This post will NOT be (solely) about my girl parts because oh geez even I’M sick of talking about them. Just to say that in the natural progression of things, and in spite of the diflucan I took at the beginning of the week, the predictable happened and now I’m popping MORE diflucan and using yogurt in ways the FDA would thoroughly disapprove of.
And also a big FUCK YOU to my insurance company that wouldn’t cover the GENERIC cream that would have given me much quicker relief.
So that’s enough of that.
Earlier this month our washing machine began expressing its distaste at being used by attempting to escape from the laundry room during every spin cycle, and subsequently tearing a small hole in our BRAND NEW FUCKING FLOOR. This was not acceptable, and since we don’t exactly have the cash to plop down $400 for a brand new machine, it was TO CRAIGSLIST for us.
craigslist washer #1 – $50. beautiful condition. Sadly, had crack in tub, and water gushed EVERYWHERE during our test load. sorry, downstairs neighbors. Go refund.
craigslist washer #2 – $40. Still in good shape, but spin cycle only worked for a few of the settings. Returned, got refund.
OK, craigslist, you had your chance.
So it was to the discount appliance scratch n dent stores with us! We drove around atlanta all afternoon on saturday, sweating our butts off in the hotlanta sun, looking for a washer in a post 1982 that was around $100.
Folks, it is DEPRESSING what people want for really shitty old washing machines.
The last place we tried was owned by…um…a bit of a character. His washing machines were by far the nicest of the bunch, but he wanted $170 for them and that was just too much. However, we ended up sticking around and chatting with him for a bit…and then it got weird. VERY weird.
He started talking about Mayans. And how their calendar predicts a cosmic shift in 2012. And that happened when neanderthals were around, and then they WEREN’T around, and our ancestors starting building pyramids. And the catholic church admits that angels are probably aliens. And he kept talking about Mayans. And our ancestors. And how they knew THINGS because they looked at the stars. THE STARS! The Mayans knew about stars. THINK ABOUT IT.
It was getting kind of freaky folks. And I know freaky because I attract the freaks like FLIES. Kev was just standing there next to the guy, as trapped as I was. I was calculating the effort it would take to vault over the row of washers and dryers blocking me from the exit, when the guy finished his sermon and said the ONLY THING he could have said to keep me running out of the store screaming. “I tell you what, any of my $170 washers, I’ll sell to you for $130. Including tax.”
SOLD, crazy dude!
So now I have a brand new NICE washing machine with lots of knobs and settings that is quiet and has not leaked or tried to escape yet. KNOCK ON WOOD.
how YOU doin’?
This was NOT the most awesome bargain from the day, though. Saturday was FULL! of awesome bargains. Like the garage sale we stopped in on, hoping they’d have a washer. And instead I found a BRAND NEW NEVER USED king size wool/alpaca blend blanket by some fancy italian company. I can’t find this particular blanket online, but the company’s other stuff is hundreds to THOUSANDS of dollars. The wool blanket on their site is $700. This has alpaca in it, which surely raises the cost. I got it for….
$18.
Hells yeah, baby.
Later that night we went out with friends for an early celebration of Kev’s birthday, as well as a “we haven’t seen each other in HOW LONG???” reunion.
Drinks at the Brickstore Pub, followed by a giant meal at Parker’s on Ponce, where Kev and I shared a “porterhouse for 2,” cooked medium rare, covered in blue cheese, and accompanied sides of marinated mushrooms and black truffle mac and cheese. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, it was delicious. Followed by a coffee and a dessert of flourless chocolate cake topped with dulce de leche ice cream. DECADENT. And pricey. Good thing Kev’s birthday is only once a year.
The party wasn’t over, as we stumbled full and slightly drunk to Twain’s, Decatur favorite billiards bar. We had a short wait before we could get a pool table, which we filled with more drinks.
And then we pretended to be awesome pool sharks, running the tables and making FAT SCRATCH, yo.
The reality was, it took us an hour to play 2 and a half games.
Elizabeth cheated when she was too drunk to hit the cueball straight:
Kev and I rocked the table…in a non dirty way.
And a good time was had by all.
Today, I’m just a tad hungover, and am catching up on a MOUNTAIN of dirty laundry. Tonight I made Kev’s birthday cheesecake.
Great score on the washer! And I’m trying to imagine how big a Parker’s steak for two must be. Jim inadvertently ordered their 20 oz prime rib a few weeks ago, and I almost had a heart attack just looking at the massive thing. Glad you had a fun night.
@Jane – it was a 32oz steak, though I think that included the bone and was weighed before trimming. There was definitely not 32oz of meat on that sucker! It was delicious, though – medium rare and JUICY!
Can I just say that I LOVE the Brickstore and Twain’s!?!?!?! Man, if there is one thing we miss about the ATL it is the Brickstore. They have the best veggie burger EVA!
Isn’t Kev just the luckiest guy ever? You bought him a washing machine for his birthday!
hahahahahaaha, damn! you made my day!!!
A washing machine trying to escape, goddamn you’re so funny!
You got $50 off your washing machine for listening to his f’ed up story about Mayans and aliens? Lucky! I had to listen to my realtor tell an f’ed up story about Native Americans making the buffalo go extinct and I didn’t get a discount!