ATTEMPT #1 TO KILL MY HUSBAND:
2007 – purchase two large jars of Peter Pan brand peanut butter (as part of a buy one get one free sale). Allow enough time for one jar to be eaten by husband, before nationwide recall due to salmonella contamination of the exact same lot number as previously purchased and eaten.
Husband shows no ill effects. Attempt #1 is a failure. More »« Less
This was one of the two dresses I bought on Sunday, and the one I wore today. YOU GUYS! THIS DRESS! IS SO COMFORTABLE!!! I demand that everyone go buy it and wear it and be comfy yet sexy all day. I didn’t even wear any additional underdoohickies to smooth things out – it was so freeing! And normally it wouldn’t even be something I would even try on, especially as it’s all black, and women with my complexion tend to look like an old italian widow in black. BUT I was inspired to try it on after I stole it from some bitch’s clothes pile after she yelled at me for stealing her dressing room.* More »« Less
Wednesday was my mother’s birthday, but our gift didn’t arrive until friday. I bought her a bunch of things from World Market – online, and just had them shipped straight to her. She said it was like Christmas! So many things to unwrap! More »« Less
This is what a disassembled mattress looks like piled up on your living room floor. More »« Less
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