Yeah, I’m nuts. And not just for posting 3 times in one day (take the ESC challenge! read all 3 without falling asleep!). I’ll explain in a bit.

Ran some errands today. Exchanged Sadie’s collar and got her a new toy (spoiled!), went to Target to check out slashed Christmas stuff. Very disappointed that the dishes I wanted were all gone, though they still had dishtowels and other accessories in the same pattern. I could HOPE that target would bring back the same pattern next year….but probably not. So instead I bought some christmas candles and a beautiful small tablecloth to go over my coffee table (where we do most of our eating, anyway). After picking up some other odds and ends, I headed on over to Publix, where I got the dip fixins. And it was several hours later I realized that I forgot to pick up pork loin and saurkraut for new years day dinner. D’OH! Oh well…that’s what kev’s for!

After spending over a week running around the Alabama woods, Sadie was starting to smell a little ripe. Ew! Bath time!

Sadie HATES baths. Early on in our relationship, it was a CONSTANT struggle with her. Now, generally, when she sees me strip down (I generally get pretty wet, during HER bath), and then take off her collar, she knows what’s coming. And she’s generally resigned to her fate. All it takes is a “get IN there!” and she slowly makes the walk to the bathroom, head down, very “dead dog walking.”

Today, she wanted none of it. Actually, I think she might be a little sick, because she’s spent most of the day in her crate (when not in my car running errands. sadie likes car rides). Yesterday, too. Kev mentioned she’s been sleeping a lot more recently. So maybe she caught a bug in AL. Whatever the case, she was having NONE of my bathtime nonsense. When she FINALLY reluctantly emerged from her crate so I could get her collar off, she ran under the dining room table, and when I tried to coax her out, she bolted back to her crate. And when I tried to get her out of her crate again, she growled and bared her fangs at me.

OH NO YOU DI’INT!

Some background: when I first adopted Sadie, it was very much a battle of wills. I was a first time dog owner, and she was (still is) a very dominant dog. Training her was VERY trying for me, and she would constantly misbehave.

“but ESC! she’s just a DOG! she doesn’t KNOW any better!”

my ASS!

Sadie is too damn smart for her own good, and she knew DAMN well when she was being a little shit. It got to the point that, to get her attention, I would have to grab all 40lbs of her, flip her on her back, my hand on her throat, and….growl at her. Apparently, this is how mama dogs teach puppies. Sounds cruel and weird, but it worked. Eventually, we settled into our currently relationship. She’s well trained, loves to please me, and I spoil her ourtrageously. This is what works for us.

Every now and then, especially when I’ve been away from her for a while, she’ll revert to her lil miss independent attitude, and I’ll have to take steps. So when she bared her fangs at me, I knew just what to do.

another aside - Sadie has NEVER bitten me in anger. never. once or twice when we were roughhousing, but never out of anger or fear. So I never really worry that she’ll do that. but I do respect the growl and bared fangs. and I take appropriate steps.

I grabbed her chain collar and leash off their hook, looped the chain around her neck, and dragged her black furry ass into the bathroom. She gave me noooo trouble after that.

The funny thing is, aside from the bath part itself, she loves the after bath part. She LOOOOVES being rubbed down by a warm fuzzy towel, and she LOOOOVES the treat she gets afterwards. So really, what’s the big deal? Stupid dog.

But here’s how I know I’ve finally gone off the deep end. After getting her all squared away, it was my turn to get nice and clean. I got in the shower, and had just shampooed my hair, when I realized that the razor cartridges I just bought were still in the Target bags in the living room.

son of a…

So I emerged naked, dripping, and soapy, and made my way quickly to the living room, where Sadie was still damp and sulking. When she looked up at me, I said

“SEE???? MOMMY takes showers TOO, and you don’t see ME getting all BITCHY about it!!!!!”

I grabbed my razors and stormed back into the bathroom. Stupid dog. Then I laughed my ass off. What did I just YELL at my dog???? I’m amazed I still function in normal society.

Sadie, wet and pathetic.