Evilsciencechick

Damn. I need to post about blow jobs more often. I had no idea there would be such an outcry.

I really wish I had something equally as entertaining to post today…but I don’t.

Last night officially signalled the beginning of the holiday season for me. When I got to choir practice and picked up my music from it’s cubby space (#24), I saw the familiar dreaded orange book.

oh no…Handel.

Fortunally, we’re only singing one song from “Messiah,” and it’s for a Advent Hymm sing that we’re doing with the three other churches in the area. Yes…presbyterians, lutherans, methodist, and…god help us…BAPTISTS! all singing under one roof. If this isn’t the apocolypse, I don’t know what is.

Also on a choir-related note, and reason #1862 why ESC is going straight to hell: We’re planning to have a service of music on Dec 5, in honor of my birthday. Well, not because of my birthday, but because it’s advent. Whatever. So the whole service that sunday will just be us singing. For this service, we’re learning a HUGE piece of music that’s many many songs, and we’ll be accompanied by a harp. The piece is called “a celebration of carols,” or something like that, but we just call it “the britton,” because that’s the guy who composed it. I don’t even know his first name. It’s just “the britton.” we’re singing it in old english, which sounds similar to modern english, but there’s an “e” after most words. It’s actually kind of annoying, because some words are ALMOST prounounced like modern words, but aren’t. I would rather sing in latin, because I can sing it phonetically and not have to worry about know what the words mean.

ANYWAY, I’m going to hell because I can’t stop my dirty mind during one song. I’ll give you the words, without the “e”s or weird old english spelling. Is your mind as dirty as mine?

He came all so still
In his mother’s bower
Like dew in april
that falls on the flower.

*snort!*

I’m so going to hell.

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I will be coming home after work today to the smell of hot beef stew bubbling in the crock pot. Mmmmm…nothing better than crock pot beef stew. I also love preparing food in the morning. Chopping veggies is very meditative and relaxing to me - a nice way to start the day.

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Asshat of the week award goes to Delana Davies, who decided that her school’s fun tradition of boys dressing like girls, and girls dressing like boys for a school dance was a little too gay for her.

“It might be fun today to dress up like a little girl — kids think it’s cute and things like that. And you start playing around with it and, like drugs, you do a little here and there (and) eventually it gets you.”

“get’s you?” I dressed up like a gangster for a halloween dance in 6th grade, and I’m only maybe a 1.6…aiming for a 2, on the gay scale.

bitch.

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the Barenaked Ladies have a Holiday CD out: Barenaked for the Holidays. This has made getting up this morning to check my email all worthwhile. Looks like I’ll be heading out to Best Buy this weekend.

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and if anyone has anything else they would like to discuss relating to blow jobs or any other sex-related topic, feel free to continue the conversation here. I’ll just sit back and giggle. hehe…”peachface.” “red tide” *snort!*

Last night when I took Sadie out for her final pee before bedtime, she freaked out on me. Usually, the last pee of the night goes without incident, because she’s tired and has to pee, and because I’m usually in my pj’s. I walk her to the front of the building, stand on the steps while she runs the out the full 16ft of the retractable leash, pees, and then runs back past me, towards the door, because she knows that bedtime and a tarter-control biscuit are soon to follow.

But last night, Sadie saw something across the parting lot that she didn’t like. She stopped short, all the fur on her back stood up, and she growled. At first I thought it might be a cat or a rabbit, hiding out in the strip of landscaping that divides the parking lot, but her reaction was wrong. A cat or a rabbit usually gets a growl that quickly develops into a back of the throat whine, a tail wag, and then a pleading look back at me, “please mommy! let me go try to eat the bunny!”

but this was a low growl, with a few barks. There was something out there she didn’t like. I couldn’t see anything that looked out of place. The lights keep the lot pretty well lit, but created dark shadows in the trees and bushes of the landscaped strip. But that area wasn’t that deep, so no one could really hide there easily. So what was freaking out Sadie.

I was torn. My curiosity was getting the better of me, in spite of my pajama status. A small part of my brain made the ironic comparison of my situation to a B horror movie, and that this was the point when the asshole guy in the back row of the theater would yell out “don’t go out there! just go back inside, stooopid!”

But the larger, more scientifically curious part of my brain wanted to know what the heck got sadie so worked up. She was straining at the leash, so I decided to let her start to lead me to whatever it was she was growling at. Maybe there was something untoward going on! Maybe we would scare of a stalker or an evil-doer! And capture them! and pull of their mask, and find that it was just Old Man Jenkins, the groundskeeper! Meddling kids!

A few steps into the parking lot, she began to bark more, which was not good. There are some seriously bitchy people living in the complex. Bitchy dog hating people who just needed an excuse to complain.

I tried to see where she was looking. On the other side of the landscaped median, there was a parked motorcycle. She seemed intent on that motorcycle. It had been parked there for weeks. I know she had seen it before, we walk past it every day! The only thing different about it was that there was a film of frost covering the windshield, which made it seem more ghostly and creepy.

As we got closer, her barks got louder, and I decided that while interesting, the motorcycle was not an imminent threat, and certainly not worth fighting another complaint from a grumpy woken up neighbor. I called off the search. Back safe inside the house, Sadie lay in her crate, happily chewing on her kong toy with biscuit wedged inside. But for the next half hour, she would occasionally stop and let out a low “woof!” She was still on guard. I lay awake in bed for awhile…listening. But nothing happened, and both of us eventually fell asleep.

This morning I took Sadie for a walk around the parking lot, and she breezed right past the motorcycle without a second look. But it very well could have been the frosted over windshield that freaked her out, because it was unexpected. Sometimes on our walks we’ll come across some garbage: an old trash bag, one of those plastic trays that seedlings come in, and Sadie will bristle, and slowly creep towards it, growling. Then after much sniffing, will realize that it’s harmless, and we’ll be on our way. So last night might have been another example of Sadie’s goofy over-reactiveness.

Or maybe…there was something sinister out there. A lurker…a monster…a wild animal…old man Jenkins…and maybe we scared it off. Brave Sadie…defender of the Condos. After work, I’m going to walk her around the median…looking for clues…

Just call me Velma