Yet I keep trying. And Ikea feeds the urges.

Behold…the storage:

It takes up the only full wall in the sunroom. Now I have to find a new place for all of Sadie’s crap and a bunch of Kev computer stuff. Which is either shoved to the other side of the sunroom, blocking the door to the balcony, or stacked in the living room, blocking EVERYTHING. See? Compensatory messiness!

However, it may all very well be worth it.  Behold, the organization:

Click to see what everything is And before you ask, yes. Yes, that is my yarn stash, ORGANIZED BY COLOR! Would you like a tissue for your tears of joy and disbelief?

Tomorrow we take a shitload of stuff to the dumpster, and then a shitload of stuff to storage…but then we’re getting a bunch of stuff OUT of storage (including more stuff to go into my beautiful cubbyholes!) so the net effect will probably be nil. But still…it is a glory to behold, is it not? And mad props to Kev, who I shanghaied into driving me to Ikea, and then managed to get the massive boxes containing the glory into his car (smooshing me into a corner of the back seat). And THEN helped me put the behemoth together.

Kev: oh my god, I don’t think I knew how much yarn you had!  you have too much yarn!

ESC: hey, now..I don’t have NEARLY as much yarn as you have…that…computer junk stuff in the other room!

Kev: well! well…you know…most of that stuff was uhh…free.

ESC: it’s still junk!

On the list of things to purchase is a way to organize the spare bedroom, such that the room can simultaneously be Kev’s computer man-room AND a guest bedroom. And not just one OR the other at any given time. As far as I can tell, no such magical solution exists. But I have full faith in the Swedish and their amazing design mojo. One day, the perfect thing will be in the Ikea catalog. It will be called Flaürgenjüner, it will come in 3 veneer colors, sell for $249, and chip like a motherfucker.

AND I WILL BUY IT!

And Kev will fit it into the camry.

Presenting: everyone likes cake!

Hey…I have a baseball shirt in MY designs! What a coincidence! Clicky above to see it!

Also, two more shirt designs!

Scene: kitchen

ESC and Kev talk about something or other

Kev: so blah blah blah and blah *turns around to walk into dining room*

*thwap!*

*my espresso pot goes flying off the counter onto the floor*

*CLANK KONK CRASH!*

Kev: well THAT was a good place for it

ESC: oh GODDAMMIT, no! every GODDAMN time you knock something over or something FALLS on the floor, it is NEVER your GODDAM fault! everything is SOMEONE ELSE’S fault for putting it there!

Kev: hehehehehe..what? nuh uh!

ESC: oh YEAH it is! EVERY GODDAM TIME! you just plow through everything in your way! you knock shit over ALL THE TIME and NEVER PICK IT UP!

Kev: I pick stuff up! usually!

ESC: MAYBE you do! most of the time NO! you are like…like…TYRANNOSAURUS KEVIN! You’re like ‘RAAARRR! RARRRR! I’M A TYRANNOSAURUS! EVERYTHING IS IN MY WAY! RARRRR!’ and you just knock stuff over all the time! you don’t care!!! RARRRRR!!!

Kev: HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! I like that! tyrannosaurus Kevin! RARRRR!

ESC: exactly! RARRRR! CRASH! EVERYTHING IS IN MY WAY AND NOT MY FAULT!

Kev: I hope you’re going to blog this. With the sound effects and everything.

what?

THIS blog, silly?

what? what do you mean this isn’t…?

oh yeah? fuck you!

anyway…where was I? Oh yeah, after reading these hallowed pages…errr…screens, do you ever find yourself thinking “MAN! I wish I had an evil science t-shirt or additional fun evil product of my very own!”

Well today is YOUR LUCKY DAY! In addition to my shot over at etsy, where I sell my FABULOUS STITCH MARKERS SO IF YOU KNIT, WHY NOT BUY SOME?…I also have set up a shop at Spreadshirt.com where you can purchase t-shirts and other fun items designed by me and me alone. I have shirts that feature the infamous EvilChick herself, as well as some that feature everyone’s favorite canine pal, SADIE!

FAQs:

how do I find your fabulous products?

simple! just click on the “Shop CraftyESC” tab in the banner, and you’ll see a link to Spreadsheet, as well as all the pretty stuff I have on Etsy.

holy ripoff, batman! why is your shit so expensive? why don’t you just go to CafePress and use THEIR cheap, crappy service?

Because Spreadshirt’s stuff is better than CafePress. The quality of the t-shirts are SO much better (did you know t-shirts aren’t supposed to be see-through? AMAZING!!) Because they are better quality, the price is higher.

Why don’t you have that one cool thing you put on your blog last year with the evilchick holding the thing with the thing on it?

If you have any requests for designs, maybe one of my old banners, or anything else you can think up, let me know and I’ll try to accommodate. Of course, if you request something and I go through the trouble of making it and then YOU don’t buy it, then you are a dick and I’d sleep with one eye open tonight if I were you, buddy!

yessss…lip tumors are teh sexay…

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