Say you have a blog, and while it’s a public blog, you’ve never really mentioned anything about it to your family, because you write about very personal things, as well as naughty adult type stuff.
Now say that your blog is about to go public in a slightly bigger way, let’s say for example, a link on a much more popular blog, or maybe a mention in a widely circulated periodical. Let’s also say that this link or mention will also use your real name.
You know for certain that your family does not read said popular blog or widely circulated periodical, however, you cannot be certain that their friends don’t…though it seems unlikely. Still, there is always a chance.
Do you: come clean to your family in advance, so that they don’t hear about your blog “on the streets?”
or do you: keep quiet and hope maybe no one will notice?
This is allll purely hypothetical, of course.
well.
if you tell them, and they would not have ever heard, you might feel like you’ve outed yourself for no reason.
But. if they hear about it from someone else, they’ll think about it in the terms that person uses.
So. it might be better to tell them about it yourself, then you can introduce it in your terms.
yes, sometimes it’s a bit rude, but you are a married adult!
you are never mean, or really gratuitous. and the audience it aims at is maybe just not your parents.
tell them it’s a bit of fun, and has brought you friends, and has helped you deal with stuff, as well as just having a bit of fun and a laugh (rather than really being offensive, or really hurting anyone) .
and also, that they dont have to read it, the same way, our parents dont usually overhear our conversations with our friends in private, or our partners.
but if they do read it, they have to bear that in mind. and not just focus on the rudie bits, but the whole thing as a great project. and that you do not use your name.
and if anyone does tell them about it, that unless that person says “wow. your daughter has a cool, really popular, funny blog with loads of regular readers and commenters. that’s so cool, i bet you’re really proud”, then they have to question that person’s motives rather than yours.
any questions?
Hahahahaha!
You’re fucked.
I say you password protect. Like RIGHT NOW.
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. THEY WILL PROBABLY NEVER KNOW.
Rosie is eloquent. I am strident. Keep your mouth SHUT, girl!!
Delurking to agree with Sloth. Never out yourself! Better to beg for forgiveness later or some such shit. hmm. Your grown, they may not even want to know. I probably wouldn’t want to read my parents adult talky.
So, hypothetically if they find out, does this mean Aimee, Nanner, Rick, and I can give up the “We met at an online craft forum” ruse?
If your parents are as cool as my mom? You’re set. If they’re more like my aunt? Totally fucked. Godspeed, dude.
Oh man… if your mom reads this post and these comments, she’s going to see me swearing up there. Damnit! Now we’re all fucked.
so… just hypothetically…
which other blog or publication is using your fame to poularise themselves?
(and why are they using your real name?)
If the possibility that your family etc might find your blog would make you censor yourself in the future or clean up your archives, then you might ask the larger entity to use your pseudonym, and if that didn’t fit in with their plans, to not reference you. I’d rather not have my real name linked to my blog anyway, if I wanted it that way I’d have set it up like that originally. Personally, I don’t care if the internet read on my blog that the framing in the house had to be reinforced to support my wall mounted self propelled super moto man 3000 vibrator with the realistic simul-jac feature or that the ceiling started raining plaster if I tried to set the skill level for anything above “highly excited male virgin”, but if my aunt or my sister figured out it was me, i suspect that my branch of the family tree would be lopped off.
This about all the buttsecks posts, isn’t it?
OK, I’ll get serious. Whoever was referring to “It’s better to beg forgiveness than ask permission” had a point. I’ve let being found intimidate me a couple of times, but I’m at the point now where I just do not fucking care if it’s found now. Things can’t get worse with TAFKAH, the LON or anyone else. Azuma has the URL but I don’t know if he reads it. My family’s read my blog all along. I’ve decided that I’m not moving the blog again and will only password it to keep my one brother from going blind over any potential buttsecks posts.
I’m all for giving up the ruse… I mean so long as they find your blog and not my link.
Everything is eventual, ESC. How we respond to this fact really determines what our reality is. If you tell your family about this blog, you control the mesage, and form the context.
Secrets can’t hurt, but discoveries can be devastating.
Spin the message in your favor, dear.
Is that why you but the home page? Or did you had it before and I just didn’t notice?
I respectfully disagree with Scoot. You didn’t put anything up in this blog about your family, so it’s not like you need to apologize for anything, or spin it. This is who you are, butt secks and all. If they discover it? Well, that could be awkward for a bit, but I don’t see how it could hurt anyone’s feelings.
But…If you’re afraid to tell them (or afraid they’ll find out)…Isn’t it safe to assume that they will react in a negative manner? I’m just sayin’…
As an aside, How cool is that, hypothetically, that you’re on the cusp of “the fame?” Hypopthetical fame, of course…
I guess that would hypothetically be cool.
I’m with Rosie. Hypothetically what the hell is going on?
No way. Tell them nothing. If they ask come clean, but not until they ask. It isn’t like you’re saying bad things about your fam on here right? And you’re an adult in the 21st digital century, so I don’t see anything for them to get upset about.
I agree with several other people that say don’t mention anything unless they mention it to you. Personally, I don’t hold things back on my blog but I try to limit the amount of information that would directly link back to me, like if someone searched something on google and my blog would appear within the first, say three pages. Boy is even more obsessed but has yet to find me with his computer-wizz skills. So, I think we have similar situations where we have blogs, divulge personal information but nothing personal enough to get us discovered.
I believe in dealing with problems as they appear especially if the chances are remote to none the problem will present itself.
Well I guess you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I think what someone should be asking themselves if they were in this sort of situation is… how well do my parents actually know me. No I don’t mean the facts that have been written about, I mean the attitude, the person in general. Know what I mean? It would be no surpise to any of my friends or family if they read my blog, no matter what subject matter I was posting about. They would not be shocked.