Evilsciencechick

Perfect boots

Every time we plan a trip to PA, I think about one or two things I’d like to buy for myself while I’m up there, to take advantage of the tax-free status of clothing there. This time I’m thinking “black boots.” This is not a serious, ZOMG NEED BOOTS NAOW!!1!!! idea, this is just a “I’ll keep my eye out for a good deal on black boots” thing. At least, that’s how it starts.

Allow me to predict how this will play out, based on previous experience:

1. Go shopping with mom. Mention “I think I’ll go look to see if they have any good deals on boots here – I’d like a pair of black ones.”

2. Try on some boots – reject for ill fit, wrong price, “too boot-like”, “not boot-like enough”

3. Mom finds 80 bajillion pair for me to try on. Reject for reasons listed above.

4. Mom drags me to every shoe store in the mall BLACK BOOTS!!! WE WILL FIND YOU BOOOOOTS!!!! Mom, really, it’s not a big deal – ooo, wait, how much are those?

5. Mom’s obsession is contagious. BLACK BOOTS ARE THE ONLY THING I’VE EVER WANTED IN TEH WORLD!!!!! In our frenzy, all other shopping is forsaken. No Christmas shopping gets done. No door busters are chased after. ALL BOOTS ALL THE TIME!!! But there are no boots – no boots at all for me!!!! ::weeping and gnashing of teeth::

6. After two days of shopping and feet chaffed from pulling boots on and off, I take an afternoon off while Mom runs to some discount store because they have kitchenaid mixers on sale, or something. She returns with a pair of black boots. Perfect black boots that fit like a dream. They cost almost nothing, and were the only pair of that style there. Worship mom AS A GODDESS!

7. Next time, vow to hit discount store FIRST.

8. Next year, amnesia sets in – MUST GO TO EVERY MALL TO FIND GREY DRESS PANTS!!!!

REPEAT FOREVER!!!

gross miscommunication

Two things you need to know first:

1. Kev got a job working for a guy who buys houses on the cheap, fixes them up, and rents them out. This guy has made a lot of money doing this for the past 30 years, so Kev is getting a lot of mentoring out of this in addition to a paycheck (yay!). Kev is the project manager for the houses in progress, and the property manager for the houses that are rented out. So he’s doing a lot of handyman stuff, and his car and truck are full of handyman crap.

2. Southerners tawwwlk fuhnnneee.

We’re leaving to go out to dinner – walking down the condo breezeway.

Kev: You’re driving.

Me: maaaan!

Kev: Well unless you want semen all over your ass.

Me: … … …WHAT????

Kev: CEE-ment. Ha! Did you think I said semen???

Me: OH MY GOD HAHAHAHA!!! It’s pronounced ce-MENT, you freak!

I’m dreaming of boooooozy christmas!

It’s going to be a mostly homemade/handmade Christmas around here. And I hear you groaning now “NOOOOOOO, IT’S TOO EARLY TO THINK ABOUT CHRISTMAS!!!” , but I say NO IT ISN’T. Not if you’re planning it right. I’m knitting something for just about every member of the family. Those gifts are well underway – hats, scarves, a pair of socks – all flying off the needles for the past two months now. Because I am that good.

You don’t care about that, though. What YOU care about is what ELSE I’m making for christmas. The boooooooze…

I made cranberry vodka a few years ago, after reading something about it online. Seemed pretty easy and fun, and while you have to plan ahead (since it needs to sit for a at least a few weeks), the initial investment of supplies and time is minimal. I made one bottle and took it to my parents’ house for christmas, thinking we’d drink a little, then I’d bring it back home for us to enjoy here. Instead my mom stole the bottle and basically hoarded it for herself until it was all gone.

Spooky, mom.

Anyway, fruit booze is easy and fun, doesn’t require any special equipment, and as long as you have space on your counter and patience, you too can turn your mom into a fruity alcholic!

This year, I’ve decided to mix it up – I want to make cranberry orange spice vodka. Sounds festive, right? Right. Let’s begin. More »« Less

Witchy Woman

I think I’m about due for a post here. Things have been trucking along swimmingly so far this fall. SAFF was a huge success, I think. I arranged for a group of us to stay in a nice cabin nestled in the NC mountains.

cabin views More »« Less

geek redneck car repair

There is a problem with my car where the brake lights don’t go off. One day last week when I tried to leave for work, I was greeted with a DEAD car. Kev was able to diagnose that the little padding thingy that’s on the switch that turns the brake lights on and off with the brakes had worn out.

Yes, those are all technical terms. Shut up.

Temporary fix failed a few days later. SO! Kev is putting on a more permanent fix.

Did he go to the store and buy a new padding thingy?

HELL NO!

Kev: *holds up round plastic thing* I found this! It’s the bottom footing for a computer that I never used! I can zip tie it in place.

Me: *gigglesnort*

Kev: whaaaaat?

Me: Is there any way you can also incorporate duct tape into this fix? Because this is soooo ghetto redneck.

Kev: I can put duct tape on, and then use the zip tie to hold the duct tape in place! What do you think of that?

Me: HAWT!!!!!

Everyone should have a partner so considerate.