cookies and lube

God, I *heart* John Jon Stewart. Jiffy Law! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

*ahem*

Yeah, so I got the call from my mom:

Mom: uhhhh…ok…soo….

ESC: so tell me EXACTLY what happened, from the beginning.

Mom: I put in the CD, and it said “do you want to import into iTunes, and I said yes…

apparently, Mom didn’t take notes when I showed her how to use iTunes. I’m expecting another call from her in a half hour, when she then tries to move tracks onto her iPod.

also of note today: I got cookies from my church! I don’t know why! but hey! homemade cookies, and a sticker that says “great work.” I’m not complaining.

does YOUR church send you cookies? huh?

no?

just…kool aid?

uhhhh…OK, maybe you need to rethink your spirituality.

on the other end of the mail spectrum, but no less exciting, I got an envelope from what looked like a chemical company, informing me that the “free sample you requested” had arrived.

Uhhh..what?

Ahhhh…yes! My free sample! Of Astroglide warming liquid! Awesome!

did you get yours yet? in fact, did anyone else in the WHOLE WORLD get cookies and lube ON THE SAME DAY??? EVER???

I am the luckiest girl alive.

11 Responses to “cookies and lube”


  1. 1 The Scoot

    Hmm… which folder did I save my baking porn under again? Oh, yeah… “accounts receivable”.

  2. 2 Foundme

    I wish I had cookies. Lube, eh, done with men for the time being. But cookies. I will never end my love affair for cookies.

  3. 3 Julie

    Jon Stewart, ESC. There’s no h.

    Did you guys also request some Enzyte natural male enhancement while you were at it? ;)

  4. 4 Seth

    Damn! That IS a good day!

    And it looked like you had a great time at the wedding! Congrats Jen and Dave!

  5. 5 rich

    yea your gay faggot

  6. 6 ESC

    oh my god, it’s like the stereotypical troll factory sent a present JUST FOR ME! COOKIES AND LUBE AND A “GAY FAGGOT” TROLL!

    *sniff*

    it’s so much more than I deserve.

  7. 7 Ken

    that title alone… is worth the price of admission.

  8. 8 Julie

    I am confused by the troll. Does Rich mean that you have a gay faggot (”your” gay faggot implies ownership), or in the grand tradition of all blog trolls, does Rich simply not understand the finer points of grammar and spelling and mean to say that *you* are in fact the gay faggot?

    Either way, hey, congrats. Truly a red letter day: lube, cookies, and A TROLL!!! Who says only bad things come in threes?

  9. 9 ESC

    I believe he is making a commentary on society as a whole. “your gay faggot” is ALL of our gay faggots. who among us isn’t hiding our own personal gay faggot?

    let us ALL embrace our own inner gay faggot. only THEN can we continue to grow as a peaceful society.

  10. 10 Julie

    My inner gay faggot is coming out of the closet, man!

  11. 11 rosie

    *sniff* this is so beautiful.
    there’s only one thing i’d like to add. and that’s… nipple.
    i love you all *blubs into hanky*

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