Proof that I did indeed take sadie to the park:
More at the picture site.
Monthly Archive for September, 2004
When I was younger and stupid, ie: in high school, my music tastes did not wander too far away from the top 40 station. The exception was my disturbingly large collection of musical soundtracks. Actually, the musical soundtracks were my clue as to what my taste would develop into, once the facism of high school was behind me. What I like about music is the singing. Why? Selfishly, it’s because I like to sing. I like music I can sing along to. Loudly. When I’m in the car. Or doing the dishes. Or just walking down the street. I have a pretty good voice, I’m not ashamed!
So when the hardcore grunge of the early 90’s slowly gave way to the singer songwrite, I was in heaven! Especially the women artists like Sarah and Jewel (yes, Jewel, before she sold out and become all whore-y).
I think the reason I love that kind of music so much is how expressive it is, capturing nuances of emotion that I could never express otherwise. I am not a poet or songwriter. I don’t scribble my pain away on tablets. I envy those that do. Instead I sing my pain away in songs that other people wrote. I have lived my life as soundtracks. Songs for the sad times and happy times, when I’m in love or when I’m brokenhearted. It’s pretty safe to say that I’ve got a song playing in my head most of the time. And not always the annoying ones, like the winky winky song.
The Indigo Girls have been around a long time. I knew of their existance when I was in high school and college. I knew that their music was right up my alley. But, and this is perhaps one of the stupidest notions I have ever had: I was afraid to buy a CD or listen to their music much. Why? Because they were…gasp! lesbians. Don’t get me wrong, I had no qualms with lesbians. But I went to college in a very small, very rural town. People were not very open minded about alternative lifestyles. I was afraid that if I listened to music sung by lesbians, people would think I was a lesbian. After all, I wasn’t really dating anyone. I was not sleeping around with the college boys. I was teetering on the edge, apparently, and I didn’t want anything to push more over the social ledge.
Now, is that about the dumbest logic you have ever heard in YOUR ENTIRE LIFE??? I am ashamed to even admit it.
Fast forward to my first year in Atlanta. A friend in my class asks if anyone wants to go see the Indigo Girls in concert. Sure! Why not? I was curious. And slight more evolved than I had been in college (I hoped).
That was one of the most amazing concerts I had ever been to. That music took hold of me. Every song Amy and Emily sang was TO ME! Like they knew me! They were singing my soundtrack!!!
After the concert, Least Complicated was my new favorite song. I went out and bought some CD’s. Like an addict, I wanted more!
I’m just a mirror of a mirror myself
All the things that I do
And the next time I fall I’m gonna have to recall
It’s isn’t love it’s only something new
All the things that I do
And the next time I fall I’m gonna have to recall
It’s isn’t love it’s only something new
It was the best song ever. That song is about me, definately. And I listened to my new CD’s. OMG! Galileo! That’s my new favorite song! I am using way too many exclamation points!!!
How long till my soul gets it right
Can any human being ever reach that kind of light
I call on the resting soul of galileo
King of night vision, king of insight
Can any human being ever reach that kind of light
I call on the resting soul of galileo
King of night vision, king of insight
I’m not making a joke, you know me
I take everything so seriously
If we wait for the time till all souls get it right
Then at least I know there’ll be no nuclear annihilation
In my lifetime I’m still not right
It was something I could roll down the windows of my car and sing at the top of my voice.
I own quite a few Indigo Girl CD’s now. But for Christmas a few years ago, my friend JN bought me the CD that I listen to the most: Retrospective
It’s kind of a “best of” CD. They have a few out, but Retrospective is the best. Every song on it is my favorite. I know all the words.
I imagine, maybe…one day…in the distant future… sitting next to a cradle, singing a baby to sleep with Power of Two. Not really a lullaby, but I like the part about scarying away the monsters.
Now we’re talking about a difficult thing
And your eyes are getting wet
I took us for better and I took us for worse
Don’t you ever forget it
Now the steel bars between me and a promise
Suddenly bend with ease
The closer I’m bound in love to you
The closer I am to free
And your eyes are getting wet
I took us for better and I took us for worse
Don’t you ever forget it
Now the steel bars between me and a promise
Suddenly bend with ease
The closer I’m bound in love to you
The closer I am to free
So we’re okay
We’re fine
Baby I’m here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
We’ll look at them together then we’ll take them apart
Adding up the total of a love that’s true
Multiply life by the power of two
Get Out the Map is another one of those feel good, fuck the world, I’m rolling down the windows and screaming it from the top of my lungs kinds of music. You can’t help but sing along. Also a good “piss off to this town” kind of song. I sing it whenever I get sick of Atlanta - which is more and more, these days.
Why do we hurtle ourselves through every inch of time and space
I must say around some corner I can sense a resting place
With every lesson learned a line upon your beautiful face
We’ll amuse ourselves one day with these memories we’ll trace
I must say around some corner I can sense a resting place
With every lesson learned a line upon your beautiful face
We’ll amuse ourselves one day with these memories we’ll trace
Get out the map
Get out the map and lay your finger anywhere down
We’ll leave the figuring to those we pass on our way out of town
Don’t drink the water there seems to be something ailing everyone
I’m gonna clear my head
(I’m gonna clear my head)
I’m gonna drink that sun
(I’m gonna drink that sun)
I’m gonna love you good and strong while our love is good and young
Go is a feminist anthem. Real girl power, not that slutty fake poppy shit.
did they tell you it was set it stone
that you’d end up alone
use your years to psyche you out
you’re too old to care
you’re too young to count
that you’d end up alone
use your years to psyche you out
you’re too old to care
you’re too young to count
did they tell you, you would come undone
when you try to touch the sun
undermine the underground
you’re too old to care
you’re too young to count
And then there’s Ghost. Very few songs make me cry. In fact, only two do. Angel, by Sarah McLachlan, and Ghost. Angel, because that was the song that was all over the radio when my brother was in the hospital. And Ghost because it is about how painful love can be. I defy anyone who’s had their heart broken to listen to Ghost and not cry. Here’s all of it:
There’s a letter on the desktop
That I dug out of a drawer
The last truce we ever came to
In our adolescent war
And I start to feel the fever
From the warm air through the screen
You come regular like seasons
Shadowing my dreams
That I dug out of a drawer
The last truce we ever came to
In our adolescent war
And I start to feel the fever
From the warm air through the screen
You come regular like seasons
Shadowing my dreams
And the mississippi’s mighty
But it starts in minnesota
At a place that you could walk across
With five steps down
And I guess that’s how you started
Like a pinprick to my heart
But at this point you rush right through me
And I start to drown
And there’s not enough room
In this world for my pain
Signals cross and love gets lost
And time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits
I need you the most
I’m in love with your ghost
I’m in love with your ghost
Dark and dangerous like a secret
That gets whispered in a hush
(don’t tell a soul)
When I wake the things I dreamt about you
Last night make me blush
(don’t tell a soul)
And you kiss me like a lover
Then you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river
Play your memory like a piper
And I feel it like a sickness
How this love is killing me
I’d walk into the fingers
Of your fire willingly
And dance the edge of sanity
I’ve never been this close
I’m in love with your ghost
Unknowing captor
You never know how much you
Pierce my spirit
But I can’t touch you
Can you hear it
A cry to be free
Oh I’m forever under lock and key
As you pass through me
Now I see your face before me
I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island
As the sand beneath me slips
As I burn up in your presence
And I know now how it feels
To be weakened like achilles
With you always at my heels
This bitter pill I swallow
Is the silence that I keep
It poisons me I can’t swim free
The river is too deep
Though I’m baptized by your touch
I am no worse than most
In love with your ghost
You are shadowing my dreams
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)
I don’t know why I felt moved to dedicate an entire post to the Indigo Girls. Probaby because that’s the CD I have playing in the car, so I’ve been listening to it again for the past few days. A good sountrack to calm me for the crappy stuff I’ve been dealing with in the lab. And also because I don’t have deep thoughtful poetry to post. I’m not a songwriter. I am amazed I have kept this blog for as long as I have, or that I’ve been able to string words together into something not only legible, but potentially mildly entertaining as well.
Make of it what you will. I need to get to bed!!!
I had to do some template tweaking, as my sidebar looked a little screwy in Firefox. It looks OK now that I’m at work and back to IE, but let me know if there’s anything drastically wrong.
The first email I read this morning as I casually sipped coffee and debated which wedding dress I should vote for on the today show, was from my boss, telling me that she’ s been asked to review a paper that pretty much scoops my newest project. GAAAAH!
(that means that they did pretty much what I was planning to do, and got the answer before I could. bleah!)
I got another cup of coffee and ate two rows of squares off my chocolate bar (cadbury’s dairy milk. best chocolate bar ever.) The breakfast of champions.
Boss lady still feels I can continue my project, as they have likely used a plasmid assay system and mine is integrated.
(that means…never mind, would take too long to explain).
Also, they generally use direct repeats for recombination, where we use inverted repeats.
(ditto above)
So while they got the answer we were expecting, I can mostly continue with my new project, as it is just barely different enough to be worth it. Also, now I have to review this paper, as boss lady doesn’t have the time. My first paper review - ack! I’m not all that great at reading other people’s data critically. That’s why I generally do PNAS papers for journal club, because they’re crappy in a very obvious way, so they’re easy to read critically.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Apologies to anyone who’s published in PNAS. I’m sure YOUR paper is wonderful and not full of glossed over explanations, “data not shown’s,” and obvious hand wavings.
Anyway, not the greatest way to start your morning. Welcome to Wednesday, your project is redundant.
I have downloaded and installed the Firefox browser from Mozilla, and therefore have inched my way up the geek ladder somewhat. Seems to be working OK. I’m hoping to avoid any more nasty spyware incidents. Anyone else using it who has an opinion?
Once again, I have failed my dog as a mother. I’ve been promising to take her to the park now that the weather is nice a cool. I don’t take her in the heat of summer, as she spends most of the time lying in my shade. Sucks to have a black fur coat in July in Atlanta. But now the weather is wonderfully cool and perfect park weather.
Yesterday I got home from work too late. Today, Kevin surprised me for our year and a half anniversary (we’re so sweet it’s pathetic, right?) with take out fried chicken, cole slaw, mashed potatoes, and super sweet tea from Mrs. Winners, apple pie and a chocolate bar, and flowers.
Best. Boyfriend. Ever.
Tomorrow is choir practice. So THURSDAY I WILL TAKE MY POOR NEGLECTED DOG TO THE PARK!!! And she will stop giving me those sad puppy looks
yeah, like that.
I rode the bus in atlanta for the first time on saturday. Scary! I’ve ridden the train before, but buses scare me. Their routes seem random and undefined. They make stops that aren’t on schedule and sometimes you have to let them know that you want this stop, but if you don’t know that ahead of time, they can drive right past your stop and then you are LOST and SCREWED!!!!
I like the train. Defined stops. One direction. Very easy. West, transfer, North or South…and…you’re there!
Buses represent chaos.
Saturday, I had to ride TWO buses! Oh my god!!! bus, train, train, bus, mall. So the reward was there: mall. I just had to brave it out.
The reason for this drama is that Kevin decided to work on saturday, and we thought it would be nice if I could get to this mall, which is near where he works, and then he could just meet me, we’d shop, eat, etc. How nice! But it would be stupid of me to drive, also very not environmentally friendly. So, MARTA (”it’s smarta!”) it is!
I managed to make it to the mall in one piece, thanks to some very nice bus drivers, and in spite of poorly labelled buses. When I met up with Kevin, I learned, to my shock, that in spite of his y chromosome status, the man is a HUGE bargain clothes buyer! This from the man who I had to beg…BEG!!! last year to buy a new pair of khakis. (”your old ones are too tight! you need a bigger size!” “no I don’t! they…uh…shrunk! in the wash! I can still button them!” “fine. now breathe.” “I don’t need to breathe!”)
Kevin bought three…THREE! pairs of shorts ($6 each), two nice shirts, and four nice t-shirts (also $6 each). He also graciously bought me a skirt, since I’ve bought him clothes in the past.
NOTE: guys, if your girlfriend starts buying you clothes, it is NOT because she’s just trying to be nice. It is because your old clothes are ugly and/or ill fitting. Throw them away and wear the new stuff. Trust me. That is all.
The skirt is BEAUTIFUL! It’s tan with Indian style brown and green stitching around the edges, with gold discs sewn into the design. And it’s mid-calf length, which is a difficult length to find in non-old lady styles. I don’t have anything to go with it, though. Which means…yay! more shopping in my future. I also bought a pair of jeans and a button down blouse which only gaps a little bit around my boobs. That is a problem I have with button down shirts. If they’re not cut right, they will gap at my boobs. Can I get an amen from my boob blessed sisters?
We walked around Crate and Barrel, which has to be my favorite kitchen store. I can’t WAIT to register!!! I was actually in PAIN! I WANT THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT!!!!
I am selfish and materialistic. But I want a pasta maker, dammit!
Kevin just rolled his eyes. He’s a pretty good sport about it. “when the time is right” he keeps telling me. But I need that olive tray now!!! Bwahaha…what a brat I am!
This is why I stay away from malls most of the time. I am dangerous there!
