Evilsciencechick

oh the stupidity on the today show this morning.

It was concerning mr “hey, I’m just as relevant as howard stern” Imus, who’s recent nosedive into the deep end of the stupid pool is making its round through every newsource that’s ever wanted to read the word “ho” off a teleprompter.

Anyway, as with every news clusterfuck that not worth the energy it takes to change the channel, just as it begins to die out a little, some producer moron comes up with the “WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!” line.

OMG! I have to explain to little Timmy what the mean old Imus said about those nice ladies?

Timmy’s response: “uhhhh…who?”

Why does every little annoying scandal have to be turned into a “very special Blossom” episode? Do we REALLY need to pull our kids out of soccer practice or away from the Wii and sit them down and explain the facts of mean people to them using small tender words that won’t offend their delicate little ears?

No wonder kids don’t take adults seriously.

Listen, Timmy, there are assholes out there. Serious assholes. Who will say mean things to get attention. No one likes them except for Al Sharpton, because he suddenly becomes important and relevant again. Don’t be an asshole, Timmy, OK?

Was that difficult?? No. So can we get on to the REAL NEWS now? Like what color Larry Birkhead is going to paint Danielynn’s bedroom?

OK, I have had just about ENOUGH of the talk shows and made for tv movies featuring skinny girls who wear the fat suit and then oh suddenly they understand the plight of the fat woman.

I am all for fat power. I am all for changing society, for forcing people to understand that not everyone is a size 3 and that all women (and men) deserve respect and awesome clothes, regardless of waist size.

But holy hell, do these tv programs take it way too far. Let me break it down for you:

1. skinny pretty girl gets put in ridiculous fat suit and usually a velvet jumpsuit of some kind

2. faux fat girl goes out in public, looking noticeably nervous and terrified

3. faux fat girl is ignored or openly made fun of. no one will help her when her car breaks down. people point and stare and laugh when she orders ice cream

4. later, as fat suit is removed, skinny pretty girl cries and confesses that she had NO IDEA that being fat was SO TERRIBLE!

OK, seriously…wtf?

I am a fat girl. There is no getting around it. The scale does not lie. I am big and curvaceous and hey yeah, look at this belly. Let me suck that back in for ya.

When I was younger, MUCH younger, like, say 6 years old, yes. I got made fun of. Fat rock! fat kid! oooo! fatty fatty fatterson!

clever things like that. and I would be lying if I said that didn’t cut me to my young bones. I ran home crying many a day.

As I got older, I didn’t get any thinner, but the taunting stopped. Why? Because we GREW UP! If you are still pointing, staring, laughing at, and making fun of an overweight person, and you are over the age of 11, you are a total loser. Seriously.

Yeah, I didn’t date in high school, but that was a self esteem issue. No one was mean or rude to me because of my weight. I was well liked by most social cliques, and even the “popular” crowd were friendly and chatty with me.

And today, I can do things like GO SHOPPING and ORDER PIE and as far as I can tell, NO ONE points and laughs. Or calls me “fatty.” Or even raises one damn eyebrow. I have had complete strangers assist me when I have problems with my car or a ripped shopping bag, or WHATEVER. Because we are grownups.

(OK, the exception to all this might be “circus fat.” If you are circus fat, and there has been a Discovery Health Channel special done on you, like maybe something entitled “the xxxxlb man”, then maybe people might point and stare and snicker. But then you are an extreme case. I’m talking about the regular fatties here.)

Yes, there are prejudices out there, and maybe if I walked into some trendy couture clothing shop and tried to find something that fit me, the salesladies might look at me odd and suggest I try another store. But I KNOW that already. I know where I can shop and where I can’t.

I am a fat girl.

And yet, people still like me. I can buy ice cream without shame.
Shocking! SHOCKING, I SAY!

So please, skinny pretty talk show hosts? Stay skinny and pretty and stick to rating the best mascaras or showing off this year’s hottest trends, and lifetime channel for women? Stick to showing movies about women who are abused by their drug-addicted husbands/boyfriends. Us fatty fatty fattersons are OK. We are not lepers or social outcasts. You being “fat” for one day doesn’t help anyone.

end rant.

I want some ice cream.