the waiting then panicking game
This is the time of the year that drives Sadie crazy. Between my birthday and christmas, hardly a day goes by when there is not a quick knock at the door, a plunk, and then a hasty retreat. By the time Sadie has her feet under her and finds some traction on the the wood laminate floors, the post/UPS/fedex person has already beat a hasty retreat. And Sadie is left to menacingly woof and sniff by the bottom of the door. Then I open the door, and the little chickenshit hides behind me and barely peers around. You know. In case it’s murderous monsters.
The entertainment lasts all day, because she is so wound up from the excitement, that for HOURS, I can gasp, look at the door, and say “WHO’S THERE???” and have her take off barking. WHO NEEDS TV???
Anyway, the other day the familiar pattern took place *knock knock knock* *plonk* *run* *WOOF WOOOF WAAARRRARARRRRRRAAAARRRLLL WOOF!* And lo and behold, it was a heavy box from my great aunt and uncle. Early Christmas! A Harry & David’s fruit box containing apples, oranges, and pears!
This is kind of a big moment for me. Because my great aunt and uncle send these out to family EVERY year…but I’ve never gotten one. Only FAMILIES get the fruit. Because it’s a lot of fruit for one person.
This year…we got fruit. Sweeeeet.
The oranges were juicy. The apples, sweet. But the pears were just not ready yet. And this bugged me, because I know that H&Ds are FAMOUS for these pears. And pears in general are FAMOUS for one thing: being hard and inedible, then achieving ripeness for approximately 10 hours before becoming a rotten mess of goo. I pushed on the flesh of one of the pears. Hard. Not ready.
So for the next couple of days, I’d push against one of the pears in the morning. Maybe again in the afternoon. And again at night. Waiting…waiting…waiting…
Yesterday morning…I forgot.
That afternoon…it must have slipped my mind.
So last night, around 1am, I was kissing Kev goodnight and leaving him to fall asleep peacefully without me watching tv and giggling next to him, when I noticed the pears on the dining room table.
*push*
ALLLLL RIIIIIGHT!
OH SHIT!
I yell through the bedroom door.
“KEV! THE PEARS ARE RIPE!!! MAKE SURE YOU TAKE ONE WITH YOU TOMORROW MORNING!” and I grab a knife and cut off a fat slice of ripe pear.
ooommmmmmm….
Juice ran down my chin.
From the bedroom, behind the door “Whaaaat? I can’t hear you!!!”
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE A PEAR WITH YOU TOMORROW!!! THEY ARE GOING TO BE BAD BY TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!”
Then I shoved the rest of the pear in my face as fast as I could. Then I sucked on the core.
These…are some damn good pears. But who knows how long they have been ripe??? what if they go bad????
I should have another. Or three.
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grace (54 comments)
Knit Witch (31 comments)
Jane (20 comments)
Heh. My dogs are the same way….Boingo can’t settle down once the deliveries start.
I don’t like pears.
Rufus has Swiffer to play with, so he is kind of mellow, well, that and being part basset hound…
I wonder if I can grow a Pear tree. Hopefully we will get apples next year. Hmm… a pear tree would take years to grow, right? But it would be soooo worth it…
dude, i have, in moments of indiscretion and maybe intoxication, attempted to eat the royal riviera pears off the catalog page. so. yummy.
i play the same tricks on vash, except for us it’s “where’s dad? is dad home? better go see!” followed by 10 minutes of hilarity as he sprints from the window overlooking the parking lot to the front door and back again, trying to find shawn. good times.
The best part: you can binge on pears guilt free. Because they’re fruit and good for you!
I heart fruit.
Amy–You have a dog named Vash? How cool
ESC–I’d take pears off your hands but they’d be frozen goo when they got to me.
And btw, did you get your box?
YES! I replied to you waaaay back here. THANKS! I am washing my face with pepperminty goodness
I am pretty sure pears can be refrigerated to slow down the ripening process. They can also be put in paper bags to speed up the ripening process. I’m able to keep pears pretty stable for about a week.
As soon as I started reading pears, I read the rest of the post with Eddie Izzard’s voice in my head.
Grace~And that’s a bad thing?
“Give me a fucking banana!”
Chelsey is right. I don’t know about the week part, but ripe and then in the fridge gives you a last another day or so. We got some peaches from H&D as a gift, they were huge! Enjoy the pears!
Why doesn’t Sandy like pears? (I’m obsessed with knowing the reasons behind people’s food quirks.)
Julie ~ Hardly! “I do not have any bananas. On this day.”
I don’t like pears either. But I’m glad you enjoyed all the rest of it. I loved talking with you earlier today–It’s been WAY too long since we all visited like that.