Evilsciencechick’s

BLATENTLY ripped off from The Sneeze.
Though I will NOT be eating pupae.
I was at my favorite indoor international farmer’s market yesterday, and in the hippie, all natural section (HA! this is a joke - MOST of that place is hippie all natural) and stumbled across a package called “Nature’s Burger.”
A burger! In a […]

suddenly, VH1 takes over this blog
You know who is REALLY having the Best Week Ever? Best TWO weeks ever, really. Andrea Bocelli. Seriously, I’ve seen more of this man in the past two weeks than I have for the past 6 years.
And what the hell…Avril Lavigne in the closing ceremonies? Seriously, […]

More conversations…
ESC: did you see my post about the oral hygeine order?
Kev: yeah.
ESC: Most people seem to floss AFTER brushing. then some weirdos brush again, but HA! I am RIGHT!
Kev: I’m still going to do it my way. Plus, maybe all those people who commented are wrong.
ESC: no. no…just you.
********************
watching the […]

I just realized that my panties are on INSIDE OUT!
Oh yeah…there’s a party in my pants right now.

First off…maybe my readers can settle an argument…well…not an ARGUMENT. That’s too strong a word. Maybe solve the incessant picking-on that goes on between Kev and me.
PLEASE PLACE THE FOLLOWING IN THE CORRECT ORDER:
mouthwash
floss
brush
We argue…I mean pick on…each other ALL THE TIME about which way is correct. I ask YOU, the […]

Conversations with Julie, or why you all deseperaly want to IM chat with us ALL THE TIME!
Julie: Lori and I went to a sex shop last night, and now they have a mini-butterfly! for use “while having sex”
ESC: oooooo
Julie: yeah.
ESC: did you get it???
Julie: damn thing was $50, so I didn’t get it, but I […]

I shop a lot at the Kroger by the Curves I go to. They’ve been doing some rennovation inside. I figured they were just spiffing up the bakery and deli areas.
Nope.
I saw the sign up today. Still covered by plastic.
“starbucks coffee”
bye bye, bank account.
Also, they’ve put in a Dellalo’s antipasti bar - […]

conversations at work
N: I’m going to try to work on all this at home.
ESC: don’t let your cat gouge you again *points to very deep scratch on her wrist*
N: ooooooh…he won’t do that again. He just didn’t want me to go to work.
ESC: you know, you always sound like a victim of […]

It IS crappy. Cold, with that misty rain…
Nothing like slurping down a big steaming bowl of Italian wedding soup* while watching the Olympics. Maybe we’ll put a log in the fireplace here in a bit.
Ahhhhhh….
*diet friendly! Turkey meatballs! Chunks of chicken breast! Plenty of spinach! Only a tiny bit […]

There is nothing that gets the adrenaline pumping than a very loud, authoritative knock on the door at 1am from the police.
yikes!!!
And there’s an immediate feeling of fear and guilt. Oh my god…that library fine! they called the cops on me for not paying it!!! I think if a cop knocked on […]

Conversations at our house
Kev and ESC smooch
Kev: your breath smells like…basil?
ESC: should be mint.
Kev: more like basil.
ESC: it’s that mouthwash. it should be minty.
Kev: well, then it’s mint with something else.
ESC: ummmm…bacon?
Kev: that’s probably it.
And before you yell at me for going off the diet…

turkey bacon!
Please ignore dirty stovetop background. They didn’t even […]

I’m most of the way through the “phase I” week of my diet, and I’m happy to report I’m down 3 pounds!
Yeah yeah, I KNOW! MOST OF THAT IS WATER WEIGHT!
Shut up and let me enjoy it, OK? Plus I got to have steak and shrimp for dinner, and I’m just enjoying the […]

Thanks for your prayers, folks.
Now for an abrupt change of subject…
my new camera came today!
It is INFINATELY better - better zoom and pixelage, boots up faster…AND, my BIGGEST pet peeve with my old camera (also a cybershot), VERY QUICK recovery time after taking a picture, so you can take quick pics in succession. Also […]

Our choir director’s partner has just been put in hospice care. The lung cancer came back full force just before christmas, and while they’ve been trying to fight it again with chemo, he’s been too weak to get most of his treatments.
Unless he makes a miraculous turnaround, he might not make it for very […]

There. Now I’LL get crazy google hits, too.
I was doing SO WELL today! My half cup of oatmeal and two pieces of canadian bacon (ok…it’s HAM people…very thin, small, slices of HAM! stupid canadians), my lunch of turkey and swiss sandwich and also choked down some very tart raspberries. Afternoon snack […]

I am hungry.
So very, very hungry.
I’m considering licking the sides of that bottle of hot sauce over there.
Why am I so hungry?
I am on a diet. The first real diet I have been on in I can’t tell you HOW long. This diet is designed by Curves. I signed up for a […]

I had a big long post, about how I decided on a wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses…how my pastor at church rocks…my feelings on the winter olympics (including the phrase “the summer olympics can go suck a fish”), and my feelings on Michelle Kwan.
all
gone
for some reason, even though blogger SAID it was saving or caching, […]

get yourself a clean pair of undies, because ESC ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS!!!!
sideshow bob asks:
Why are they called fingers when they don’t “fing”?
And do you think that public schools, in addition to teaching the theory of gravity, should give time to teaching intelligent falling?
because they needed to call them somefing.
I think that schools should start putting […]

Soon I will bring you the answers to your questions (still time to ask anything, though), horrifying tales of engulfing, suffocating satin and lace monsters at bridal stores, and other people’s mothers that make me glad my mother is my mom…
but I am stupid tired right now.
So instead, click the pic below and enjoy […]

ONE FOR THE THUMB, BABY!

My mother is here and everything’s been going well. We managed to get the place looking SPARKLIN’ CLEEEN before she got here, and amazingly enough…keeping UP with the cleaning. The dishes! Get done! Soon after dinner! And not! Three days later!
We’re not PERFECT, though.
Conversation this morning
Mom: is this still […]