talking with my parents about the son of my father’s cousin (my….3rd cousin?)
Mom: well, all while he was growing up, if you talked to his mother, she ALWAYS said he was going to be a doctor. Oh yes…a DOCTOR.
us: *laugh*
Mom: then he was going into mortuary science. we even ran into them in Oakland once, looking at the mortuary school there.
me: that ever happen?
Mom: no.
me: so what’s he doing now?
Mom: he’s a bouncer at a strip club.
me: …!
Dad: when he needs a date for a family function, I think he just brings one of the girls from the club.
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on the phone with my brother
bro: what are you getting grandpa?
me: I’m making him a fleece blanket.
bro: wow. that’s a REALLY good idea…….fuck you!
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