulter’s snatch

2. some bitch had taken my usual spot

3. the wireless internet wasn’t working

I set up my laptop at another desk…uhhh…close to the ladies room, just in case, and tried to work. I got two sentences typed before my brain just gave out. My stomach hurt, I couldn’t access my folder on the server or pubmed, and I was freezing my ass off.

I know it’s hot as fuck out, people, but many of us dress appropriately for the weather, we don’t need the AC set at “sub-arctic.” Later, it occurred to me that this happens alot in the south, and this is why I see many natives, especially college girls, wearing their expensive “I don’t care and still look fabulous” velouresque workout (HA!) pants all summer. And sweatshirts. When it’s 95 degrees out. It all makes sense to me now.
I left the library and headed the lab, to do the minimal of lab work that needed to be done. Then left. Before noon. Ugh. Playing hooky, but feeling too ill to enjoy any of it. I passed out on the couch for most of the afternoon, and managed a can of chicken soup without feeling the urge to sprint to the bathroom.
This must be my punishment for the skipping of church and pre-marital sex, huh Vince? ;)

What else can I bitch about? Oh…my boogers are still white with the dust from sanding the joint compound in the entranceway yesterday. Aren’t you glad you know that?
Anyway, the GOOD news is that Kev played hooky from work this morning to take two of his computer-type something or other network certification tests. He aced BOTH of them. Yay Kev!

Published Sunday, July 30, 2006 in aside. 1 Comment

Go to Target. Buy their Archer Farms Parmesean Garlic home-style kettle-cooked potato chips. Bring them home. Open the bag.

Now…TRY not to eat them all in one sitting. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Published Sunday, July 30, 2006 in aside. 0 Comments

Cooking Cute - I am addicted, and would LOVE to make my own little bento meals for lunch every day!  If I had the time and energy.  Bah!

A morning of ups and downs.

Published Sunday, July 30, 2006 in daily, relationship/sex and weekend warriors. 9 Comments

MOSTLY ups.
In order to increase the chances of my going to hell, I decided to play hooky from church and the choir* this morning so I could sleep in and have lazy weekend morning sex with Kev.

*shit like this always backfires on me. later I will find out that there were NO altos there, so the choir really struggled, but then somehow the sermon was totally awesome, best ever given, half the congregation in tears, and then afterwards there were cookies.

Just as we were about to enjoy an appropriate post-lazy weekend morning sex breakfast of fried eggs, toast and bacon, I heard “OH SHIT!” and saw Kev sprint to the laundry room faster than I have EVER seen that boy move before. The load of laundry he had started only minutes before had somehow OVERFLOWED the washer, and water was pouring out everywhere…beginning to flood our laundry room, and coming DANGEROUSLY close to soaking our NEW FUCKING FLOOR in the hallway.

crap.

we got it cleaned up, but we are now out of clean towels. Oh, and no washing machine.

It’s probably OK, just a freak accident, but we are mistrustful. Fortunately, we do have a washer/dryer set of Kev’s in storage, that we were planning on keeping with us after the move…BUT…

It’s a nice set, but cheap. We can move them in here, sell them with the condo, and then buy a NEW set when we move. With wedding money. That I wanted to use to buy a new couch.

Oh well.

Oh, did I mention Sadie tried to eat Kev’s abandoned eggs? Because for her, food left on plate and on the floor, is fair game. I managed to snatch it away before she fully dug in…and it is a testament to how far Kev has come that he decided to eat them anyway. there are worse things.

And we’ve been on boil water restrictions all weekend because of a water line break north of here. THE FUN NEVER ENDS!!!!

ANWAY…with that wonderful start to the day…I decided to make some good things happen.

WE HAVE A HONEYMOON!!!!

A week after the wedding (just worked out better for us timing wise, though I will probably regret not sprinting out of the reception straight to the beach), we will be laying on a white sandy beach riiiight…here.

We rented a house just 100 steps away from the beach. (Those right ON the beach were a little out of our price range, unless anyone out there has a few thousand dollars they’d like to lend us. No? Ok then).

We can do our own thing: swim, fish, rent a boat, rent bikes, grill, and fuck each others brains out without worry that someone on the other side of the wall will get all bitchy about it.

It’s going to be WONDERFUL!!! Ahhhh…I can’t FUCKING WAIT!!!!

OK. back to scrape drywall. Don’t ask.

conversationettes

Published Saturday, July 29, 2006 in food and conversations. 2 Comments

2am

Kev: *sigh* I can’t sleep!

ESC: mmzzzz…hmmm…turn on the tv…I don’t mind

Kev: meh

ESC: put it on CNN, that’ll put you to sleep

Kev: current events will just piss me off

ESC: hmmmzzzz…the weather channel?

Kev: that will just piss me off

ESC: mmmzzzz…hehehehe…

Kev: hehehehe

ESC: dammit, don’t make me laugh when I’m sleeping.

Kev: HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

OK, maybe that was funnier at 2am.
*********************

I made brownies the other night. The following evening…

Kev: *on the phone with me* Hey babe, I’m on my way home

ESC: I think I should tell you…I think we got broken into today…

Kev: what??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN???

ESC: wellll….I got home from work today…and HALF the brownies are gone!!!

Kev: dammit. you almost made my heart stop.

ESC: uh huh. brownie thief!

I just ate the last piece whie typing this. MMMM BROWNIES!!!

request for good voodoo

Published Friday, July 28, 2006 in photos, ask blogland and friends. 9 Comments

Please send prayers, good vibes, happy thoughts, chants, good voodoo, and variously scented incense smoke out to my friend Elizabeth.

Elizabeth is one of my bridesmaids, and one of my best friends. Last week she gave birth via C-section to her second child - the beautiful and healthy lil’ L. However, the docs screwed up BIG time stitching her back up after the C-section, and the incision came open. They had to rush to the doctor, who cleaned it out and stuffed it with gauze. She’ll have to go back in for surgery on Monday to reclose it.

Needless to say, she’s in pain and very pissed. The docs are falling all over themselves to fix things - they know they screwed up. But regardless, she’s got a newborn baby and 1 and a half year old little boy who need their mommy, and she can’t do anything about it because she’s got a HUGE GAPING WOUND across her belly!!!! ‘

*shudder*

I feel like punching some doctors. But that won’t do any good.

So please keep Elizabeth, her husband, and their babies in your prayers!! Hopefully, the doctors will get it right the second time and all will be well.

Here is lil’ L, at one day old:

Lily

ESC. 2006 “referenced by many, respected by none” …but mostly rants. 28:951.

Published Thursday, July 27, 2006 in science!. 5 Comments

The thing that is bugging me the most about the writing, is the whole “book report” aspect of it. 90% of the writing is making sure you’ve read and referenced 10,000 other papers on the subject. Soooo many references. I have to look up every damn paper that ever vaguely touched on my subject and make sure it is properly referenced and the data from that paper discussed and put into context of my data. And if it takes anyone longer than 10 minutes to write a paper, you can be damn sure that even MORE papers will come out that have to be integrated into your paper and properly referenced. A paper has to be over half references, as if we’re all screaming LOOK HOW MANY PAPERS I’VE READ! BEAT THAT WHY DON’T YOU!

Except one of the many dirty secrets of science is that hardly ANYONE reads all those papers they’ve referenced. What you do is read a few of the papers, and then see who THEY’VE referenced on a particular subject, and then just add that to yours. The problem is…mistakes happen.

I read an article a while back…in Science? Nature? Dammit, now I can’t find it. And hey, my school doesn’t have an online subscription to Science, isn’t THAT a kick in the pantz?

Anyway, this article revealed that most papers contain some sort of reference error, because someone way back made a mistake in referencing something, and then that mistake was carried on through more papers on the subject. Because nobody reads those references, they just copy, paste, and move on with their lives.

It only comes out that a mistake was made when some hapless grad student (hello!) has to go back and come through reference after reference to figure out how a particular strain construction was done, and finds out that the original paper referenced IS NOT THE RIGHT PAPER!

*weep* yes, that’s happened to me.

So will I buck the system and double check EVERY REFERENCE in my paper to make sure that they are all correct and all accounted for?

Hells no. I’m too lazy for that. I’m trying to at least skim most of them, anyway.

happy writing distractions

Published Wednesday, July 26, 2006 in science! and links. 14 Comments

I am deliriously happy. From Slashfood, I found out that all the clips from the muppet show featuring the Swedish Chef have been compiled in one site.

I weep for joy.

I seem to have a hard time getting the ball rolling for writing. This is how my morning schedule seems to go:

stop at lab, make coffee

arrive at library

set up laptop

turn on and connect

check email

open paper in word

check blog for comments

read over what I wrote yesterday for my paper

respond to comments

make a few grammer corrections, fill out a sentence or two

check for new comments

write a bit

email Julie

pubmed search old paper

write a bit

open bloglines

write a bit

pubmed search old paper

find a new paper, download pdf and skim for importance, will print and read later

check email, respond to Julie

write a bit

pubmed search, find another new paper

shit, it’s in a “methods in _____” book. bitch quietly about how “methods in” book should not be listed with journals, as is not TRUE journal, and can’t be accessed online.

ignore fact that i am in library and can probably find it in stacks if I apply myself

sip cold coffee

read more blogs

write

email julie

write

skim old paper

write

email Julie

write

write write write write write…I’M IN THE ZONE, BABY!

write write write write…lunchtime. back out of the zone from hunger pangs.

back to the lab

cultures are contaminated

attempt to print out new papers, error, won’t print

*sigh*

blog

food mojo

Published Tuesday, July 25, 2006 in craftiness and food. 11 Comments

It’s no secret that I spent June and most of this month a seething ball of stress. During that time, I would try to relax on the couch, and as I was relaxing, my insides felt like they were planning a revolt and were intending to jump out of my body.

And also, I could not eat. This was NOT because I was pregnant, because I’M NOT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! But because that much stress takes my stomach and smooshes it way down to the bottom of my abdomen and then beats it up. Hard to even look at food when your stomach gets beat up every day.

However, as is my pattern, when the stress is LIFTED, the appetite returns, and I look at food like a starving man looks at…uhh…food….

OK, no more metaphors.

Anyway, I’m hungry again, AND I’m working hard - in the library every morning spewing scientific super-babble into my laptop, and in the lab in the afternoons. Plus I just came from a very stressful time. Therefor, the little “I DESERVE A REWARD” center of my brain lights up. So I not only want food, I want GOOD FOOD!!!

I’m back in the kitchen, baby.

Now, I hate to post too much about what I make, because I know it only makes some people jealous and hungry. I’m looking at Julie, with her cereal and olive dinner. Ew.

Sunday: Grilled juicy steak salad, with big chunks of veggies, and an avacado ranch dressing. Served with grilled polenta.

Monday: Grilled Salmon served with a wilted spinach salad topped with bacon and bleu cheese. Also more grilled polenta (used up the tube)

(shut up, I know I can make my own polenta, the tube was on sale)

(OK, it wasn’t on sale. I just felt like being a little bit lazy, OK? Is that a crime? Get off my back)

Tuesday: mini meatloafs, garlic smashed red potatos, and a cucumber, tomato, and feta salad.

While not exactly low in fat…and extremely indulgent…I am just glad I have my food mojo back.

Look what other mojo I got back: I give you…

Procrastinella the Pig

pig in profile

cute piggy face

pig butt!

Her butt’s a little lopsided, I’m pretty sure that one leg isn’t supposed to stick out sideways like that…but she’s my first attempt at a knit toy. I shall keep her by my side as I write.

gold medal procrastinator

Published Monday, July 24, 2006 in craftiness. 9 Comments

When I wasn’t painting or scraping wallpaper this weekend, I SHOULD have been writing. Writing writing writing…it’s what I’m doing now…I mean, before I started typing this post as a method of procrastination.

aside: Writing…what’s another word for “nascent,” because I think I’m using it WAY too much.

Anyway…I didn’t write this weekend. Instead I decided to do something I haven’t done since the temperature got above 70F…I picked up the knitting needles. I have all this pink soft acrylic yarn leftover from the baby blanket…I really needed to use it up. really! I swear! driving me NUTS, here!

So I started the project featured on the cover of this book. Cute, huh? It’s not going to look EXACTLY like that picture - I’m not using boucle yarn (uhh…the “fuzzish” yarn, for the unyarniated)

I got much of it done in just two days - just working on the little multicolored parts, and then piece it together and stuff it..and I’ll be done!

So much more satisfying than writing, really.

also, “conferred.” I use “conferred” way too much.

It never fails…

Published Monday, July 24, 2006 in TMI. 6 Comments

Talking long distance to anyone on the phone for over an hour…makes me have to poop.

Why is that?

attack of the tacky

Published Saturday, July 22, 2006 in rants and weekend warriors. 9 Comments

If hell were a house, it would be decorated with wallpaper. Flowered wallpaper. And it’s peeling.

Wall paper is absolutely the WORST invention ever. EVER! It is ALWAYS ugly, and, unless it is put up by a professional with great care, it ALWAYS shows seams. And even if , after a few years, the corners start to come up a little, and it’s just awful. And tacky. And ugly

The only thing potentially uglier than a room done in wallpaper, is that horrible wallpaper strip that people put around the walls near the ceiling. Usually featuring ducks or geese. And hearts. *shudder*

If you have this in your home, I can do nothing but pity you. You also probably have one of those fake geese in your front yard with seasonal “outfits” that you change regularly. Seek professional help.

But ESC! You say. I LOVE the wallpaper in my dining room! I did it myself and I am SO PROUD!

Well aren’t you just FANTASTIC? So say after a few years, you decide you’re ready for a change. Dark burgandy wallpaper with green and beige paisley and flower pattern just doesn’t scream “you” anymore. NOW what do you have to do?

why…TAKE IT DOWN, of course!

Which sucks. If you had just painted your ugly dining room in the first place, all you’d have to do is go over it with another color. One afternoon and *POOF!* instant makeover. Now you have to peel and scrape and gouge and spray and peel some more and weep, because tearing down wallpaper sucks.

Or…maybe you decided to cheat and just PAINT over it. Then, years later, whatever sucker buys your house after you squeeze out one too many kids and need a bigger house to inflict the horrors of your interior design style on, they are faced with a room that LOOKS like a painted room…but has suspicious vertical seams…

And if they are stupid, like I was, they just paint over it again! In stripes! So the seams aren’t so noticable! Fucking genius!

Except now it looks REALLY bad in there, the seams are coming up, the wallpaper (some hideous rust colored stripes with flowers? fuck!) is peeling around the front door…it had to come up.

So that’s part of what I did today - ripped wallpaper out of our entranceway (I also painted baseboards in the sunroom - wheee!). I still have to get the rest of the adhesive off (i’m halfway done), which THANKFULLY scrapes off somewhat easily after a few sprays with water/vinegar solution.

I need more bacon.

I’ve said it before…

Published Saturday, July 22, 2006 in food. 5 Comments

I’ll say it again.

If they didn’t want you to cook and consume an entire package of bacon at once, they’d have made the package resealable.

Just kidding, we’re only cooking a few. But still…it’s a good point, right?

get me out of the lab, please!!

Published Thursday, July 20, 2006 in rants, science! and friends. 5 Comments

With one nice exception, this was just one of those days I really just should have stayed in bed.

It actually started last night on my drive home from the lab. Huh. That’s weird, this road is rarely backed up this much, this late…in the summer. Must be an accident, I shall turn around and go another way home.
I never bothered to look up what exactly happened, which is why on my drive in this morning, I was taken completely by surprise when I got almost all the way to campus to find my road completely closed off due to a water main break. Swell. That explained the backup yesterday. Everyone was diverted to alternate routes. I had to drive all the way around around to the other side of campus and come in that way…fighting traffic and crazed “OH SHIT I’M GOING TO BE LATE” commuters the whole time. The end result being that a 15 minute commute took me an hour and 45 minutes. There are other people in the lab who live north of the city, and while traffic is bad for them normally, there was some kind of accident this morning that made it extra bad. They stumbled in after me, bitching about their 2 hour commute.

I don’t wanna fucking hear it. It took me almost 2 hours, and I live 3 miles away. Today, I fucking win.

So no writing was accomplished today, either. Fanfuckingtastic.

The highlight of my day was meeting a fellow blogger! Nicole flew in to town today to attend a conference being held on my campus. WHAT ARE THE ODDS??? And she’s staying in the dorms right across the street where I work. AGAIN, WHAT ARE THE ODDS???

So we enjoyed a late lunch together where we ate entirely too much, and talked entirely too long, because on the drive back to campus, we hit rush hour traffic…compounded by the fact that they are STILL working on that water main, because it was WAY more nuts than usual.

But lunch was so nice! We really do have a lot in common: graduate student bloggers planning their weddings. Though we said we wouldn’t talk about science, of course we did for the first half hour. Because that’s what geek scientists do: bitch about how their research is sucking, their advisors are crazy, and undergrads should be sacrificed to the lab gods. Then on to limited blogland gossip, and then inevitably to wedding planning. Because get two brides-to-be in a room together, and they’ll talk about nothing but dresses and how stupidly expensive wedding veils are.

It was a nice almost-two-hour lunch that was JUST the break I needed. Means I’ll be late in the lab tonight (almost 7 now), but it was worth it. So THANKS NICOLE! IT WAS COOL MEETING YOU!!!  I PROMISE I WON’T BLOG ABOUT HOW YOU SHOT THAT LEMON UNDER THE TABLE, AND THEN LATER ALMOST DRENCHED YOURSELF WITH SWEET TEA!  THAT WOULD TOTALLY BE EMBARSSING!  I hope you are now not traumatized by the south, our sweet tea, and po boys.

I’m a survivor

Published Wednesday, July 19, 2006 in daily and science!. 7 Comments

I survived my committee meeting. It was rough. It went both better and worse than I expected.

No one seemed to care about my bonehead mistake. They were satisfied with my plan to fix it. Or they were lulled by my homemade brownies, cheese popcorn, and bottles of coke zero. Always helps to bribe..err…make them COMFORTABLE.
However, my lack of writing is worriesome for them. They want me to get back to writing. Now. And also finish my lab work. I need better time management. Write a couple hours in the morning, then lab work the rest of the day. Long hours. Limit extracurricular activities. Write write write until the paper is done. They will keep tabs on me and give me deadlines, as advisor will be distracted with the move over the next few weeks. My first draft will be due Aug 15.

It is humiliating that they will be “babysitting” me. However…

I do need it. My procrastination with my writing has gotten out of hand. Advisor has been distracted by all this Duke business, and hasn’t really pushed me except for the occasional “you should probably be writing” in one breath, and then “aren’t you done with that strain construction YET??” with the next. I do much better with set deadlines and some supervision. And it’s so easy to get caught up in what I’m doing in the lab. It’s difficult to tear myself away. I SAY I will take some time in the afternoon…but then it never works out that way.
I do have to finish some labwork, though. So the next few weeks will be…ugh. A giant PUSH to get done what I need to get done.

Let’s just say that while I might still be posting, my overall presence in blogland will be minimal.

Pft! ESC, you haven’t commented on my blog in WEEKS! your presence is already minimal. I hate you, and I’m never coming back here again.

Bitch! I don’t want to read your skank-ass blog anyway!

Anyway, after the meeting (lasting over 2 hours) and then spend the rest of the day plotting out my schedule for the rest of the week, designing a new plan for ANOTHER 2d gel, and confirming a cloning strategy, I got home late, and NOT feeling like spending any time in my messy kitchen.

So Kev took me out. What a nice boy. I decided I didn’t want fancy. I didn’t want exotic. Or weird. Or different. I wanted a big, juicey, pink burger. And fries. I wanted fattening comfort food. And that’s what I got. A bacon bleu cheese burger. Cooked medium. (shut UP, I FEAR NO E. COLI!) Sooooo…very…..gooooood….

and exactly what I needed. What a nice boy I have.

Published Monday, July 17, 2006 in aside. 1 Comment

I really want to order some of these. Anyone else want one? I like the one that says “Do not buy anything from any bake sale that the air force may hold to buy a bomber, because those bombs will kill people.”

Published Monday, July 17, 2006 in aside. 0 Comments

Very interestsing new york times editorial piece - The Real Agenda.

fun with email

Published Monday, July 17, 2006 in conversations and friends. 4 Comments

Julie and I have been emailing to help lift the boredom of the work day. She posted part of the conversation today.

Here’s a recent quote, from me, which Julie demanded I blog. We were talking about (drumroll…) the WEATHER!

“It’s stinky hot everywhere. The temperature map of the country this morning on the today show looked like a republican’s wet dream.”

mint and lime and RUM!

Published Sunday, July 16, 2006 in daily and food. 6 Comments

So have I spent my weekend feaverishly preparing for my committee meeting?

no.

Have I spent hours and hours in the lab trying desperately to get last minute data to present to them?

ummm…no.

OK, then. Have I spent the weekend painting the baseboards and quarter round so I can get the condo back in order?

hells no.

Have I done ANYTHING productive AT ALL?

Well, we did some laundry. And worked our way through some massive piles of clothing in the bedroom. (is this clean? dirty? sniff it! yes, we live like ANIMALS!)

Also, I made some fish tacos this evening for dinner - blackened mahi mahi tacos, with guacamole. Mmmm…one of Kev’s absolute favorite meals. He was so excited he was bouncing up and down “fish tacos! fish tacos!” yes, I am engaged to a 12 year old. And yes, the double entendres were flying.
Last night one of our old post-docs who’s a faculty member now threw us a going away party. It still doesn’t seem real, as I’M not going away just yet - not until october, maybe november. However, advisor is leaving in a little over a week, along with lab goddess. It just doesn’t seem REAL yet that we’re leaving. It’s just going to be so weird with the lab broken up for the next few months.

The party was fun. Mojjjjjjjjiiiitttos!!!! Mojitos are a very good thing.

But MOSTLY what I did this weekend was jack and squat. I haven’t had a weekend like that in a long time. It felt GOOOOOOD.

shit. now I have to get ready for my meeting!!!!

OH, and also.  Kev and I are still trying to plan the honeymoon.  We want to rent a house or cottage on a beach.  Originally I was thinking somewhere in the Keys, but that is an awfully long drive.  Now we’re thinking gulf/panhandle area.  There are a lot of places to choose from.

Does anyone have any recommendations for a specific area there?  I want beach/fishing/water activities stuff, but also would like something like a town nearby for shopping, eating, and maybe a movie theater in case we get a rainy day.  Anyone have any suggestions?   I’ve never actually been to the panhandle - the pictures of the beaches look beautiful and isolated…I’m just worried they’ll be a litle TOO isolated.  Any suggestions would be most appreciated!

Published Friday, July 14, 2006 in aside. 0 Comments

And for those that suggested it a couple of weeks ago: I am now DEFINATELY not pregnant.  I have proof.  My lack of appetite and nausea is obviously stress induced, so just SHUT IT!!!  ;)

accepting my loose ends

Published Friday, July 14, 2006 in rants and science!. 4 Comments

I am again at stress con level 14 lately - committee meeting next week.

This is good and bad and scary all at once. because:

1. I have to own up to being a dumbass about something I’ve been trying to get to work now for probably about a year. And finally realizing the problem…yeah. I’m a dumbass. To help out anyone else: putting your well thought out and cloned DNA construct smack dab in the middle of the promoter of an essential gene will probably not work. Ever. This is really REALLY embarassing, and I have no good excuse to give my committee for it except to own up to the fact that it was a very dumb thing to do and I should have caught it earlier.

2. This is the good yet scary part. I may have to stand up for myself AGAINST my advisor. When most people start graduate school, they dream of having an advisor who is on their team, hands on when needed, hands off when neccessary, supportive and caring, yet not smothering, and pushing for graduation after a reasonabe amount of time. For the most part, I have had this. While we’ve had our run ins and disagreements, my advisor and I have generally been on the same page.

Never in a million years did I dream I’d be this long in graduate school. While my advisor keeps TELLING me that I need to graduate, and FREQUENTLY REMINDING ME HOW LONG I’VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THIS PROJECT TO WORK, YES I KNOW, PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME, BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO THAT AND THEN LEAVE, YOU SUCK ALL THE MOTIVATION, AND SPIRIT OUT OF ME AND MY LABMATES HAVE TO COMFORT ME AND HAND ME KIMWIPES SO I CAN DRY MY TEARS AFTER THE PANIC ATTACK YOU INDUCED, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

Where was I? Yes. While in many respects, my advisor has been a good one, and if I had to do it all over again, I would still have joined this lab, we’re getting to that strained point in the relationship where I know that it is over and done with, but she still wants me to tidy up all the loose ends.

In a perfect world, yes, the loose ends would be oh so tidy. So tidy, martha stewart would weep and then weave them into a decorative wreath. With pinecones.
But grad school is not about tidy ends. It is about the process (as post-doc “I” had to remind me yesterday, as I cried into my kimwipes). And there are ALWAYS “future directions” at the end of every thesis. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is to be expected.

So there is a chance that even now that I know what the hell I was doing wrong with my project (oh god, i am so dumb), and even though I have a plan for fixing it…if it doesn’t work out, that’s OK. I can make what I have into a story for my thesis. I can get my first project published. I have enough to graduate. At a point VERY SOON, I need to put down my pipet and my ependorf tubes, lock myself in a room with an outlet and an internet connection with my laptop, and write.

It is time.

I will go before my committee and tell them all of this. Even though it will make my advisor unhappy to hear it. She wants EVERYTHING done before I graduate.

But I am not going anywhere. Well, physically, yes, we are moving to NC. But I am staying with the lab for at least a year - plenty of time to finish off those loose ends.

I need to project to my committee that I am ready and confident in what I’ve done. My confidence needs to convince them that what I says is true. By a certain date, if I don’t have the strains, I will stop anyway, and write. And that is OK. And that doesn’t make me a bad graduate student or a bad scientist.

I just need to convince MYSELF off all that, first.

Published Thursday, July 13, 2006 in aside. 1 Comment

anti-DRM children’s story!

people I hate, volume 14, chapter 42

Published Wednesday, July 12, 2006 in rants. 8 Comments

Dear owner of that one SUV in the parking garage,

I hate you. Why? You have that stupid sign on the back of your vehicle. A printed out, LAMINATED white sign with black letters that says “BABY ABOARD.”

First off, no one’s had one of those “baby on board” suction stickers on their car for 15 years. And they were a stupid idea 15 years ago, because SO FUCKING WHAT you have a baby in there? Am I supposed to be extra special careful not to ram your fucking car because of your extra special bundle of super special angel-faced sweetness strapped into the back seat? Fuck you.

Secondly, you don’t even HAVE one of the original yellow diamond suction cup signs. You have a homemade laminated one. I can’t even begin to go into the dumbassery of that.

And thirdly, you totally screwed it up. It’s supposed to be “baby on board.” NOT “baby aboard.” Aboard is an adverb. Baby aboard…what? If you’re going to be a cheap asshole stuck 15 years in the past, AT LEAST learn proper grammer.

And PS, if I can drag my eyes off that horrible monstrosity of a sign the next time I pass your SUV in the garage, and find that you ALSO have a “W” sticker on there, I WILL ram your car. And then get out, find your baby, take it’s candy, and then SMACK IT AROUND. I hate you and I hate your progeny.

NA NA WHY DON’T YOU GET A JOB?

Published Monday, July 10, 2006 in daily and food. 17 Comments

So he did!

Kev got a JOB! A REAL job. That pays DECENT money (but no overtime, bleah!)! And…oh my god…HEALTH INSURANCE (after a month)! And it’s only 5 MILES AWAY!

He was interviewed today, offered the job, and starts TOMORROW! He’s…I don’t know, building computers and LCD screens, or something. Whatever. It’s WORK!

w00t! It will be nice to be a two income household again. Not that things have been overly tight, but we haven’t been living the high life, or anything. Not that we will now. Much money will be saved for HONEYMOON! double woot!

This called for celebration. We didn’t go out, as we ate out all weekend (we layed quarter round, I didn’t feel like COOKING after that). I stopped at the grocery store and picked up 2 inch thick ribeye steaks, 2 very large baking potatoes (CARBS! luxury!!!), salad fixins’, half a watermelon, and a WHOLE key lime pie. Oh, and some spicey tuna roll for appetizer.

Oh yeah. Totally in middle of food coma right now. Celebration accomplished. My baby is a WORKIN’ man again!

PS: dude. I’m watching PeeWee’s playhouse on cartoon network right now. How sweet is life?

bleah!

Published Monday, July 10, 2006 in science!. 10 Comments

In the lab, we often want to measure out exact amounts of liquid. For small amounts - less than a ml, we use a pipetter. For larger amounts, we use reusable glass pipets. These we attach to what looks like a little gun connected to a vacuum pump to create suction, which allows us to pick up up to 25mls of liquid.

There are little signs outside some labs (not ours) with warning labels on them. Often, one of the warning lables is a cartoon of a head with a long glass/plastic pipet in it’s mouth, with a big circle/slash NO over it.  NO MOUTH PIPETING!

But sometimes, sometimes you only want 3mls of liquid. And maybe it’s not really a DANGEROUS liquid. Something stupid. And you’re in a hurry, you just want to suck up 3mls, move it to your tube, and be done with it.

Even though we wash, sterilize and reuse our glass pipets, and sometimes a little something will get stuck in the tip, so that when you try to suck liquid up, it sticks a bit, then releases ALL at once.

This is OK if you’re using the vacuum gun. Not so much when you’re mouth pipetting because you’re in a hurry.

Wanna know what isopropanol tastes like?

not good.

weekend warriors, part 527

Published Sunday, July 9, 2006 in rants and weekend warriors. 5 Comments

we are 99% done with laying the quarter round around the new flooring, finally. The rest will have to wait until we get the “transition” flooring pieces that separate the rooms (stupid flooring store was out of our color. stupid!).

Some people out there may be saying “ESC, it shouldn’t take TWO WHOLE DAYS for two people to lay and caulk quarter round in 4 rooms.”

And to those people I say…

FUCK YOU!

Dreaming of bloggers

Published Friday, July 7, 2006 in in dreams. 5 Comments

Last night I dreamt that Mike had fathered children with bloggers - one with Lovisa, and one with someone I didn’t recognize. Somehow I was living with both women and babies, and all was good, when we got a letter from Mike. He said that he wanted his babies back, because he was dating a very nice woman who bought him a mercedes, and therefore he felt that she would be a good mother to them.

Lovisa and the other woman were upset. I tried to cheer them up by writing friendly notes all over the mean letter from Mike. And giving them balloons. I was really upset, too. How could Mike be so cruel??? Later, we put the babies in the mailbox to be sent to California.

Seriously, what the hell did I eat before bedtime? I swear, I didn’t drink ANY alcohol.

beating my muse to death with a thermocycler

Published Thursday, July 6, 2006 in rants, science! and on the teeveeee. 8 Comments

OK, I have a serious lack of interesting things to post about here. Because on a scale of 1 to 10, my stress level has reached about a 16.4. It’s hard to post something entertaining or thoughtful or dirty when I’m one dropped ependorf tube away from stabbing someone in the eye with a pipet.
Julie says I can vent about science here. Yeah, I could, I guess. Except that it would be post after post of

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE! GET ME OUT OF HERE! I WANT TO GRADUATE!!! WHY WON’T MY LAST FEW STINKING EXPERIMENTS WORK??? FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!!!!!
Doesn’t help that everyone in the lab is in “just about to move, packing my stuff, full of stress, don’t talk to me” mode. It is not the greatest work environment.

Today I thought I’d try to lift my spirits and make me somewhat popular in the lab, I picked up a dozen donuts. Hooray! Everyone loved the donuts and my spirits were successfully lifted!
Hooray! My PCR finally worked!

Boooo! My PCR showed that my strains are not what I want them to be!

It’s a rollercoaster of emotions in the lab, and I don’t have the energy to post it all here. So please just assume that everything is seriously sucking from now on, unless I post otherwise.

Thank you.

PS: if you are feeling at all down about your relationship (and let me assure everyone that I’m DEFINATELY not, I’m just making a point), please go watch “my fair brady: we’re getting married!” on VH1. Your relationship will look amazingly functional and drama-less in comparison.

happy 5th of July!

Published Wednesday, July 5, 2006 in daily, photos and conversations. 3 Comments

mmmmm...watermelon

anything better than chunking into a sweet watermelon on a hot day??? I DON’T THINK SO!

In other picture news, I put up some pictures from my bridal shower in pittsburgh. Go check them out, won’t you?

and yet more conversations

after waking from a nap
ESC: I’M HUNGRYYYYY! ARE YOU GOING TO THE STORE???

Kev: I didn’t want to WAKE you earlier. I’m going.

ESC: I’ll go with you.

Kev: then why don’t YOU just go.

ESC: no, I want to go WITH you.

Kev: *grumble*

at the checkout lane

ESC: *looking at magazines* look, celebrities have cellulite like normal people

Kev: who’s the chick in the blue bikini?

ESC: doesn’t say…wait…THIS magazine has pictures of celebrities that are too thin!

Kev: hehe

ESC: too fat! too thin! mixed messages in a single magazine rack! I CAN’T HANDLE IT!!!!

Kev: I’m not taking you anywhere right after you nap again.

Published Tuesday, July 4, 2006 in aside. 1 Comment

Holy hell, what a fucking waste of money.  Fucking MORONS!

god this is boring

Published Tuesday, July 4, 2006 in daily and science!. 10 Comments

Everyone is out having 4th of July fun except ME. Until 10 minutes ago, I was the only one in the lab. One other person has just waltzed in at 3:30, I’m sure after have super Independence day fun.

I am stuck here for several more hours.

Because I know everyone is super interested in my food intake - right on cue at around 3:30, my stomach started to get rumbly. So I have my snack of yogurt and 100-calorie cinnamon grahms. Seriously, stomach? What. the. fuck?

*********************************

This one is for any sciencey people out there. Have you ever started preparing to make a solution of some kind for the very first time, and everyone tells you “oooo…that solution SUCKS to make” or you read up on it and it looks like it’s going to take HOURS with constant pH’ing and OH CHRIST WHAT A FUCKING PAIN…and then you do it, and it all comes together super easy. And then you start DOUBTING yourself and the solution, because it was so easy? Surely, you MUST have done something wrong, because it came together too quickly and too easily.

I am having doubts. Ficoll is supposed to take HOURS AND HOURS to go into solution. In fact, one protocol says to let it go overnight.

My ficoll took about 2 hours.

It LOOKS OK. It’s just stupid loading dye…but still…

doubt!

The lab is quiet. Blogland is quiet. I am deprived of my usual email comrades. No one is around to read here and leave me nice comments.

I am soooooo bored.

sad sadie

new look!

Published Tuesday, July 4, 2006 in blogging and links. 5 Comments

From Dooce’s, I found squidfinger’s background designs, and I was inspired to do a little makeover.

can’t see it? clear your cache or something. there…better?

whatcha think?

Dear MySpace user,

Published Monday, July 3, 2006 in rants and blogging. 6 Comments

No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to hear your crappy taste in music when they click on your site. It’s fucking annoying.

Stop it. Now.

I SAID NOW!

Thank you.

conversations in maturity

Published Monday, July 3, 2006 in conversations and weekend warriors. 7 Comments

at Home Depot

Kev: we’re also going to need a lot of caulk. Have I ever shown you how to caulk?

ESC: Sweetie, I am QUEEN of the caulk. I’ve done LOTS of caulking. These hands have handled more caulk than you can IMAGINE. You will be JEALOUS of my sweet caulk handling skills.

Kev: uh huh. freak.

later, reading information and warning label on caulk

ESC: hehehehehehehehe

Kev: what?

ESC: it says here that this caulk should not be use for sealing butt joints.

Kev: hehehehehehee

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