Dear [NAME REDACTED BUT RHYMES WITH "DAY"] Jewelery Store Employee,
“Comfortable” is not a compliment. Not for women. So when you look me up and down and tell me that I look “comfortable today,” you are basically telling me that I look like shit. Which I DON’T, thankyouverymuch. I look cute, and yes, COMFORTABLE in my brown skirt/green top outfit and sandals, but that’s not something you say to POTENTIAL FEMALE CUSTOMERS.
I realize that you feel smug and superior in your role as Sooper Important Jewelry Store Employee. But face it: you work in a mall. And maybe it’s the Nicest Mall in Birmingham, AL, but bitch please…that’s like saying you’re the classiest whore in Detroit. NOT IMPRESSED. So please take your attitude and your ugly, one size too big double breasted suited ass OUT of my face and let your nervous looking lacky wash my damn rings liked I asked so I can get out of your crappy store.
Sincerely,
ESC, sooper bitch.
And let’s be honest, here. Jewelery-Store-Whose-Name-Rhymes-With-Day is not exactly the high-falutinest of jewelers. It’s sort of like an employee at Kohl’s (perfectly decent store, but still pretty middle of the road) acting like their store is terribly exclusive.
You know, you could’ve at least sent me a text saying you were gonna be in town and YET AGAIN were not going to visit me instead of me having to YET AGAIN read it on your blog.
Also, I would have made her pull out the most expensive ring and hem and haw over it and get Kevin to say, “Baby, get whatever you want, it’s your day.” And then go, “Thanks but no thanks. This isn’t nice enough for me.” And walk out.
Wow! She called you “comfortable”? From what I know of Birmingham, AL, that’s a big compliment. I hear they’re so snooty there that you’re lucky she talked to you at all! The stories my wife’s aunt tells us of living down there…..
Wow. Also: hate their commercials with a fiery passion.
Maybe you should have said, “So do you, which is amazing considering you have that huge stick up your ass!”
Is there hope that the double-breasted bitch was jealous of your comfort?
I hate mall jewelers.