Dear weather,
Please don’t stop raining. For the next month or so, constant downpouring would be much appreciated. We are in dire need. If you could leave a patch of blue sunny sky over Ashville this weekend, though, that would be just swell.
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Dear Army Core of Engineers and Floridian mussels,
Bite me
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Dear my new doctor,
When I call in asking for prescription refills on your voicemail, that means I need you to call in prescriptions for me soon. Like, that day. If, for some reason you have a problem with that, that is why I leave you my own personal cell phone number. So you can call me and let me know. The pharmacist thinks I’m stalking her because I keep calling and dropping by “do you have my prescriptions yet?” “how about now?” “now???”
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Dear dog rescue groups, breeders, and shelters,
When someone purchases a dog off of you, that is exactly what it is. A purchase. You can say “oh, if you decide you don’t want little Floofy any more, you need to bring him back to me” all you want. And it would be nice if the person did that. But ultimately? As soon as money changes hands, and Floofy is out the door, it becomes that person’s dog. And they can do with it what they want (inside the confines of animal cruelty laws, of course - I’m not condoning dog fighting, or anything). You are not in the business of renting dogs. You are in the business of selling them. So if you find out that someone got a dog from you and then gave it away to someone else, boy does that suck for you but hey…NO LONGER YOUR PROBLEM! And if that person is a celebrity, don’t start whining about getting death threats from strangers when you go all US government vs. Elian Gonzolas on their asses. Take a step back and get some perspective, for jeebus sake.
Dogs are not music downloads: they do not come with DRM.
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Dear Publix employees,
Sorry I wandered zombie-like past you about 8 times in 20 minutes earlier today. I have been drinking so much juice and sucking on so many immune-boosting lozenges that my body is now 23% vitamin C and 12% zinc. It’s apparently affecting my brain function.
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Dear cold virus currently trying to incubate in my sinuses and throat,
DON’T…YOU…DARE!
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Sincerely,
ESC
Actually, most of the shelters around here make you sign a contract saying that you will return the dog to them if you are no longer able to keep it, for the life of the dog. I dunno about the details in the celebrity case, but when I go to my local humane society and adopt an animal, I sign the paper that says they have the right to inspect any time and that they get the dog back if I don’t keep it. (And they tell you right up front that they won’t change the microchip because they want the dog back if it ends up in the pound or something. I think you have to get a second one if you want your name on it.)
Like I said, I don’t know about the details in Ellen’s case, I just know that’s the agreement I made when I got my dogs from our local shelter.
Good luck with the rain. If you figure out how to bring it in and make it stay, lemme know - we could use some here, and I’m pretty sure California would appreciate some too.
I signed the same thing when I adopted Sadie from the humane society. They can have you sign anything they want. I question the legality of it. I seriously doubt those things would hold up in court, if it really came to it.
Well, it might just come to it–I’m thinking Ellen would have the chips to run this one past the Supreme Court if necessary.
Atlanta Metro Area 1990: 2,959,950. 2006: 5,138,223.
That is an increase of 173 per cent in SIXTEEN YEARS. Municipal systems like water supplies take twenty years or more to be fully implemented.
The Army Corps of Engineers and the Florida Mussels don’t need to suck it, overzealous metropolitan governments do.
That debate went on at the SDMB. The consensus was: if you signed a contract with a roofer, and they defaulted on it, would you be as calm and as willing to let it go as you would with the dog?
A contract is a contract. IMHO, if you don’t want to abide by it, don’t sign the contract.
YMMV. Ellen was wrong.
OH yes, lots of cities invoke the “please don’t move here, we don’t have enough water” policy.
shut up.
I’m NOT singling Atlanta out. San Diego is not exactly having the best time.
Growth has consequences. Detroit is not exactly the best example of prudent metropolitan planning. We’re just lucky to be SURROUNDED BY FRESHWATER OCEANS.
A 173 per cent increase in toilets, showers, and sprinklers IN SIXTEEN YEARS is NOT the fault of the Army Corps of Engineers or Florida Mussels.
This is 2007. Atlantans needn’t have to pray for rain.
Wow, you’re bitchier than I am. I hope this cold doesn’t catch up with you–I’d hate to see how that looked!
we’re not having water shortage because of the army corp or mussels. That is the lack of rain, lack of reservoirs, etc.
The ac of e can kiss my ass because they are taking our already mostly drained water source and releasing it downstream to help the mussels. because mussels are more important than georgia. they are not. thus mussels can kiss my ass as well.
Also, Janice - I’m not condoning what Ellen did. If she was going to ignore the contract, she should have argued with it, or gone somewhere else. What she did was MORALLY WRONG. Not legally so. The dog rescue had no LEGAL STANDING to forcefully take the dog away.
I talked to an attorney friend about this contract on purchase of a pet issue. He replied that it’s pretty standard contract law. The terms are set in the contract, and can include a requirement to return the pet to the organization if you decide you can’t live with it. Ellen Degeneres either didn’t read the contract very closely or (my theory, since shelters are generally very upfront about the return requirement) is pulling a Lindsay Lohan. I lost a lot of respect for her over this.
Dear cold virus thingie,
Please leave ESC the hell alone. We have some serious wool sniffing and drinking to do this weekend and she needs all her faculties to be able to appreciate everything. And also, drinking on antibiotics is a no no and we really don’t want to have to go there. So get lost.
K Thanks,
Grace
P.S. I totally side with ESC on the whole Ellen debacle. I just wish it had stayed out of the media. That was unnecessary. As is much of the media regarding celebrities, but that’s all say about my soapbox rant on celebrities.
I am calling my cold virus thingy “allergies” - somehow I am not sick if it is allergies, I know, I am just as sick as if I were actually sick, but allergies I can fight with - being sick makes me feel weak and susceptible
All the immune boosters do seem to be helping - Try airborne every few hours, I think it helps too!!
I thought about you when I saw all the news reports on lack of water. Have you turned in your neighbor yet for watering their lawn? I hear the Water Police are getting inundated.
To Scoot I say “If not getting rain is not a big deal, then why every single time I turned on The Weather Channel did it talk about the lack of rain and drought conditions in the southeast? They did not talk about water tanks.” Just sayin’.
I’m with Ellen on the dog issue because I’ve done the same thing with the Piss Crusader. Actually, mom did it first because she adopted him and then gave him to me when I took Joe, and then I gave him back when I couldn’t handle the diabetes anymore. He is happy at her home. The place we adopted him from? Doesn’t need to know.
Julie…
In a world where growth is thoughtfully tied in with infrastructure growth, Not getting rain should not be a big deal.
We don’t live in that world.
yes yes, in the whole dizzying mess of making sure that there were enough roads and schools and office spaces and homes and targets and costcos and police officers and firemen and krogers and rape crises centers and doctors offices and sewage systems and power plants and everything that most cities need to worry about when their city is growing like a city that HAS something going for it, like businesses and progress and people who want to live there…somehow we didn’t realize that a couple years of unexpected drought would drain of the big fucking lake to the north of us.
and then the fucking ac of e would drain the rest of the lake for fucking mussels.
WE DON’T LIVE IN FUCKING ARIZONA. USUALLY THERE IS RAIN. AND YES, NOW THEY ARE MAKING PLANS AND ALL THAT. MY POINT ABOUT THE WHOLE FUCKING SITUATION IS THAT HI, WE NEED TO KEEP WHAT WATER WE HAVE LEFT RIGHT NOW AND NOT GIVE IT ALL TO FUCKING MUSSELS.
please brag about your mad city planning skilz on your own fucking blog.
Wow. I hope you get Your Meds soon, ESC.
I understand Why the Rescue Group that Ellen adopted her dog from took action, there being A Contract and all. People do Dumb Things with their Pets sometimes. But, what I Don’t Get is Why The Rescue Group doesn’t just go and check out The New Owners. I am sure they are Fine. Then, they could have just Transfered The Adoption to them. Wouldn’t that make More Sense? Instead, The Dog was put back in Foster Care. That seems Backwards to me.
xoxo,
TDR
no meds required. It was mostly low blood sugar.
and a total annoyance with people who have superiority complexes.
Water. We needs it. Since this is the worst drought in recorded history for us, the metropolitan thing loses a little bit of weight. I agree with it in principle, but this is exceptional. The state is going to be out of water in three months. The mussels will die anyway. Meantime, the people who made the stupid lake against all rational thought get the temporary use of the water they blundered into storing and the mussels will have to realize the salad days are over. I like them just fine, and hate to see their destruction but it’s no longer a choice.
We need to make mountains of snow in august, why can nobody see that???
All kidding aside, I do not live in the metro area. I’m a farmer way north of the cities with livestock to feed and hay to make. I run a green farm and my Los Angeles drought training means I’m a natural conserver. We’re absolutely desperate here and your fucking lawn and your clean car and your out of state mussels are the subject of our horror, the loss of our livelihoods, our farms, and in the long term? YOUR FOOD.
I don’t have TV, what is this dog thing you speak of? I was a humane society volunteer for a long time. Those contracts were always a way to cover your ass but you never hope to have to invoke them. Mostly intended for extreme cases and usually not enforceable. I hope you appreciate the advice I’ve given based on my complete ignorance of the situation at hand.
Superiority complex? I live in Metro Detroit. White Flight, burning rivers, riots, and Soupy Sales is my heritage. Metro Detroit is a clusterfuck.
I should be so lucky to live in a place that has to worry about water. Maybe then my municipal governments would only be mildly deranged rather than out and out belligerently hostile to thoughtful development.
Count your blessings, ESC. Chances are Atlanta will make it.
Detroit is rotting from the inside out.