July « 2006 « Evilsciencechick

ya had a bad day…

I spent much of this morning in the bathroom, wondering what the hell I ate this weekend that is so torturing my lower innards.

I got to the library on campus. I noticed 3 things:

1. it was colder than ann coulter’s snatch

2. some bitch had taken my usual spot

3. the wireless internet [...]

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Go to Target. Buy their Archer Farms Parmesean Garlic home-style kettle-cooked potato chips. Bring them home. Open the bag.

Now…TRY not to eat them all in one sitting. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

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Cooking Cute – I am addicted, and would LOVE to make my own little bento meals for lunch every day! If I had the time and energy. Bah!

A morning of ups and downs.

MOSTLY ups. In order to increase the chances of my going to hell, I decided to play hooky from church and the choir* this morning so I could sleep in and have lazy weekend morning sex with Kev.

*shit like this always backfires on me. later I will find out that there were NO altos [...]

conversationettes

2am

Kev: *sigh* I can’t sleep!

ESC: mmzzzz…hmmm…turn on the tv…I don’t mind

Kev: meh

ESC: put it on CNN, that’ll put you to sleep

Kev: current events will just piss me off

ESC: hmmmzzzz…the weather channel?

Kev: that will just piss me off

ESC: mmmzzzz…hehehehe…

Kev: hehehehe

ESC: dammit, don’t make me laugh when [...]

request for good voodoo

Please send prayers, good vibes, happy thoughts, chants, good voodoo, and variously scented incense smoke out to my friend Elizabeth.

Elizabeth is one of my bridesmaids, and one of my best friends. Last week she gave birth via C-section to her second child – the beautiful and healthy lil’ L. However, the docs screwed up [...]

ESC. 2006 “referenced by many, respected by none” …but mostly rants. 28:951.

The thing that is bugging me the most about the writing, is the whole “book report” aspect of it. 90% of the writing is making sure you’ve read and referenced 10,000 other papers on the subject. Soooo many references. I have to look up every damn paper that ever vaguely touched on my subject and [...]

happy writing distractions

I am deliriously happy. From Slashfood, I found out that all the clips from the muppet show featuring the Swedish Chef have been compiled in one site.

I weep for joy.

I seem to have a hard time getting the ball rolling for writing. This is how my morning schedule seems to go:

stop at [...]

food mojo

It’s no secret that I spent June and most of this month a seething ball of stress. During that time, I would try to relax on the couch, and as I was relaxing, my insides felt like they were planning a revolt and were intending to jump out of my body.

And also, I could [...]

gold medal procrastinator

When I wasn’t painting or scraping wallpaper this weekend, I SHOULD have been writing. Writing writing writing…it’s what I’m doing now…I mean, before I started typing this post as a method of procrastination.

aside: Writing…what’s another word for “nascent,” because I think I’m using it WAY too much.

Anyway…I didn’t write this weekend. Instead I [...]

RT @cotycockrell: "She has her thighs, she has my Lily's hazel thighs!" #ReplaceEyesWithThighsInASong 3 weeks ago
RT @BarackObama: Breaking: The Senate defeats a filibuster and votes to begin debate on common-sense steps to reduce gun violence. #NowI ... 1 month ago
Woooooooo sploosh! Quick, someone text me. 1 month ago
All I want is a text notification that's Pam from Archer saying "sploosh." Is that too much to ask? 1 month ago
RT @TheOnion: Another Screaming Altar Boy Tossed Into Sistine Chapel Oven To Indicate No New Pope | More Papal Conclave Coverage: http:/ ... 2 months ago

Follow @theESC

Thar she blows!
Large Boobed Friend: So my friend thinks I should get a sleeveless wedding dress.
All of us: NO WAAAAY!!!
LBF: Right? I told her, how would I even support my body in something like that, and she said "It's called boning, duh!"
Me: Oh my god, you'd need, like, the WHOLE WHALE!
dave-vriska:

jacklullaby:

jacklullaby:

unfollower:

men should take advantage of the lack of dress code rules set for guys and wear mini skirts and tank tops to school every day

OH MY GOD LAST YEAR THE DUDES ON MY CLASS HAVE DONE IT

AND THEY GOT ALL CALLED IN THE PRINCIPAL’S ROOM

BUT THEY DIDNT GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE

THEY SAID EXACTLY IT “BUT THOSE RULES ARE ONLY FOR GIRLS”

I’M NOT EVEN JOKING

heroes

My brother, Aaron, did this once. The principal called my mom to let her know her son wore a skirt to school. My mom said “Well? Is it against the rules?”

The principal got flustered and said, that, well no, it’s not, but that it was causing a distraction and that was against the rules. Mom wanted to know if she needed to bring him clothes to change into, and the principal said no, Aaron had worn shorts under the skirt, so he just had to take the skirt off.

So mom finally asked “Well then why did you call me???” The principal didn’t really have a good answer to that one.
Wet dog
Sadie: I HAVE TO GO OUT
Me: What? You just peed an hour ago. And it's pouring down rain out there.
Sadie: I HAVE TO POOP
Me: You hate the rain.
Sadie: I HAVE TO POOP NOW
Me: OK then.
Me: *later, at her pooping spot, in the rain*
Sadie: I NO LONGER HAVE TO POOP
Me: What? You were DESPERATE to go, five minutes ago.
Sadie: I DON'T LIKE THE RAIN. I DON'T HAVE TO POOP.
Me: I am not falling for this. 10 minutes inside, and you'll be crying to go out again.
Sadie: NO I WON'T.
Me: We are staying out here until you poop.
Sadie: I HATE YOU