Dear Michigan and Florida,
Please stop whining about fairness. You blew it. You wanted to be important so bad that you broke the rules. And when you break the rules, you get punished. This is a presidential primary…not 3rd grade playground rules. THERE IS NO DO-OVER. If you had waited your turn like everybody else, you’d get to have your place in the participation of the self-destruction of the democratic party. (ugh) But you didn’t so just quit yer bitching. You especially, Florida. You’re the royal fuck up of all election fuck ups, anyway.
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Dear everyone shocked - SHOCKED! - about the Spitzer/prostitute fiasco,
Wake up. Really? Really you’re shocked? If had been some old-school republican asshole, you’d all be SINGING with glee and I-told-you-sos. But now you know the truth: being a douchbag knows no political alliance. As for the lovely Miss Kristen, well, now she’s the most famous prostitute since Julie Roberts. I hope she enjoys her 15 minutes. And she’s not a terrible person OR a victim, btw. Girlfriend is making a HELL of a lot more money than most of us, basically doing what amounts to going on a series of dates with dorky desperate men that end with probably kinky but more likely “meh” (for her, anyway) sex with them. Who here has not had a date like that? Wouldn’t have been as terrible if you’d gotten a couple thousand bucks out of the deal, right? Morality aside, anyway. I’m not going to argue that point. There’s a reason why it’s called the oldest profession, and it is NEVER going away. Especially as long as there are rich douchebags with nothing better to do with their money.
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Dear parents of teenagers,
Hey, did you know that the CDC has reported that 1 in 4 teenage girls is infected with an STD of some kind? In african american teen girls, it’s 50%. AND…that the CDC starts tracking sexual activity statistics with girls starting at AGE 10! WAY TO GO, ABSTINENCE ONLY EDUCATION! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It’s also bugging me how the focus always seems to be on teen girls. While the attitude towards teen boys seems to be “well, they just can’t help it now, can they?” Bullshit. HEY MAN-SLUTS - KEEP IT THE FUCK IN YOUR PANTS, OK? Oh, your body is flooded with testosterone and idiot juice? boo-fucking-hoo. Parents - teach your boys to control their dicks NOW, or they will become that date-rape guy in college. Nobody likes the date-rape guy. Also - this SHOULD go without saying? But please….teach them that 10-year old girls ARE NOT APPROPRIATE FUCK-BUDDIES!
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may be updated as I remember recent news stories that have pissed me off
point 1: The two party electioneering must be abolished in favor of multi-party run-offs so the same idiots don’t remain in power. And, with the one’s running, it doesn’t matter anyway.
point 2: An adult prostitute of such high class makes him almost respectable in political circles.
point 3: People are idiots.
I love you, ESC.
1. I think we should take Eddie Izzard’s approach to politics and have a revolution we can afford.
2. I don’t think you can legally BE a politician until you’ve banged at LEAST one high end call girl. I think it’s in the handbook.
3. If you don’t want your teenagers to have sex, DON’T HAVE KIDS. If you’re going to have kids, BE RESPONSIBLE AND REALISTIC ABOUT THEIR UPBRINGING. At one point you were a horny teenager too, even if you don’t remember what that’s like. Condoms are inexpensive and boys AND girls should carry them if they’re going to be sexually active. It’s YOUR responsibility as a PARENT to inform them and make sure they protect themselves. NOT the CDC, NOT churches and NOT the school’s. YOURS.
I love you ESC–will you marry me?
sorry girls, I’m spoken for
Bravo!
Point one: I had nothing to do with the date of the primary election in my state. According to the latest estimate, there are about 10,095,643 people in my state, Michigan. There are 110 state representatives, 38 state senators, and one governor. That means that 149 people are the ones that screwed everything up.
That means… that you are unfairly maligning the anger and outrage of 10 million people by a factor of 67,756 to one.
Cut it out.
Point two: sex work is dangerous, it deserves regulation and openness, not stigma and fear, Spitzy boy is a hypocrite. I don’t abide hypocrites, no matter what stripe of politics they align themselves with.
Point three: I agree with you.
I spread blame evenly over the entire state of Michigan, not just at you. You’re the ones that voted those idiots into office.
And even so…what ISN’T fair is giving you and florida EVEN MORE influence over the election, after your elected officials went and broke the rules. So still. Suck it.
First, Grace, you’re right. Second, I wish I made that much money for all the horrible dates I went on. Especially the crappy bestfriend’s new boyfriend’s best friend blind dates I was constantly getting sucked into. Third, I got a day one old kitten when I was a teen. Had to get up a feed it and wipe it’s butt every two hours round the clock. I’m now 27 and married for three years with still no kids. Lasting impression? I’d say so. My point? Let’s give give every male between the ages of 12 and 47 a kitten and tell them they can’t just leave.
This is the best thing I’ve read all day.
I want a T-shirt that says “Nobody likes the date-rape guy” Is that wrong?
That’s ok, we’d let him watch XD
Two more questions totally off-topic: How close are you to Atlanta and are you somewhere safe instead?
we’re fine - the storm hit worst downtown, and then passed just to the south of us.
ESC–Awesome and thanks for not picking on me for being a worrywart