Evilsciencechick

OK folks, this is what you’ve been waiting for - THE EVILS ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS!!!

Jen asked: I got nothing, unless you know the immediate cure for “new wii” + “too much knitting” shoulder?

Ah yes, I know all too well the pain caused by over-enthusiastic wii fun, combined with knitting exertion. I recommend spending a whole evening taking alleve and lying on a heating pal, NO knitting, NO wiiand the only activity will be to eat oreo cookies and drink milk and change the channel on the tv. Do this until your arm feels better. Then at least once a week forever after that.

Scoot asked: as a life scientist, would you be interested in developing bugs that eat carbon monoxide and hydrogen, and belch out methane?

hmmm…me personally? No.

what? dude, that’s what’s you asked. be more specific next time.

Confiance asked some rhetorical questions, to which I’ll answer: interview well, very cold, and yes, as UW at Madison was my first choice and I DIDN’T GET IN! I think I blew the interview. Her real question was: (do) you know how to make creme brulee and will you make a how-to?

Ah yes! Creme brule! My favorite dessert. I DO know how to make it…sort of…and your question has spawned a CREME BRULE OFF! between Melissa and me. This will take place not THIS sunday but NEXT sunday. Where she will make her version and I will make MY version and we will both take pictures of the process and then there will be a TASTE OFF at Knitch to see who’s is better. So you’ll have to wait a bit for your answer, but it should be worth it!

Nannette asked: wanna come do my homework?

No. Not really. Plus you’ll never learn if you don’t do the work yourself. Also, that is bullshit and homework just sucks.

Brittany asked: OK - so what exactly IS fire???

fire is basically a chemical reaction. when you heat wood, for example, it starts to break down into carbon char and ash. It also releases volatile gases. The atoms composing the gases are excited by the high heat (and really, who wouldn’t be?) and emit light as they are released. The color of the flame depends on what kind of gas is released. Burning wood releases carbon gas, which burns orange. If you were to burn copper, the flame would be green. SCIENCE IS FUN! TRY SETTING STUFF YOU FIND AT HOME ON FIRE AND OBSERVE THE COLOR OF THE FLAME!*

*don’t do this ever

Scoot, who doesn’t give up easily, asked another question: Have you ever thought about cross-breeding or splicing some species of saltwater algae’s genetic code into freshwater algae so as to get some kind of golden ratio of lipid development and cell division?

Have I ever thought about this? Again, I’m going to have to say no. Also, what kind of lipids are you talking about? Do you want faster cell division? You need to work on phrasing your questions better, because honestly, I don’t know what you’re asking. Sorry

Micheal asked: Genetic question: I know the gene for blue eyes and brown eyes is recessive to the one for brown, but a) how does hazel come about (i.e., what’s the genotype for that); b) how do some people wind up with eyes different colors (like David Bowie); and c) if a person gets one gene for blue eyes and another for green eyes, what color eyes would they normally have?

Ah, now THAT is specific and answerable! Sort of! I had to do some googling for this, because I did not know this off the top of my head. Eye color in humans is actually determined by TWO genes, SO FAR. There are likely MORE genes that play a role in eye color that haven’t been identified, or maybe HAVE been identified but there effects haven’t quite been figured out yet. (want to have fun? Go to pubmed and do a search for “genes, human eye color.” count the genes!) So it is more complicated than one loci determining all eye color types. Additionally, it seems like hazel eyes are a bit of a mystery, since they are either lumped in with green eyes or listed along with grey and black eyes under “we don’t know yet”.

OK, so let’s just say for now that there are two different loci (genes) that determine eye color. Brown and Green**, or B and G. These genes are found on different chromosomes. Brown is the stronger of the two, so inheriting one dominant B allele (basically, gene variant) from either parent is enough to give you brown eyes, no matter what allele you have at G. However, if you inherit the recessive b allele from both parents, then G comes into play. If you are bb, and inherit the dominant allele G from either parent, your eyes will be green. Or, possibly maybe hazel. *waves magic science fingers* This is where those other as of yet unidentified eye color genes comes into play…maybe. But if you inherit recessive g from both parents, your eyes will be blue. So to break it down, your eyes will ONLY be blue if you are bbgg. If you are bbGg or bbGG, your eyes will be green. Or hazel. *magic science fingers*

I know that doesn’t answer your question totally, but HEY this is genetics and believe me, there is a lot of hand waving no matter what the subject. *HAND WAVING!* It is the geneticist’s friend.

As for our friend, Mr Bowie - he CLAIMS to have lost the color in one eye in a fight. Really? Really??? I doubt it. More likely he has heterochromia, which is a genetic condition that affects the number of pigment cells in the eyes. It’s a condition found in many animals - cats and horses, for example, and can also be associated with deafness and premature hair graying.

**not their real names.

Blogless Tracy (what is UP with that, girl? get a blog, yo!) asked: Why do American radio stations all seem to start with k or w and be called kndr or wzld or something?

Because way back when radio was NEW and EXCITING, there was a treaty that basically said “OK, you’re the USA? You get K. Canada, you get C. Mexico? Umm…how about X?” Why did they do this? I dunno. Simplicity? Eventually the US ran out of K names and did some complaining, so we also got W. And ever since, radio stations west of the Mississippi river got K names, east of the river got W. With some exceptions - the OLDEST ratio station in the US is KDKA, which is still operating in PITTSBURGH, PA, BOO-YAH, MOTHERFUCKAHS!!!

KC delurked just so he(?) could ask: What exactly IS Kev’s favorite sexual position?

Ha, I bet you’re expecting me to get all flustered and embarrassed and shit. Nuh uh, I’m not. Kev prefers a doggy style like position, where I am positioned near the edge of the bed on my hands and knees, while he stands behind me, next to the bed. He gets the best leverage that way, and we even bought a special strap to get the best bang (heheh) for our buck. I highly recommend it

“anonymous” asked: A long while ago you told us about some lubricants and toys you got at a sex shop. Did they work out well?

Well, a while back I DID pick up some lube - do you mean this?

Yes yesss…well, yes. Excellent. The big bottle is our “every day” lube. It’s perfect for the job - it doesn’t get dry or sticky or flaky, a little dab will do ya, and there is a TON of it. Four months later and we still have half a bottle left. Also, as it is glycerin-free, I don’t have any issues with itching afterwards. VERY nice. The other stuff? Mmm…yes…it works out JUST fine. You need more than just a dab to really get things going, but it’s much better than astroglide, or any other crap you can buy at Wal-mart. A+, highly recommended.

Julie asked three questions:

Why does bacon go so well with everything?

because pork fat is the food of the gods. it is holy, and therefore everything it touches BECOMES holy.

Why is knitting such a gateway craft?

Because everyone you end up hanging out with who does it is a total enabler. joooiiiinnnn ussssss! you liiiiiike the prettttty yaaaaarrrnnnnn? why not tryyyy sppinnnnnning the pretty yaaaaarrnnnn?

And perhaps most importantly, would Kev ever consider cage-fighting as a career? (I ask because Rick keeps threatening that as a career move, and they should team up.)

Kev says yes, because when he gets into a fight (??? presumably long before he met me) he doesn’t feel pain. And because it would be awesome. Super. Now we just have to think of a name for this dynamic duo. “The fighting way-too-old-for-this-shit dudes!”

Aimee asked: If I decide not to go back to law school, can I make a living with my sewing business?

Once again, I will say that I AM NOT PSYCHIC! But I WILL say that if there is something you desperately want to do, then you have to throw you whole heart and soul into if you want to make it work. Your sewing business CAN work, but it will take an amazing amount of work and time. Law school is one path, sewing is another. Decide which one is best for you, and do it. If you pick sewing, then you’re going to have to find another job to pay the billz until the business gets on its feet. This might not be a glamorous job, but it will need to be something to support you and your daughter. The rest of your family? You can’t spend the rest of your life being solely responsible for them. But that is outside the scope of your question, and you already know my opinion on that

Nanner asked: Is the year that I’ll find a good man?

There are lots of good men out there. Are you looking in the right places? And are you open to the right ones? It’s all up to you, babe. Put yourself out there, avoid the drama-llamas, the i’m-technically-still-marrieds, the i-don’t-appreciate-you-at-all-now-get-me-a-beer-bitch!’s and keep your fingers crossed. Online. Clubs. Charities. Keep looking, he’s out there. I know it (((hug)))

Jenifleur asked: If a train leaves Chicago heading toward Sacramento at 8:02 am and is traveling at 50 MPH and another train leaves St. Louis traveling toward Seattle at 10:20 pm and is going 63 MPH, then why do “they” always say it’s going to be another bad year for fall colors whether it’s been wet, dry or average?

Because “they” pull answers out of their ass every year. If it’s too wet, the leaves will rot on the tree before they turn colors. If it’s too dry, they’ll brown quickly. You want a wet summer followed by a dry fall to get the best fall colors. Maybe.

Brittany the over achiever asked another question: Oh, should I quit my job and go back to school for a PhD or a third master’s?????

OK, given the additional information you provided, here we go. Again, you have two paths: nursing or craftiness. If you quit your job, you pick one of those paths. Ask yourself “what will either of these school options give me?” If you get a PhD in nursing, what would you do with it? If you want to quit your job so badly, you must not enjoy it all that much. Would a PhD give you higher pay in the same kind of job? Would you want to teach? Would that give you more job satisfaction? Or would you be just as miserable, but with more letters after your name? On the other hand, if you deep down crave releasing your inner crafty bitch, and you want to take the risk of starting a business, an MBA will serve you well. But with that, there is risk! Much risk! And probably a significant pay cut, at least at first, before you’re wildly successful and famous. So I guess what you have to decide is…do you want job satisfaction and doing what you love, but be willing to less money doing it? Or do you want to stay the course, increase your skilz and knowledge at something you already know you can do, get better opportunities out of it, and keep getting that sweet steady yarn money?

I know I mostly asked you questions there, but ultimately, it is YOU that makes the final decision. I think you’re leaning towards the MBA. And if that is the case, do it! If the man is behind you and will support you 100%, then you need no more blessing from me!

and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, has been the latest ASK THE EVILS! I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for making it a smash hit once again. All my answers are 100% guaranteed, so if you are unsatisfied with your answer for any reason, I will give you a full refund.