…ESC style
once you haven’t puked in over 12 hours:
eat a bowl of oatmeal and some toast, just to make sure your stomach isn’t faking (stomachs like to do this “oh, I feel better. go ahead. eat the burger. I swear I won’t make you throw up…….PSYCHE! ALL OVER YOUR SHOES, BITCH!!!”)
once you have determined that the bug is completely out of your system:
1. go eat bbq. lots of bbq. with fries. and fried okra. feel drunk with food. attempt Karaoke at bbq’s “family night.” sing a song written by lesbians, just to mess with the hicks. fail miserably at maintaining proper pitch, but don’t care. FOOD!
2. go home. drink….nog. nog and spiced rum. ahhh…yeahh….that’s the good stuff.
happy holidays, yo.
I have planned a thanksgiving menu, and even picked up a turkey. a WHOLE turkey. 10.7lbs of fresh young butterball turkey. the fact that it has “young and fresh!” scrawled across it makes me feel a little…dirty. yesssss…yesssss…I likes them YOUNNNGGGG! and…freeesssssshhhhhhhh….
ew.
I need more nog.
grace on 
PandoraWilde on 
Ken on 
Seth on 
grace (46 comments)
Knit Witch (41 comments)
Julie (26 comments)
Janice in GA (26 comments)
Well, pedophilic feelings towards dead poultry isn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s still gross, though.
Just be thankful you don’t live in Wisconsin, where right now, a debate is ongoing as to whether or not screwing a deer carcass is illegal.
Ummmm… are you inviting me for Thanksgiving cuz you’re gonna need a houseful of folks to eat that much turkey.
Screwing a deer carcass? Nothing like beating dead meat. Gross. And no, I wouldn’t think it’s illegal to screw a DEAD animal, although still wondering who would WANT to.
Pedophilia, necrophilia, you got it all Evil One.
that is a SMALL turkey, btw. most people buy at least a 14lb one.
plus…you’ve met Kev, right? do you know how much that boy can put away?
I’ll be lucky if there are BONES left!
I greatly enjoy Nog.
screwing dead animals? nasty. I thought it was bad enough when a guy in my town was arrested for screwing his neighbors goats. eww
I think I was subconsciously invited to the Evil’s Turkey Day Extravaganza!
You need to make lots of turkey for lots of leftovers!
And I have always been partial to green bean casserole. What is this roasting bag? Sounds interesting. And that mayo turkey sounds like unhealthy deliciousness!
I love how people with no gravatars get a picture of ESC’s ASS. Classic.
Dude, you need a bigger turkey. So that you can have turkey sammiches, and turkey noodle soup, and turkey hash, and turkey…I’ll stop now. I’m making myself hungry, and since I never host Thanksgiving, I never get enough leftovers. Feh.
Glad you’re feeling better.
I like the idea of young and fresh as well. Especially in a product that’s known for large breasts.
Glad your stomach’s better jus in time for Turkey Day. Don’t know about you, but by Friday I swear off food for good.
Ten pounds? That’s like the Tiny Tim of Turkeys.
Ha!
Happy Thanksgiving y’all!
Whoa!! Way to recuperate!! You don’t mess around.