UTI part 2: revenge of the urethra

“Do you remember to PEE after having sex?”

- Yes.  But not until after Kev unties the knots and removes the clamps.

“Do you remember to wipe front to back?”

- Wipe?

PEOPLE!  THESE ARE NOT APPROPRIATE QUESTIONS!!!!  The appropriate question to ask after someone tells you they have a UTI, AFTER expressing appropriate sympathy is:

Do you need some chocolate?

I had sent cipro in there to take care of business, and instead my UTI had beat up cipro, stolen its lunch money, and shoved it into a locker.  Then it laughed and went out back to smoke a cigarette.

My UTI had beat cipro.  I didn’t even know it was possible.

Thursday morning I called my doctor and left a message about this unnerving development, thinking that maybe they could call in a new prescription for me.  While I waited for the callback, I started googling “urinary tract infection, cipro, resistance.”

Don’t ever google your health problems.  Phrases like “hospitalization” and “IV antibiotics” kept popping up.  This was not condusive to a relaxing morning at work for me.  Fortunately, my doctor called me back to put my fears at rest.

“Oh no…the cipro isn’t working?  This is not good.  This is Not.  Good.  This is very bad.  This could affect your kidneys!  This is bad!  You need to come in.  When can you come in?  How soon can you get here?  Now?  Can you come in now?”

Thanks doc!

My conversation a few minutes later with my manager was rather one sided and a little wild eyed.

“Soooo ummm…my doctor just called, and remember how I was sick earlier?  Well, my antibiotics aren’t working….and umm…yeah, my doctor said I need to come in now and get a shot!  Haha!  It probably won’t take long, I’ll be back!  It’s just a shot!  Umm…I’m probably fine.  OK?  Is that OK?”

At this point my manager probably thought I either had a brain infection or an STD.  He was very cool about it, and I left in a hurry.  I tried to obey the speed limit on the way home, because I did NOT want to have an awkward conversation with a cop.

COP: did you know you were speeding?

ESC: yes, sorry…I’m on my way to the doctor.  I have a UTI!

COP: ohh.  Do you know you need to pee after sex?

Made it to the doctors without incident.  She told me the new treatment strategy: a shot of antibiotics and a new prescription for augmentin.  OK, sounds good.  She came back in with a full shot of drugs, and I rolled up my sleeve.

Doc: Ohh…no…I need a big muscle.

ESC:  Oh, like, my leg?

Doc: No…

Thank god she mixed it with a numbing agent, because I stood there ass out getting that shot for about a minute and a half – stupid slow injection time.  And it STILL hurt.

And then I was BACK at Walgreens, with the same pharm tech who filled my last prescription of Cipro and AZO, now two days later checking me out for a 10 day supply of augmentin, a diflucan tablet, another box of AZO,  a bottle of cranberry supplements, and a bottle of acidophilus capsules.  And do you know what she said?

“Have a nice day!”

And I just LOOKED at her…and then down at my bag of urinary horror…and then back up at her, and she said “Oh…well…feel better, anyway.”

Please congratulate me on the amount of effort it took to prevent me from lunging over the counter at her.  The effort WAS great, thanks for noticing!

And now, two days later, I DO feel better!  Thank GOD.

So good that I made cookies last night.  So instead of leaving you with the horrible mental images of my urinary tract, how about some OMG awesome cookies?  Your reward for reading entirely too much about my health.

These are Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Cookies (recipe here) which I made for the first time and DEFINITELY recommend.  Especially if you like soft chocolate chip cookies – these are soft, and just a little creamy.   I made a double batch and set aside 3 tubes worth to freeze for another day.