MAKE THIS RECIPE

You see this shrimp?

This shrimp is AWESOME.  TOO AWESOME FOR YOU!

But you should make it anyway.  Because?  IT IS AWESOME!  Do you need any more reason?  NO YOU DON’T!

Why am I yelling?  BECAUSE THE AWESOMENESS IS TOO MUCH FOR LOWERCASE LETTERS TO HANDLE!!!!

I swear, this is super easy and delicious.  I don’t even like cooking with shrimp!  But I’ve had this recipe bouncing around in my head for a while, based on some shrimp I saw at Costco, and some different recipes I looked up, and I had to give it a try.  Below is my standard accurate-ish recipe.  If you like things more exact,  you can go google yourself a recipe.

Cilantro Lime Shrimp OF AWESOMENESS

• 1-2 pounds of raw, tail on, deveined shrimp (you can buy them like this IF YOU’RE A SUCKER!  Do it yourself, it’s not that hard)
• 1/2 – 2/3 cup lime juice
• large handful of cilantro – destemmed and chopped
• 3 green onions (scallions) – chopped fine
• 2 tsp of salt -  it’s a marinade – you want salty
• 1/2 tsp-ish black pepper
• big pinch of red pepper flakes – more if you can HANDLE it
• 1/2 cup veg oil

First I par cooked the shrimp.  Some recipes went ceviche style, but that made me a little squeamish.  So I popped the shrimp in the steamer basket and steamed until it’s JUST pink.  BARELY.  In fact, some of the shrimps still had raw spots on them.  So steam or boil your shrimp for just a minute or two, then pop into an ice bath.  Mix the rest of the ingredients together and pour into a lidded container (TAKE THE LID OFF FIRST, IDIOT).  Dump in the shrimp, put the lid on, and kind of swirl and gently shake the shrimp to coat.  DON’T SHAKE TOO HARD!  This recipe is NOT called “Cilantro Lime Bruised Shrimp Pieces.”  Pop it in the fridge.  Before you go to bed, give it another gentle  shake.  Before  you go to work in the morning, another shake.  Every few hours, if you can.  But if not, don’t freak.

By dinner time, you will have perfectly cooked, limey cilantro-ey, spicy shrimp of AWESOMENESS.  You can probably do something fancy, like make a salad of microgreens and heirloom tomatoes, or some shit.  Or you can do what Kevin and I did which was eat them STRAIGHT out of the container like the feral brutes we are.

I only bought a pound of shrimp because I didn’t want to waste the money if this recipe sucked.  BUT IT DOES NOT SUCK.  Next time I’m buying a few pounds, and then just keep stuffing my face with shrimp for the week.  MINE!  MIIIINE!!!!!

Make this!  You won’t regret it!