last night I performed my wifely duties in helping Kev remove the waxy build up in his ears. Now he has no excuse about how he can’t hear me when I screech at him from the next room about WHY HE DIDN’T TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT OMG CAN YOU NOT SMELL THIS IN HERE????
I did NOT do it without comment, though, because that would negligent of me.
ESC: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (pretty much said this the whole time)
Kev: I can’t HELP it. I have narrow ear canals! Ask my mom. My dad had the same thing.
ESC: oh GREAT. I married a genetic freak with MUTANT EAR DRUMS. I hope any kids we have get my ear canals.
Kev: and my teeth.
ESC: and someone else’s metabolism
and then this morning
Kev: awwww…babe, do you still love me even though I have mutant ear drums?
ESC: *sigh* yeah…I suppose. I suspect that someone will be around shortly to take down my sad yet courageous story to make it into a Hallmark channel special. “PROFILES IN COURAGE: A WIFE IN WAX”
Kev: bitch
CAN YOU NOT FEEL THE LOVE, PEOPLE??? THIS IS TRUE LOVE HERE!
You should make candles.
I’m never getting married….
At least he didn’t ask you to clean his nose so he could smell the garbage?
While your ability to suck the wax out of the Hubby’s ear is a claim to your devotion. You don’t truly love somebody until you’ve given them an enema or two. You can feel the love when the Hubby calls and asks you to go to the store for an enema, because he can’t poop. It resonates over the phone, for sure.
Try ear candles–but DON’T let him use them alone! Holler my way if you have no idea what I’m talking about.
Ew.
And as someone with tiny twisty ear canals and impacted earwax, I’m allowed to say that.
Except I go to the doctor every so often and they swish my ears out with a fancy squirt gun.
Now that you’ve helped him with the waxy buildup, maybe he can teach you how to turn off your capslock key.
THEN HOW ELSE WOULD I INDICATE HOW STRONG MY FEELINGS ARE IN MY POST???
oh, and Jen? YOU WIN!
I don’t know. I’ve never let him watch me snort salty water up my nose to clear nasal congestion. hahahaha!
Kev just doesn’t know how lucky he is.