Monthly Archive for November, 2006

taking advantage of my condition

I’m sick, peeps. Chills. Body aches. Voice not all there. Nauseous (yet hungry at the same time. ANNOYING!)

I read Julie’s meme last night, and got all kinds of annoyed - first, something was wrong with her blog, and it just CUT OFF right after she “tagged” me…and second, she tagged me and I hate memes.

But then she fixed her blog (something about a wysiwyg editor - pft…whatever!) and I read the rest of the post and she said all kinds of nice things about me. Making me feel really bad that I was annoyed about the taggation.  Plus I’m sick, and in my weakened condition, I can’t really fight off these meme attacks.

Cruel, Julie.  very cruel.

I shall do this blessedly short meme, and then go make myself a cup of tea. and another blanket. and some excedrin.

1. How and when did you learn how to knit/crochet? Who taught you?

No one taught me, bitch! I am a self learning. The inspiration suddenly hit me about…a year and a half ago? two years? how long have I been at this, anyway? I wanted to learn to do something. With yarn. And make things. I mentioned this to a woman at church, whom I saw carrying a bag containing yarn and a project of some kind, that I wanted to learn to either knit or crochet. “Oh, learn to knit. it’s much more flexible and you can do more with it.” Then she offered to teach me - I just had to go get some yarn and needles. yay!

I went to the local yarn/all your sewing needs shop and announced my intentions. I wanted to learn to knit. Someone was going to teach me. I needed a good beginner yarn and needles. Please help.

They were all to eager to help, and before long, I had an armful of lime green super chunky wool yarn and size 13 needles. And a knitting magazine. And wow…my first knitting sticker shock.

But the woman who offered to teach me got called away on business to, I kid you not…Kuwait. And I have a patience problem. I don’t have any. And while flipping through the knitting magazine (I think it was actually called “Knitting”), I found in the back instructions on how to knit! How to make a slip knot. how to cast on by knitting into that knot and placing the loop back on the needle (this made for some very very tight cast ons for me, until I learned the long tail method). I learned the knit stitch. I learned the purl. I did not learn that purls were supposed to be annoying and that no one liked them. I cast on and ripped back a scarf many many times, because there was nothing in those instructions about knitting a “swatch,” so my scarf ended up too wide. and because I had learned both knit and purl, I used them both to make what I learned later was a stockinette stitch scarf. Which wasn’t the wisest thing to do, as stockinette stitch tends to roll in on itself. I worked on it on and off for the next couple of months. I used the “jam the right needle into my armpit and wrap the yarn with my right hand” method of knitting. It was slow going. And at the Kansas City blogger meetup, Aimee was kind enough to let me in on the big secret of how you’re supposed to take a hank of yarn and roll it into a ball, not just knit from the hank and let it get all tangly.

Ohhhh…

Then I knit almost constantly.

2. How has this craft impacted your life? (besides financially!)

I have a hobby again! I used to read almost constantly. But somehow, when I got to grad school, my reading fell by the wayside. I couldn’t find another genre I liked, and all my favorite sci/fi fantasy authors were starting to trickle off. And I couldn’t find any other authors I liked…so…I stopped. mostly. I will still devour a terry pratchett when one comes out.

So then TV became my hobby, and that wasn’t very rewarding. Though addictive.

Knitting has given me a hobby that occupies my hands and brain. And gives me a serious break from thinking and worrying about my research. And…it’s productive! I have a finished object that I can take around and show people! Look! It’s…a…ummm…another scarf! (I got better - now I can knit socks and everything). I like being productive. I like how my efforts produce things that are tangible and useful. No offense, but I never understood the crossword puzzlers and the soduku fanatics out there. yeah…you finished one. great. Now what? Do another one. And…frame it?

Plus I LOVE making things for other people. In my mind, there is nothing like giving someone a handmade gift. For those of you who are lucky enough to receive a knitted/crocheted gift from someone, please do NOT take it for granted. Please realize that while your friend or loved one made this item, he/she was thinking of you…the WHOLE TIME. Hours. Days. thinking of you with this item. Wearing it. Loving it. Keeping you warm and safe. Giving someone a knitted item is like giving them big bear hugs that last forever - or at least for a very long time. It is a powerful expression of love. Knitting is very powerful for me. Even though I haven’t become the amazing talent of some knitters out there, who have delicate lace shawls flow off their needles with seeming ease. I like my projects, and they give me a lot of pleasure, whether I keep them for myself or give them away. I don’t need to be the best. I just need to be happy.

knitting mosaic

3. Pick at least one person to talk about who you have met through the knit-world and why you are thankful to have met them. Feel free to get all mushy.

Dammit. The hard one. And Julie took my only other really good choice. I would tag my new knitting friend Mollie, but she doesn’t have a blog. YET (I’m working on her). So I throw this out there to anyone out there who has ANY kind of crafty talent. Beading (ahem *cough* nanner *cough*), sewing, making cool funky bags (*cough*Randi*cough*). Apply these question to YOUR craft. Or just leave comments about how much you like what you do, or if you have a desire to learn a craft.

OK. getting some tea now.

making it all official

guy#1: OK, dude…we have to decide where to put all these DMV offices in Atlanta

guy#2: why don’t we put them in nice, moderately populated areas that are convenient to get to and find?

guy#1: what are you, stoned? this is the fuckin’ DMV! We need to find a vortex of sadness and anger to put these offices. let’s put onnnne….over here somewhere.

guy#2: but…there’s nothing there but pawn shops and liquor stores! and that crappy uber-ghetto mall!

guy#1: oh, that’s an even BETTER IDEA, dude! Let’s put it IN the crappy mall!

guy#2: but then…you won’t be able to find it from the road - and no businesses around there have visible address numbers on them! the street address would be useless!

guy#1: I KNOW! this is great. where should we put the next one? let’s see…where is the highest concentration of meth labs…?

******

So after an hour of driving around the ghetto back and forth IN THE POURING RAIN trying to find the DMV, I FINALLY have a new driver’s license. I am officially Mrs Evilsciencechick Kevslastname. Bitch took my picture, though. I wasn’t prepared for that - I still had another two years on my license, they should have just used the older (and BETTER) pic. Instead, I now look like a very pale drowned rat. Nice.

And since I was already wet and miserable, I decided to make it a two-fer and drive across the parking lot to the social security office, for ANOTHER long wait. all told, about a 6 hour adventure. At least the lady who helped me (finally) was pleasant. And congratulated me on the wedding (still gets me tingly).
I am now Mrs. Evilsciencechick Evilmiddlename Kevslastname in every legal sense.

still don’t feel different.

that’s not a mango!

I was riding the shuttle home tonight, and almost fell out of my seat when a truck pulled up right next to us with this HUGE image on it:

cropped on the truck

now…let us guess the target audience for this advertising campaign. Hmmmmm????

shout outs

I’ve been so busy doing boring sciencey things lately (writing, trying to convince my adviser that my data is valid, uhh…weeping) that I’ve neglected posting.

Specifically, posting a SHOUT OUT THANKS to world-famous and beloved Dave Dink of Chub Creek podcast (which can normally be found here, but thanks to massive downloading, has temporarily been moved here). Who, thanks to my vigilant stalking in his frappr chat room, gave me a shout out on his latest podcast. So everyone go download and listen to his latest podcast and “sqeeeee!” with delight when he mentions me. TWICE.

I have to say, though, that this most recent episode is not necessarily representative of most of his (and Gary’s) podcasts. usually, it’s original music and hilarious skits, but the latest one is a little more dark and somber, as delves a little into a Canadian’s perspective on America, the war, and the elections. So if you want the laughs and chuckles, download some of their older stuff. And try to ignore your co-workers stares when you burst out laughing for apparently no reason.

if you’ll notice on my links page (YOU KNOW YOU LOVE THE LITTLE BUTTONS! YOU KNOW YOU DO!), I have a section devoted to the podcasts I listen to. Chub Creek is there (if you are a knitting podcast listener, you are probably already familiar with Chub Creek. not that knitting is discussed, but it’s a favorite podcast of other knitting podcasters - Dave has some serious knitting fans.), along with some knitting podcasts, a foodie podcast, and…alot of npr (”wait…wait…don’t tell me” IN THE HIZZOOOUS!). Also sciencey podcasts that annoyingly don’t really have their own websites.

So! Go listen to Chub Creek, and then download some more podcasts, and then buy an iPod so that you can listen to the podcasts without being tied to your computer and then BECOME STEVE JOBS’ SLAVE LIKE THE REST OF US! JOOOOIN US! JOOOOOIN US!

*hugging my PC laptop for protection*

OK, better now.

To make a total left turn of a transition here, I thought I’d post the email Michael Moore just sent out to his email subscribers. It’s pretty interesting and entirely optimistic, but we can always dream, right?

To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,

I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week’s election. You’re worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don’t want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.

Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power — and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.

Thus, here is our Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:

Dear Conservatives and Republicans,

I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:

1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you “unpatriotic” simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.

2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be “different” or “immoral.” Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love — it’s a wonderful gift.

3. We will not spend your grandchildren’s money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It’s your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.

4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.

5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we’ll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.

6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.

7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.

8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.

9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren’t much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.

10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you — and your employees — that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.

11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don’t put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs (”Blessed are the poor,” “Blessed are the peacemakers,” “Love your enemies,” “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God,” and “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn’t just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism — starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.

12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.

I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans — and for the rest of the world.

Signed,

Michael Moore
[email protected]
(Click here to sign the pledge)
www.michaelmoore.com

P.S. Please feel free to pass this on.

Sadie commands you to just “chill,” OK?

how to torture my dog

                  

spoiled mallrat rant

Today it took me 4 hours to shop in two stores.

The “I hate lenox mall” song!

I hate lenox mall on a weekday!

Oh I hate lenox mall weekends too!

where are all these rich spoiled kids coming from?

Why are they always in my WAY?

Alllll the salespeople are idiots

How long will I be here today?

EVERYBODY NOW! Oh I hate lenox on a weekday!”

I hate lenox mall weekends too!!!

yeah. I did a “finish out the registry” day today. Got much loot at Crate&Barrel and Macy’s.

ESC - I need a “completion of registry” form so I can get 10% off my purchases today?

Macy’s lady - no problem. You know, today we’re having a special on completions of registries. If you spend over $200, you get 15% off, and if you spend over $300, you get 20% off.

ESC - are…are you challenging me???

Now we have a complete set of oh so fluffy Hotel brand towels. Ooohhhh..so…sooffft…

in…are you ready for this? PINK AND BROWN!

I have stuff on ORDER from Macy’s, now,too. Because it would be too much for them to have commonly used All Clad pieces actually in stock. Or even in stock at their warehouse.

If I can find that non-stick frying pan for as good a deal as I got at Macy’s, I’m cancelling that order.  Otherwise, I have to wait until Dec 27. No eggs for you!  I want that chef’s pan TOO…but that should be in in a week or two.

There was a couple there doing the same thing with their registry. The must have had almost $2000 worth of All Clad among their purchases. *weep* So…much…beauty in the world…

OH! and a pasta maker attachment for my KitchenAid! Who wants fresh fettucini???

I also wandered around Crate&Barrel and picked up the stuff there that everyone seemed to avoid LIKE THE PLAGUE on the registry. Beer mugs, little glass bowls (square! everything we registered for was square! Square is the new round! Did you know?), one of those fancy push-up measuring cups, and miscellaneous other bits and gadgets that make my heart melt at $3.95 each.

Splurged yesterday, too. the Bed Bath&Beyond gift cards were burning a hole in my wallet. Wusthof boning knive…CHECK! Good Grips liquid measuring cup set….CHECK! washcloths and dishtowels…CHECK!

My theory is that we had to shop for our stuff SOON, because it’s holiday shopping season, and the crowds are only going to GET WORSE.

I hate holiday crowds.

And the only reason I had to go to friggin’ Buckhead and Lenox mall today was that the Macy’s at the big nice mall waaay outside the perimeter where the crowds were a little managable, were “too small” to carry the individual pieces I was looking for. they also didn’t have the rest of the Hotel collection towels in the right color. I got that at B,B&B, too, when I asked if they carried individual All Clad items. “this is one of our smaller stores.”

where the fuck am I, minimall??? And I had to fucking order the pans ANYWAY, so where did this all get me???

OK, enough shopping orgy rant. I got nice things. I should not complain. Now we’re going out for noodles. because now that I have all this nice stuff to cook with, I don’t want to mess them up by actually USING THEM!